New York State Of Mind
by mysticmonkey86
Summary: Rachel Berry is a new student just trying to make her way at NYADA, But falling in love causes huge problems. Britanna ! *Still overwhelmed from the support of my last story TABOMHT, thank you !*
1. Chapter 1

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 1

I heaved my huge suitcase up the grey steps. There were fourteen steps just to get to the front door of the building, then I had to struggle up five more flights of stairs. Why I had been placed on the sixth floor I didn't know, but I couldn't complain in case they sent me even higher. The place had twenty-eight floors all together, and as the elevator wasn't working , it would not be ideal.

As I walked down a corridor where the walls were painted a dirty brown, I hoped the dorm room would be more cheerful than this.

"Room 312" I muttered to myself as I stood opposite a blue door.

I rummaged around in my shoulder bag, finding the keys , checking the door and the key had the same number on. I let out a sigh of relief knowing I was at the right room and pushed the key through the lock.

I was pleased as I glanced around the room. It was in stark contrast to the dark corridors and grey outside of the building. The walls were bright and creamy, with a fluffy matching carpet . The curtains were wedding dress white and the room was huge, it had its own kitchenette which was a bonus, because most of the rooms didn't.

I walked through, peering into the bedrooms. There were two rooms with a bed, chest of draws and a wardrobe in each. They were also cream and white. The bathroom contained a huge circular bath and a shower, and I knew I had lucked out. I had heard some horror stories from some of my friends about the state of their dorm rooms. It made me shudder recalling the tales about dirt and infestations.

I was a bit of a perfectionist and wanted to get everything put in its place, so I started packing all my things away then and there. There was no point in putting it off, and by the time I heard the key go in the door, I had packed the last item away and shoved my now empty suitcase under the bed.

I rushed out to see who had walked in . This was the nerve-wracking part. What if I ended up with a roommate I would hate? What if they were a nightmare to live with and I had to put up with them for the next year?

I smiled at the girl who was hovering by the door with a huge pink suitcase and glancing round the room nervously. She looked terrified actually, more terrified than I felt which was weird, as this girl was in a cheerleaders outfit. Weren't all cheerleaders confident and outgoing? This was frickin hilarious, putting her , Rachel Berry, with a cheerleader. The blonde girl looked like everything that I have never been and will never be.

"Hey, I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you" I out stretched my hand for the girl to shake , but was pulled into an awkward hug instead.

"Hey roomie, I'm Brittany and I am so nervous I could crap myself."

I burst out laughing, then felt guilty.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you, I just… I just didn't expect you to say that. I'm crapping myself as well. This is scary huh?"

Brittany nodded, smiling still nervously at me. She gave me a once over on my outfit, my blue dress had white stars all over it, stars were my favourite thing, they were a metaphor for me. I had purple knee-high socks with a matching purple hat, my long brunette hair pulled into a side braid, and my footwear of choice were black pumps. My style wasn't to everyone's taste, I used to get teased about it all the time. I had considered changing my look for starting university, but then realised if I started the year on a lie, trying to be someone I wasn't, then I would never fit in.

"Well, we can be scared together then can't we? Come on roomie, give me the tour."

I nodded, and motioned for Brittany to follow me. I opened the door to what would be Brittany's room.

"I hope you don't mind, I already packed my stuff away in the other one. But I didn't think it would matter, the rooms are identical but if you want, we can swap."

Brittany smiled at me in reassurance.

"Don't be silly, this room will be fine . Nice place we seem to have here."

I had to agree as I went and sat on the bed.

"Yeah, I was just thinking that. It's not too shabby. Hey, uh, can I ask why you are already in a cheerleader uniform and we haven't even started the year yet?"

It had puzzled me ever since Brittany had walked in. They didn't start classes until tomorrow. I was already trembling at the thought. I had somehow made it in to the biggest university in New York. Rachel Berry had made it to NYADA. I didn't know whether to laugh with joy or cry in fear. I knew it would be a whole different ball game to high school. Everything had changed and the year hadn't even started yet. Her old friends would laugh so much if they knew she had been made to live with a cheerleader. But this particular one seemed lovely.

Brittany looked down at her red and white cheer outfit proudly. She obviously loved being a cheerleader.

"I was head cheerleader at my old school, and the cheer coach at NYADA scouted me out and offered me a place on the squad straight away. I haven't even met her yet, but I have heard crazy things about her. Sue Sylvester. The most famous cheer coach in history."

I raised an eyebrow at her skeptically.

"Really? I have never heard of her."

"Are you into cheerleading?"

Brittany was looking at me as if she already knew the answer.

I shook my head, it was no good pretending I was.

"Well then that would be why. So anyway, I thought as she sent me the outfit, I should wear it with pride when I turned up. You never know if she is watching you, she could be keeping tabs, I wouldn't put it past her. She is feared, but respected. I can't wait to start being coached by her. You want to help me put my things away~?"

"Sure, why not."

We spoke non stop as we found a place for her things . I told her I was going to call her Britt whether she liked it or not, she seemed happy about it. I already liked her, and felt so much relief that I hadn't been paired with a bitch.

"So, we haven't got classes til tomorrow, we have packed all our things away, you want to go check out the NYADA grounds, get a feel for the place?"

I couldn't stop my grin as I nodded. I had been itching to explore since I got here, so the fact I would have someone to do it with was a complete bonus.

As we trudged back down all the stairs and walked outside into the sunlit day, Britt linked my arm.

"Let me guess, you want to go check out the cheer camp of NYADA first?"

Her eyes lit up.

"Oh can we? That would be great. Then we can go straight to check out all your classes you will be in."

I had told her when we were packing away that I would be doing singing, acting and dancing. She would be in my acting classes as well as doing cheer. I couldn't stop grinning with excitement as I walked round camp with a popular cheerleader. It was so removed from my days at school that it might as well have been another planet.

Brittany 'oooed' and 'aaahhd' as we walked round the vast space where the cheerleaders would be practicing.

"Wow. Look at it. It's the best thing I have ever seen."

Even though I knew nothing about cheerleading, I had to admit, the grounds were impressive.

"Oh, look over there Britt, you wanna go say hi?"

I pointed to three girls who were huddled in a group, talking to each other, wearing the same cheer outfit as Brittany.

She nodded, clutching my arm nervously as we headed straight for them.

"Hey, I thought I would come over and introduce myself. I'm Brittany. Brittany S Pearce."

I looked at her in surprise, I didn't realise that was her last name .

A latino cheerleader with dark black hair and brown eyes turned round to look at us. She didn't look too impressed with me, but her eyes widened when she saw Britt.

"As in Britney Spears?"

Britt nodded, I wasn't sure about this girl. She looked like she had a crap load of attitude on her.

"Well, hello Brittany, I'm Santana Lopez, head cheerleader of this joint. This is Tina."

We both waved at Tina, she looked quite shy and sweet, not as hard faced as Santana. The third girl in the group stepped forward, swinging her pony tail.

"And I'm Kitty. I don't mean to be rude, but why is an uber cool cheerleader hanging around with someone like that?"

She gestured towards me in disgust, then looked at Britt, waiting for an answer.

Brittany , who still had her arm linked in mine, gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"This is Rachel. And she's also uber cool. And when you say, you don't mean to be rude, you clearly were rude. And I don't care for rude people."

Kitty scoffs at Britts words.

"Well I don't care for cheerleaders hanging around with saps who will bring our whole reputation down."

"Well you better walk away then Kitty. Because Rachel is my friend, and you will be seeing a lot of her now I am on the squad."

Kitty crosses her arms over her chest in annoyance, glancing from me to Britt, then at Santana.

"Are you going to let a newbie talk to me like that Santana?"

Santana shrugs, looking at Kitty with distaste.

"You heard what Brittany said, If you don't like the situation, walk away. "

Kitty throws me a filthy look, before walking off in a huff. Santana rolls her eyes at the blonde girls back, then looks at us, or rather … Brittany.

"She's a bitch, you get used to her after a while. Wow, your eyes are amazing."

Brittanys cheeks turn pink at the compliment, while I stand there awkwardly. It seemed to me plain as day that this Santana had a thing going for Britt. It was glaringly obvious in the way she was staring at her. I didn't know what to make of it, I had no idea if Britt liked girls or boys, she hadn't mentioned anything… and besides, even if Santana had stuck up for us over that Kitty, I still wasn't sure about her. She seemed like the type of person who would crush you if you didn't cater to her every need.

"Thanks. Erm…. We should get going now. It was nice to meet you, I guess I will see you both tomorrow."

Santana nods, with a gleam in her eye.

"I look forward to it Brittany S Pearce. Catch you later."

I wave goodbye at them, well, Tina mainly, she seemed sweet, then started heading to the huge NYADA building , staring at Britt who's cheeks were still pink.

"Well, You certainly made an impression on someone."

She giggles, letting go of my arm so she could pull down her cheerios skirt and fiddle with her hair.

"Did I?"

Her voice sounds innocent, but I could tell she knew as well as I did that Santana liked her.

"Don't play innocent with me Britt. So…. What do you think ?"

"What do I think of what?"

She asks as she pulls her skirt down yet again.

"Oh stop it. You know exactly what I am on about. Do you like her?"

Her pink cheeks turn red.

"They both seemed lovely."

I give her a playful shove, rolling my eyes at her.

"Brittany! Santana, the pretty head cheerleader. What did you think of her?"

She pushes me back gently, looking down at the ground as we walk so she doesn't have to look me in the eye.

"She was very… She seemed….. erm…. Oh I can't believe you are making me do this. Fine. She was gorgeous OK . There."

I squealed.

"I knew it! Wow, I just witnessed the start of a romance."

She shook her head at me as if I were mad.

"Next you will be having us married or something. I don't even know if she was impressed with me like you said she was. She probably has some hunky boyfriend sitting at home waiting for her. We don't even know she likes girls."

We come to a stop in front of the huge entrance way of NYADA, looking up at the intimidating building.

"She was basically undressing you with her eyes. She was in to you. But Britt, be careful yeah? I will be keeping an eye on her."

She laughs at my response.

"Oh my God! My roommate has known me for a couple of hours and is already protecting me from potential heart breakers. I landed a goodun, I can tell. And don't worry, I will be careful."

I pull her in for a hug, I couldn't wait to get the year started. With her by my side, we were going to have fun.

"Right, shall we go take a look?"

I nod my head towards the entrance hall, she nods in return and we walk up three steps .

I push the huge door, it wouldn't budge. Brittany pulled it, and it still wouldn't budge. I look at her in confusion.

"Sorry girls, you can't go in there."

I stare at the man who had just walked up the steps, he was standing just behind Brittany. She came and stood beside me so we were both facing him.

He had scruffy blue paint splattered overalls on over a white t-shirt and jeans. His once black trainers were also covered in paint , and he had a huge streak of white going across his cheek. His huge hazel eyes were framed with thick dark eyelashes that were almost girly. And his thick black eyebrows somehow made his eyes look bigger. His black hair was shiny and plastered to his head with what seemed a never-ending amount of hair gel. He looked like he should be in one of those calendars where you have a different workman for each month, Police officer, Fireman, Office worker, hunky paint splattered workman.

"Really? It said in our NYADA booklets that students were welcome to have a look round the day before classes start?"

Brittany was right, it had clearly stated that in the book, so why couldn't we go in?

"I know , but nobody turned up today, they were probably all celebrating their freedom before they get bogged down with work or something, so I locked everything up."

He produced a huge chain of keys from his pocket and jingled them at us, as if to prove the point.

"But we wanted to have a look round, so I guess you can unlock the doors now."

He stares directly at me as I speak, and it makes my belly flutter. His eyes were intense.

"I'm sorry girls, I can't do that. Every time I lock the building, I have to inform the head, so I already phoned him a bit back and told him everything was locked up. It's a pain in the ass."

"Wow, I can see what you mean, a phone call would be a real inconvenience to you. Don't worry about us, who just walked for miles to have a look round a building that is closed. You go back to doing…. What ever it is you do. Key man, painter. What ever. Thanks a bunch."

I grabbed Britts arm and started pulling her down the three steps with me.

"That was rude, and we didn't walk miles. We live on camp you nut." Britt hissed in my ear.

"He doesn't need to know that." I sounded snappier than I had meant to.

"Wait."

His voice called out and I could hear his keys jangle again. We turned back to face him just in time to see him unlocking the doors. We ran back up the steps. I hugged him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. I felt bad about being rude to him just now, but it had obviously done the trick.

"Thank you." I whisper as I walk past him in to the entrance hall.

"Oh my god! You just made the painter man go red." Brittany muttered in my ear.

I quickly glanced at him, he was still rooted to the spot and his cheeks had indeed went bright red.

He was seriously cute. I shook the thoughts out of my head. I had to concentrate. I was at my dream school and wanted to know exactly what rooms I had to be in for class tomorrow.

"Hang on, I have to escort you round the building. Make sure you don't get up to anything you shouldn't."

He catches up with us, standing on Britts side which if I am being honest, put me out a little. I wanted him beside me.

"What is it you think we would be getting up to exactly?"

Britts tone is puzzled as she asks the question. It was a fair point.

He shrugs as we walk along together.

"Who knows? But you both look like trouble to me so I better keep an eye on you."

Britt had paused to look at something and as he said those words, I caught him looking at me. I turned to look at a painting of the headmaster on the wall, knowing that I couldn't quite look at him without my belly doing somersaults.

"Do we at least get to know your name before we let you drag us around an old , dark, empty building."

He chuckles at my words, then suddenly, he is alongside me, looking up at the painting as well. His teeth were white and even, he had a beautiful smile.

"Fair point. My name is Blaine. Blaine Anderson. And you are?"

He holds out a hand for me to shake, his biceps bulging under his white T-shirt. The work he done here obviously made him strong.

"Nice to meet you Blaine Anderson. I'm Rachel Berry."

As I shake his hand, I feel like I just got shocked. I always laughed at that, you know if you ever read something like it in a book… 'When we touched, fireworks went off' and all that nonsense, it always made me want to vomit. But now I realised, it was true. Those moments really did happen.

He felt it as well. I watch as his huge eyes widen as we touch and he actually takes a step back.

"Uh, and uh… this is erm…. She is …. This is my…. We live….."

"I'm Brittany, and we are roommates. Nice to meet you Blaine."

She shakes his hand as well, then links my arm and starts dragging me down the first corridor we come to, Blaine trailing behind us.

"What was that about?" Her voice is quiet so only I can hear.

"I don't know. I uh…. I don't know."

She giggles as I try and find an explanation for what just happened.

"Oh I can't wait to tease you about this when we get out of here."

She pulls me to a stop as we wait for Blaine to catch us up, he still looked as shocked as I did.

"So Blaine, what exactly is it you do here?"

"A bit of everything really. Painting, cleaning, plumbing… anything and everything. I guess you could call me the care taker."

He looked at Britt as he answered , which was fair enough as she asked the question, but I couldn't help thinking he was avoiding me.

"But you only look about our age. Are you not a student here?"

He shakes his head as a look of sadness crosses his face.

"Twenty one"

His answer is brisk, and he makes no mention of being a student here. I had just celebrated my nineteenth birthday and Britt was eighteen. So he wasn't much older.

"Anyway, what do you girls want to see first?"

We decide to see the acting classes first as we would be having those together. We spent an hour being showed around everywhere before we decided to make a move.

As our eyes adjusted to the bright sun as we exited the building, Blaine cleared his throat.

"Have a good first day tomorrow then girls. I am sure you will do well."

Brittany smiles and embraces him with a warm hug. I couldn't help but notice his cheeks didn't even turn a little pink when she hugged him.

"Thanks Blaine, and thanks for the tour, it was real kind of you."

He smiles at her in return, then his eyes switch to me. I felt awkward, not knowing what to do. Things had been weird between us since we touched in the entrance hall, but as Brittany had hugged him, I thought it would be weird if I didn't.

I half heartedly reached up to put my arm around him, patting him on the back like I would pat my Nan or Grandad .

"Thanks."

I didn't trust my voice to say anything else. I tried to hide my shock as he wrapped both his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, hugging me tight. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as we hugged. He smelt good, he actually smelt a bit like coconuts, but still manly at the same time. I shivered slightly as he whispered in my ear.

"No problem Rachel."

I felt weak and light-headed as he let me go. Brittany was staring at us, her eyebrow arched in question.

I straightened my dress out, as if the hug had crinkled it, then fiddled with my hair just as Britt had done earlier when I teased her about Santana.

Blaine didn't break eye contact with me as he smiled.

"I'll be seeing you."

And with that , he turned away, whistling and jangling his keys as he walked off and disappeared round the corner.

I looked at the smirk on Britts face and held my hand out in a stop gesture.

"Don't say anything."

I walked down the three steps quickly as she cackled with laughter.

Despite my demand to not say a word, she teased me all the way home.


	2. Chapter 2

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 2

I stretched out in bed, yawning loudly. I switched my beeping alarm off and sprung out of bed excitedly. Today signalled the start of classes at NYADA and I couldn't wait to get going.

I could see Britt was still fast asleep, we had both left our bedroom doors wide open last night , that was how comfortable we already felt with each other. I decided to jump in the shower while she was still sound. I sung loudly as I shampoo my hair, hoping Britt would wake up. We didn't have to leave for another hour but I wanted to chat to her, I was full of energy.

I pulled on my favourite tartan skirt and a navy T-shirt with a big gold bow on the front. I teamed it with white knee-high socks, navy pumps and left my hair loose, falling down over my shoulders. By the time I was dressed and sorted, Britt was in our little kitchenette making toast and coffee.

"Want some?"

I grin at her.

"Yes please! Morning roomie!"

She hugs me in greeting as I walk over to her.

"Good morning roomie. Look at you raring to go. I need to grab a quick shower but I need coffee first otherwise I won't be human."

I smile, grabbing a fresh coffee she had just poured out and went to sit on the white sofa.

"I am so happy we have our first class together. I won't feel so alone. It's hard sometimes. You saw that cheerleader Kitty and her reaction to me yesterday. I usually get that kind of reaction, so knowing that I won't be alone at first is a great help."

She sinks down on the sofa next to me, and squeezes my knee in affection.

"You have to ignore people like that Rach. You are awesome. That Kitty obviously doesn't have a brain. Don't worry, she won't be giving you anymore trouble."

I smile gratefully.

"Speaking of cheerleaders, are you excited to be seeing Santana again today?"

She drains the last of her coffee and stands up with a dramatic sigh and shake of the head.

"Oh look at the time, I better go have that shower."

I chuckle at her reaction.

"We are going to have to talk about it at some point Brittany S Pearce. I want all the details tonight when we get home."

She doesn't answer as she goes to the bathroom. I finish my coffee as I hear the shower running . As I munch on a bit of toast, I hear her singing just like I had done a little while ago. She actually had a really good voice and I wondered why she wasn't taking singing class.

Forty five minutes later, with Britt in her cheer outfit and a high pony swinging behind her, we begun our walk to NYADA.

We waved at a few other excited students as we all made our way to the huge building.

We were the first two at our acting class , mainly thanks to Blaine who had shown us the way yesterday.

I wondered if I would see him around the grounds at some point. I thought it was unlikely. After all, he would do his work after hours when the students weren't around and NYADA was a huge place with thousands of people so our paths crossing would be very slim. But the thought of not running into him again filled me with disappointment.

We sat down in the vast classroom next to each other. I didn't want to seem clingy and desperate to Britt so I told her she could sit somewhere else if she wanted. After all, I didn't want people shunning her because she was next to me. She looked at me as if I were mad and told me to get lost, she was staying put.

The class started to fill up, and we made sure to say hi to all the people who walked in. I was determined to make friends while I was here.

The teacher took her place at the front and I instantly decided I liked her. She was short, blonde and quirky. Her name was April Rhodes and she had been a huge star in Broadway many years ago.

She made us pair up and act out a break up scene. We could choose the pairs so me and Britt stuck together. I teased her by telling her to pretend I was Santana. April said we done great for our first time, it had been a fun class and we left to go to lunch feeling happy.

We lined up to grab our food in the cafeteria, Britt chose a huge burger which made me laugh, she was so skinny but I bet she ate mountains of food and never put on weight. I went for the pasta.

We saw the same group of cheerleaders from yesterday sitting at a table . Santana waved us over and I glanced at Britt, not sure if it was a good idea with Kitty being there.

"Don't worry, I will soon put her in her place if she starts."

I took a deep breath and went and took a seat next to Tina. Britt sat opposite me next to Santana and they instantly started talking.

I smiled at Tina while Kitty glared at me. It was intimidating sitting on a table with four cheerleaders.

"How did your first morning go?" I asked nervously.

Tina launched into a detailed account of her morning, while Kitty continued to eyeball me.

Suddenly, I heard a clatter beside the table, I looked up to see Blaine picking up the broom he had just dropped, his cheeks red. His hair was again gelled to his head, and he was wearing a dark grey jacket and trousers with splodges and dirt over them, with a huge badge pinned to his chest saying Janitor.

"Hi again." Britt threw me a meaningful looks as she said hi to him, clearly wanting to wind me up like she did yesterday.

"Hey. S- s- sorry about that. I have obviously got my clumsy head on today."

I smile at him in sympathy. I knew what it was like to be a bit of a ditz. He looked so cute. But sexy at the same time. He had a certain charm about him.

"Well off you go. No need for you to linger round here anymore dirt boy. Go clean out some stinking turd in the toilets or something. We are trying to eat our lunch and the pathetic stench coming from you is off putting."

My mouth drops open at Kittys rudeness as Blaine's cheeks redden further.

"Kitty, stop being such a bitch. Sorry about her Blaine, she must be on her period."

I smiled at Britt gratefully for sticking up for Blaine, I was still incapable of speaking after what had just been said.

He shook his head with a sad smile.

"It's fine Brittany, I'm used to it. Hope you are enjoying your first day. See you later."

As he turns to walk away , Kitty scoffs.

"What a loser."

My conscience catches up with me as he walks away, clearly having heard Kittys last remark.

"Anyone ever told you to shut the fuck up?" I ask as I chuck the remainder of my drink over her head. I don't stop to see her reaction as I run out of the cafeteria, trying to catch him up.

"Hey. Blaine. Wait."

He turns, his eyes widening in surprise as he sees me running towards him. He tightens his grip on his broom, as if he were holding on to a weapon or something.

"Listen, I'm sorry about that back there. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Like I said, I'm used to it. But I didn't have you pegged as the sort of girl who hung out with cheerleaders."

I frown. He was right, but it bothered me that he seemed to know I didn't fit in.

"Well, as you know… I am rooming with Britt who happens to be a cheerleader. She is lovely. You know she is, you were with us yesterday."

The intense stare from yesterday comes back. It makes all the butterflies in my belly wake up. I felt like mush, my legs had turned to jelly.

"I wasn't really taking much notice of Britt yesterday if I am being honest. I was more interested in something, or… someone else."

My breathing quickens as I realise how close he suddenly is to my face . The moment is lost as he breaks away when a bunch of students walk out from the cafeteria, chatting noisily. He clears his throat, tightening his grip on his broom.

"Anyway, I didn't mean Brittany. You are right. She's sweet. I was talking about the others. You know, the ones who like to mouth off and call people dirt boys just because they are trying to make a living. You don't belong in that crowd Rachel."

He starts walking down the corridor, I walk beside him, the frown on my face deepening.

"And how would you know what sort of crowd I belong to? Don't just assume Blaine."

He looks my outfit up and down as we walk along making me feel self-conscious.

"The way you dress for a start. It doesn't exactly scream popular."

For the second time that day, my mouth falls open. My cheeks turn pink as I stop dead in the corridor.

"Excuse me? Way to be a hypocrite. You get all huffy about the cheerleaders picking on you, then you pick on me for the clothes I wear. Nice."

He stops when he realises I have stopped walking, and he actually looks angry.

"Oh grow up Rachel. Don't wear stuff like that if you don't want people to comment on it. And don't ever compare me to people like them. I am nothing like them. They are rich , spoilt little shits who think they will actually make their way in life because they are attending a university specialising in the arts that their wealthy parents paid for. You students are all the same. Maybe if you all ever removed your heads from your asses and actually took a look at the world going on around you, you would realise it isn't all about you."

For some reason, I want to cry. His words really bothered me. And they shouldn't have bothered me. Why did I care what some stuck up caretaker thought about me? But I did care.

"Don't hold back Blaine. You feel better now you have insulted a nervous stranger on her first day at Uni?"

A look of guilt crosses his face . He shuffles on his feet nervously and looks at the tiled floor.

"Look… I, I didn't…."

"Don't bother. You feel what you feel and you can't help that. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to my rich, spoilt friends so we can all resume the fun task of sticking our heads up our asses."

I turn on my heel and try to walk away gracefully, I know he is still watching.

"Rachel, wait."

He calls, but I ignore it as I carry on walking. I vaguely hear him call my name again but he is soon drowned out by the noise of the cafeteria as I walk back in.

As I reach the table, Kitty is nowhere to be seen. I sit back down next to Tina as she, Santana and Britt all give me a high-five.

"I wasn't sure about you yesterday. I thought you were dwarfish and a little too annoying for my liking, but after that display, I have decided you are ace. That , was without a doubt, one of the best things I have ever seen."

I laugh at Santana's words.

"I wasn't sure about you either, You come across as snarky and seem like somebody who carries a huge chip on her shoulder, but today, you seem alright."

I tuck in to my pasta which was now pretty much cold as Santana laughs at me.

"I think we will get along just fine dwarf. Can I call you dwarf?"

"No." I mumble through a mouth full of food.

"Oh, when I asked, I wasn't actually asking permission. Sorry dwarf, the name sticks. Anyway, we are off now, I'm going to show Brittany more of the cheer camp before the bell goes."

I look across at Britt.

"Have fun in cheer class. Are we walking home together?"

She walks round to my side of the table , bending down and wrapping her arms around my neck which quite frankly, felt uncomfortable due to the fact I was eating.

"You betcha roomie. Meet you in the parking lot. 4:30?"

I nod in confirmation and watch the three cheerleaders walk away, Britt and Santana giggling away beside each other, and Tina walking quietly alongside them.

I scrambled in my bag for my timetable, checking out where I had to be next. It was singing, and I made my way nervously to the class. I didn't know anyone who would be in this one, and it was a bit daunting.

There were no tables in this class, just seats and a piano in the centre. I loved it. A couple holding hands walked in and sat beside me. I decided to introduce myself, it couldn't hurt and I wouldn't get to know anyone otherwise.

"Hey guys! I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you."

The girl answered with a dazzling smile while her boyfriend introduced them.

"Hi Rachel, nice to meet you as well. I'm Jake and this is my beautiful girlfriend Marley." He kissed her on the cheek as he finished speaking, causing Marley to giggle and blush.

"Sorry Rachel, he can be a bit much sometimes. I'm always telling him off for being cheesy."

I laugh along with her.

"Don't worry! I think it's sweet. How long have you been together?"

"Two years." Marley answers me with a beam.

"Two years, one month, three days and fifty three minutes actually."

I laugh as Jake drapes his arm across Marleys shoulders. She rolls her eyes at him affectionately.

"Anyone sitting here?"

I look up to see a tall guy with floppy blonde hair pointing at the chair on the other side of me. I shake my head and indicate he should sit down.

"Wow this is weird. Been trying to find my way round this place all day, everyone seems to know everyone."

"I know the feeling, it's kind of daunting isn't it?"

He smiles at me, he had massive lips.

"Sure is. I'm Sam Evans. You are Rachel, I just heard… I have been there for a while."

I laugh as he shakes hands with Jake and Marley.

"You should have said something before, I don't bite you know!"

"I know, sorry. I was just trying to decide if you three were all here together, then when I heard you introduce yourself I realised you were by yourself as well so thought I would sit with you."

I smile in sympathy, he seemed as nervous about making friends as I was. It was stupid, we were all acting like five year olds.

"I only really know my roommate Brittany so far, but we only have one class together. There are a few other faces I have met throughout the day, but I don't really know them."

"Well you are doing better than me, I only knew the caretaker before starting here, and unfortunately, we don't get to speak during the school day so that is no help at all."

I try to hide my surprise.

"You know Blaine?"

He nods, looking at me in puzzlement, I am just about to ask more questions when the teacher walks in.

"Hello guys and girls. I am Mr Schuester, your teacher for the next year at least. What better way to get to know everyone than through a song? I am going to pick you at random and I want you to come up and sing a song that you think showcases your talent. Erm….." He looks around the room for his first reluctant victim. Obviously we were all here to sing, but nobody wanted to be the first up. Except me. I lived for singing. I shot my hand up. Mr Schuester smiled at me gratefully for volunteering. "Yes, you. Come and stand near the piano please and introduce yourself."

I walked up, not feeling the slightest bit nervous.

"I'm Rachel Berry and I will be singing To Love You More by one of my idols, Celine Dion."

I nodded at the piano player who started up the music. I belted the song I knew by heart out loud. I forgot there was a whole class watching me as I got lost in the music. It was only when I saw twenty five students and Mr Schu applauding me with their mouths open at the end that I remembered they were there.

I sat back down. Sam was still staring at me in shock.

"Wow. Your voice is insane."

I smile my thanks at him.

"Well class, that is going to be a tough act to follow. Thanks Rachel, what a great way to kick off the year."

He picked a random girl from the back of the class to go next.

When it was Sams turn, I watched with interest as he declined the piano and grabbed a nearby guitar and started playing it himself. He sung Billionaire and he had a very good voice. When he sit back down, I high-fived him.

"Nice one Mr Evans!"

He looked embarrassed at my praise.

When Mr schu picked Marley, she sweetly asked if her and Jake could do a duet. He agreed on the grounds that class was nearly over and that having a couple in the class was unusual. Everyone fell silent as they sung Christina Perri's A Thousand Years. It was gorgeous and you could see by the way they never broke eye contact that they were madly in love.

Just before the bell went, Mr schu cleared his throat to speak to the class.

"Guys, that was a fantastic lesson. I am really excited to work with you all. There is some amazing talent in this room. " I couldn't help but feel a little smug as he looked at me when he said this. "I wanted to let you all know about Glee club. Just three classes down from here is the choir room, where Glee club will be taking place twice a week. I have run it for the last ten years, but due to my wife Emma being heavily pregnant, I passed the duties on to someone else. It actually starts today, and even though I no longer teach it, It would mean the world to me if some of you showed up there to try it out. You don't have to carry it on if you don't like it, but give it a go, please."

The bell rang out loudly and everyone scraped their chairs back and darted out the classroom. I looked at Sam.

"Are you giving Glee club a try?"

He nodded , looking at Jake and Marley.

"You guys in?"

They both said yes. I rang Britt, remembering I was supposed to walk home with her.

"Hey! Listen, There is this Glee club thing I'm now going to check out. You wanna come along? It is just a few doors down from the singing classes."

She hesitated on the phone.

"I don't know Rach… I'm not really good at stuff like that."

I scoffed.

"That is a lie Brittany S Pearce, I heard you singing in the shower this morning and you were fab. Come along, you don't have to go to anymore after this, just check out the first one with me. Please?"

"You really think I sounded good?"

"Yes." I meant it, she had sounded good. I squeal with delight as she agrees to meet me at the class in five minutes. Sam, Marley and Jake are all looking at me in confusion.

"It's my roommate, she's agreed to come check out Glee club with us."

We walk to the classroom and as soon as I see Britt , I give her a hug. I had missed her this afternoon, she already felt like my best friend. I look in surprise as I see Santana trailing behind her.

"She wanted to come check it out, hope you don't mind."

I giggle, as I say quietly in her ear "More like she wanted to come check you out. She can't take her eyes off you."

She pushed me gently, telling me to shut up. I introduced Brittany and Santana to Sam, Marley and Jacob, then we all went and sat in the choir room. There were only around twelve of us all together, and only four of us from the singing class. I felt sorry for Mr Shcu about this, Glee club obviously had meant a lot to him. I decided I would try and recruit more members during the next week.

Our little group of six were chatting excitedly , when Britt nudged me hard in the ribs. I looked at her in annoyance.

"Ow, what was that for?"

She points to the front of the class room, where Blaine Anderson was stood. In a far cry from his dirty work outfit earlier, he was wearing smart black trousers and shoes, with a crisp blue shirt and a white bow tie. He looked divine. Sam rushed over to Blaine, slapping him on the back in greeting. I walked up behind Sam, furious at the situation.

"Sam, how you doing?! I didn't know you were gonna try out Glee club!"

Blaine grinned at him happily.

"Well when I heard rumours this morning of who had taken over, I had to come check it out didn't I! Can't believe you landed this gig. Nice one bro."

I can't stop the anger rising inside me.

"Wait. Tell me this is some kind of a joke, please tell me you are not teaching Glee club?"

Sam looks bewildered while Blaine looks sheepish. Good. I hoped he felt guilty about insulting me earlier.

"It's no joke Rachel. I will be teaching Glee club this year and if that's a problem for you then, well… you know where the door is."

Sam looks from me to Blaine, the confusion on his face deepening. I stare at Blaine, my heart still doing the annoying somersaults that seemed to keep happening whenever I was near him. I couldn't deal with him teaching the Glee club. Not after the way he had spoken to me earlier.

"Fine. I'm out."

I don't look back as I walk out of the choir room.


	3. Chapter 3

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 3

I strut down the corridor furiously. I had loved my Glee club at high school, And when Mr Schuester mentioned this one, I was excited for it. I had no idea what the problem even was, after all, I had only been nice to Blaine really. OK , apart from the first time we met and I got in a sulk about him not letting us explore the building, but other than that, I had been nice.

As I reach the end of the corridor, I hear his voice calling me again, just like he had done earlier after he upset me. I carry on walking, turning the corner. To my surprise, he catches up with me, grabbing my arm and pulling me to the side.

"Rachel, don't leave, come back to Glee club."

It was hard to concentrate with him looking so smart and sexy, but I stared at a picture on the wall to avoid looking into his eyes. Those eyes were like magic.

"What, so you can insult the clothes I wear again? Or call me rich and spoilt? Or tell me that I have my head stuck up my ass? I don't think so Blaine. I wanted to join Glee club to have fun, not to be insulted by you."

I try to shake his hand off my arm, but he keeps his tight grip on me, his eyes boring into me even though I am still not looking at him.

"I'm sorry. I am sorry for earlier, and I am sorry I just told you to go. Please, come back."

I stubbornly shake my head.

"No."

He walks round to stand directly in front of me, I turn my head away. He places his hands on my cheeks, turning my head, forcing me to look at him.

"Listen to me Rachel. I was rude to you earlier, and that is unforgivable. My pride was wounded after that bitchy blonde cheerleader insulted me. I was embarrassed because it was….. it was in front of you."

I grab his hands, taking them away from my face.

"So you decided to insult me because your pride was hurt? It's not very gentlemanly of you."

"No. It wasn't like that. If things had gone better, what I was meant to say was…. You don't dress like the other students here…."

I roll my eyes, folding my arms across my chest and turn my face away from him again.

"You are fucking hot."

His words take me so much by surprise that I laugh out loud, looking at him as if he were mental.

"Excuse me?"

"You are hot. I love the way you dress. You looked beautiful yesterday, you look even more beautiful today, that's what I wanted to tell you earlier. I didn't mean for it to come out so insulting, but then when I realised I had messed up what I was trying to say and you were angry, I carried on with the insults."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, that is certainly not the vibe I got from you. You don't explain things to well."

He laughs, his nose crinkling as he looks at me.

"You didn't give me the chance to explain. I know you are not like them Rachel. I was shocked that you were hanging out with people like that, it took me by surprise and I went about things the wrong way."

I sigh.

"They aren't all bad you know Blaine. Don't tar everyone with the same brush. Britt is wonderful and Tina seems sweet. I'm not sure on Santana yet and Kitty, the girl who was rude to you… is a bitch. But not everyone is like that."

He looks at his shoes, that sheepish look crossing his face again.

"I know. It's just… Ever since I started here three years ago I have had shit from students that think they are better than me. And today, I took my frustrations out on you. And I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I have to go back to Glee club. I don't want to get sacked on my first session! Please come back?"

His eyes look up a me, huge and pleading. I smile at him.

"Fine. Let's go. But any more insults and I'm…."

"That won't be a problem."

We walk back to the choir room, everyone staring at us as we go back in. Britt's eyes were full of unanswered questions. I took a seat next to her, not looking at her.

Blaine claps his hands at the front of the room to get everyone's attention.

"Right. Sorry for the delay. Thank you for all showing up, it's great to see so many faces. It would be nice to see more over the next few weeks so if you could spread the word, that would be great. Everyone in this room will be in training for competitions, regional's, sectional's, nationals and so on. We will need to practice hard and if anyone is going to be half hearted about it, they can exit right now."

He looks around at the class nervously. Only one hand is raised. It was Santana's.

He nods at her, indicating she should speak.

"I don't mean to sound like a total bitch, but I don't want to be committed to something that probably isn't going to work anyway. I mean, aren't you the cleaner or caretaker or something? What do you know about teaching a Glee club?"

The class starts muttering amongst themselves, most of them murmuring in agreement.

"You make a fair point. Name please?"

Blaine walks to the piano, taking a seat in front of the keys.

"Santana."

"Well Santana, I believe that actions speak louder than words, and I am going to prove to you that I am capable of running this club and that I will take you to the top."

I sit up straighter in anticipation as he starts playing the piano. He launches into a version of Queen , Don't Stop Me Now. It was brilliant, he put energy into it, even kicking the piano stool over half way through. He had a huge smile on his face as he belted out the notes. He was a performer all right. I had no doubt after watching him sing that he would help us win these competitions.

Once the song was over, he went back to the front of the class, looking at Santana again.

"I've shown my balls, now let's see yours Santana, a song of your choice, I'll play for you."

She looked nervously at Britt as she walked to the piano, muttering something to Blaine who nodded and started playing.

Britt stuck her thumb up as Santana launched into a beautiful version of Songbird. The girl could sing. I felt a bit like a third wheel sitting next to Britt as Santana never took her eyes of her for a moment of the song. She received a huge round of applause for the effort.

"Wow Santana, with people like you in my Glee club, I have no doubt we are going to make it. Good job. Who's next?"

Sam cleared his throat and raised his hand, it made me laugh how we were all raising our hands as if we were in pre school.

"Uh, I just sat through singing class and I think you would be interested to hear a song from Rachel."

I shoot Sam a warning look.

Blaine looks at me , waiting for me to respond. For some reason, I felt nervous to sing in front of him. I was lacking confidence. He had the ability to put my mind in a fog.

"Thanks for that Sam, but it's fine, someone else can have a go."

"No, Rachel … you have to go next. You have the best voice I have heard. You were amazing in singing class, you killed it."

I smile my thanks at Marley as Jake joins in.

"She's right Rachel, you have to sing next."

Blaine chuckles from the front of the class.

"Well, looks like you have been summoned Rachel. Come on up here."

I walk nervously to Blaine, his eyes never moving from me.

"Don't be nervous, what song do you want to do?"

I open my mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. I had to pull myself together, I was being ridiculous. I lived for singing and I was damned if I was going to let a guy put me off my stride.

"Don't Rain On My Parade."

He doesn't look convinced by my choice.

"Impressive, you sure you wanna start off with a song that big?"

I scoff just as Sam calls out.

"Trust me Blaine, after what we heard in class, she can do it. Easy."

I smile at him gratefully as Blaine shrugs and yet again starts tinkling the keys. I take a deep breath and start belting out the song I had known off by heart since I was three. Every time I sang, I was transported into another world. I forgot I was singing for people, so by the time the song had finished and I heard loud applause, I had to remember where I was.

I scuttled back to my seat, people around me still clapping.

"You are incredible Rach."

Britt hugs me, I return the hug warmly, she was a sweetie.

I wait for Blaine to say something , but instead, he avoids looking at me.

"Right, who's next? Sam, how about you?"

Sam nods, shooting me a puzzled look. I was a little put out at Blaine's lack of praise for me after he had praised Santana.

To the clubs delight, Sam asked Blaine to do a duet with him. We whooped as they sung Heroes, it was brilliant, their voices worked really well together. Before we knew it, the class was over.

"Will you all be coming to the next one?"

Blaine calls out as chairs scrape across the floor. We all shout yes in unison, he beams at the class as they walk out. Me, Britt and Santana are the last ones to leave, and just as we are about to exit , Blaine asks to speak to me.

"We will wait for you in the parking lot." Britt says, before walking off with Santana.

I hover by the door , waiting for Blaine to speak.

"You don't have to hang out by the door Rachel, I'm not going to insult you again, or…. Jump you."

His eyes twinkle at the last words, making me blush. I walk over to the whiteboard where he is standing, and I still don't say a word.

"I uh… I don't know how to comment on the song. You were fantastic. I was lost for words."

I smile shyly at him.

"Is that what you wanted to speak to me about? You couldn't say that in front of the others?"

He shakes his head, then picks up the board rubber, rubbing out the words vigorously. It seemed like he was just trying to distract himself from looking at me.

"You have to go out with me."

I gasp. I was not expecting that.

"What?"

He puts the board rubber down, spinning round to look at me.

"Please. Go out with me. Tomorrow night?"

I start fiddling with my skirt, too nervous to look at him now.

"Is that even allowed?"

He closes the gap between us, grabbing my hands, forcing me to look up at him.

"Of course. Glee club isn't an actual lesson, which makes me not an actual teacher. We wouldn't be breaking any rules."

I shake my head, my eyes darting around the class room, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"I don't know Blaine, I'm not sure it's a good idea."

He sighs, squeezing my hands gently.

"You are driving me insane. I couldn't stop thinking about you yesterday after we met. And when we touched, that … well…. It was….. " He stops, trying to find the words. "I know you felt it too. It has to mean something. And then today, When I saw you sitting at the lunch table, you looked so beautiful, then I messed up, and now… well I don't know Rachel. We have to give this a try because there is something here. I'm not focusing on anything properly. I couldn't even give you a comment after your song because you made me speechless. Go out with me."

I stare into his nervous hazel eyes, and feel myself melt.

"OK. Tomorrow night?"

He nods.

Where abouts are you and Britt living? I will come pick you up."

I rattle off the address to him and he starts laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just seem to remember you telling me you lived _miles _off camp . You know, when I said I couldn't let you in the building and you pulled at my heart strings by telling me how far you had come? The address you just gave me… well, correct me if I am wrong , but that is actually on campus."

I try to stop the guilt cross my face as he smiles down at me.

"Sorry. We just really wanted to tour the building."

He chuckles again.

"Don't worry about it beautiful. So tomorrow, 7:30…. I'll be waiting outside for you."

I grin back at him, taking my hands away from his as I start backing out of the classroom.

"I'll be seeing you."

Just before I turn , I see the look of shock on his face as I repeat the words he said to me yesterday.

I practically skip to the parking lot.

"We were about to leave without you dwarf, it's turning cold out here now."

I roll my eyes at Santana for calling me dwarf again.

"Come on then roomie, give us the goss."

Britt links her arm with mine causing Santana to glare at us. Britt realised and linked Santana's with her free arm. She was rewarded by a dazzling smile. We set off back to our rooms.

"There is no goss."

"Oh come off it dwarf. The whole Glee club could practically smell the chemistry bouncing off you and the caretaker, and then there was that whole thing at lunch. You tipped a drink over Kittys head because she insulted him and you are pretending like there is nothing to tell. Come on, spill it."

"Fine." I say , before Santana can continue her rant. "He asked me out. Tomorrow night. There. Now you know."

Brittany squeals with delight.

"Oh my god Rach! This is amazing ! Our first day at school and you get asked out. You are NYADAS most popular girl already." I smile at her words. If only that were true. "Please tell me you said yes. I could tell he liked you yesterday. He couldn't take his eyes off you when he was showing us round."

I giggle coyly.

"I said yes. He seems…. He is sweet. It will be fun."

We walk in silence for a bit, before I realise Santana is still with us.

"Are you coming back to ours or something?" I ask, peering round Brittany to look at her.

She let's go of Britts arm, smiling at both of us.

"Nope, this is where I turn off actually." She points down a road lined with trees.

"Erm… seeing as this is a day for uh…. Saying yes. I was wondering if erm…. Well, the thing is… Brittany S Pearce…. Would you, Well, I don't know if you would…."

"Oh for gods sake Britt, put her out of her misery."

Brittany grins at both of us, then wraps Santana in a hug.

"Yes Santana, I will go on a date with you. Pick me up tomorrow night, around 7. See you at school."

Santana doesn't say anything as she turns down her road, walking away from us. We laugh as she punches the air with glee.

"Looks like you just made someone very happy."

She giggles as we continue on our way to the dorm rooms.

"Looks like we both made people happy today."

I agree with her, grinning like an idiot.

If every day at NYADA was like today, then I knew it was going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 4

The next morning, I jump out of bed, just like I had the day before. I couldn't wait to get back to NYADA. I looked at Britt enviously as she strode out in her cheer outfit. It must be so easy not having to decide what to wear every day.

I settled on my red and white checked jumper, with a black pleated skirt and white tights, I didn't want to wear anything too dorkish after the comments Blaine had made yesterday. I know he said that I looked beautiful, but his words had played on my mind.

We walked to Uni after wolfing some breakfast down. I hugged Britt goodbye, my first class was singing again and I wouldn't be seeing her until lunchtime.  
I sat in the same seat I had yesterday, smiling as Marley and Jake walked in.

"How are you two lovebirds today?"

They chuckle, looking at each other with sick making sweetness.

"We are fine. How are you? We still can't get over your insane voice, you killed it in here and in Glee club yesterday!"

I beam at them, I could tell we were all going to get on throughout the year.

"I'm great thanks, and thank you guys, that means a lot. You two are amazing singers as well."

"Aw thanks! I have a weird feeling about the new Glee club teacher though, I wish it was Mr Schu still, at least we would be certain of a victory if he was still doing it."

Just as I am about to answer Marley, Sam who had just walked in, sitting beside me, interrupts.

"Come on Marley, that's not fair. You have to give Blaine a chance. Did you not see how talented he was yesterday? Don't write him off after the first lesson."

Jake, ever the protective boyfriend, spoke up.

"She didn't mean it in a nasty way dude, it's just.. well he doesn't seem to have any experience. We can't help feeling short-changed at the fact Mr Schu isn't doing the Glee club. We had heard amazing things about him ."

Sam slouches back in his chair, not looking at any of us.

"And I can't help feeling disappointed that you have so little faith in the new Glee teacher. Like I said, give him a chance."

I smile at Sam, pleased that he felt so strong about this. I would have said the same thing to them had Sam not have done it for me.

"What's the deal with you and Blaine anyway? You told me yesterday you knew him?"

He looks at me now, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile.

"I've known him since I was born. He's like a big brother to me. We grew up on the same street. He is an awesome guy."

I nod, I had to agree.

We stop the chatter as Mr Schu walks in. He thanks Sam, Marley , Jake and I for turning up at Glee club yesterday, Blaine had informed him of who showed up. He asked the other students if they would reconsider going, then gave the same talk Sam just had about how we had to give Blaine a chance.

Lunchtime soon came round. I looked at Sam , Marley and Jake, the thought of sitting at a table purely made up of cheerleaders again filled me with dread.

"You guys wanna come sit with me at lunch? And Britt and Santana from Glee club? It would be good to have some company. I don't really fit in with the cheerleading crowd."

They all agree and I happily walk with them to the cafeteria.

When we all have our lunch on our trays, we sit at the same table as yesterday. Britt and I fill each other in on our mornings. I raise an eyebrow at Britt as Kitty strides over, taking a seat next to me.

"Didn't you get the message yesterday Kitty? Nobody likes an ass hole."

She pretends to yawn at my words, the looks at me with her piercing eyes.

"Believe it or not Berry, you earned my respect for your whole chucking a drink over my head routine."

Sam , who was sitting on the other side to me, mutters a surprised 'what'?

Kitty carries on.

"You showed you had oomph. Humiliating the most popular girl in school and not giving a shit takes guts. So yes, I respect you. Just don't do it again, or I won't be so nice next time. Got it?"

I nod. I was baffled by her reaction, but I hadn't come to NYADA to start arguments, so having Kitty on side was probably a good thing.

"Got it. Just don't be so rude to people who have done you no harm, and you will be safe from drink explosions."

She rolls her eyes, turning away from me to talk to Tina. I fill Sam in on what had happened yesterday.

He roared with laughter.

"Wait, you chucked a drink over her head because she was rude to Blaine?! That is awesome!"

He high fived me, he seemed to like high fiving people.

"I hope he appreciated you risking your reputation for him."

He was still laughing, shaking his head at the craziness of it all.

"I had no reputation to risk Sam. And actually, no… at first , he insulted me."

He chokes on the drink he is sipping.

"What? That doesn't sound like Blaine."

"I knew my ears were burning. What doesn't sound like me?"

I look up at Blaine, who was standing at the other end of the table with his broom, opposite to me , Sam and Kitty. He winks at me in greeting, causing my insides to turn to mush.

"Rachel was just telling me about how she came to your rescue from the evil claws of Kitty the terrifying kitty Kat."

Blaine and Kitty both frown at the same time.

"I didn't need rescuing."

"And I prefer being called a tiger. Because I will scratch you all to pieces if any of you cause me trouble."

We all ignore Kitty.

"I didn't say you needed rescuing. I was just saying about how rude some people can be."

Kitty does a dramatic sigh.

"Didn't we just go through this Berry, get over it."

"I wasn't talking about you actually."

I stare at Blaine pointedly.

His mouth falls open.

"Me? What have I done?"

"You insulted her apparently." Sam is barely audible as he chomps on his food.

Blaine starts sweeping the floor even though there is nothing to be swept.

"I said I was sorry about that. You don't have to tell everyone about it, making me out to look like a jerk."

I shrugged, bewildered at the fuss everyone seems to be making.

"Sam asked, so I told. It's not a big deal."

Kitty chucks her empty water bottle on the floor, he glares at her.

"Isn't it your job to clean up my shit?"

I elbow her hard in the ribs.

"Stop it. Or you will get another drink thrown over you."

To my surprise, Blaine throws his broom down in anger, he looked at me, annoyed.

"You stop it Rachel. I don't need you to protect me."

I gasp, while Sam stands and picks the broom up, handing it back to Blaine.

"Chill out bro. It's about time people like Kitty were put in their place. Don't let a stupid thing like this dent your ego."

He snatched the broom from Sam and kicked Kitty's water bottle across the floor before walking out. For the second day in a row, I found myself running out of the cafeteria after him.

I yank him by the arm, pulling him into the nearest empty classroom.

"What is your problem?"

He crosses his arms over his chest, his face giving nothing away. When he doesn't answer, I sit down on the desk, swinging my legs like a child. Two can play at this game. I hummed a tune, waiting for him to say something.

"Rachel, let's not do this here."

"Do what?"

"Play silly little games."

I scoff.

"I wasn't aware we were playing games. All I know is that you've known me for five minutes, and spent four of those minutes snapping at me or insulting me. So I will ask again. What is your problem?"

He unfolds his arms letting them fall by his sides, then he picks up a pen from the desk and starts fiddling with it. He was always fidgeting.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh , wait, I got it wrong. Three minutes biting my head off, one minute saying sorry, and one minute being a relatively normal person."

"I don't know what has gotten in to me. I'm sorry."

I stand up, walking close to him, I want to touch him, but I think better of it.

"Stop saying sorry. Listen, obviously, there is something going on, I don't know what, but you seem edgy and irritated with me. So , let's forget about tonight."

His eyes flicker, he looks disappointed.

"I don't want to forget about tonight."

"Well you clearly don't want to go out with me Blaine, you keep getting angry at me. And to be quite honest, I think you are sweet, and you are so hot, but the thought of going on a date with someone who's going to keep snapping at me…."

I gasp as he pulls me to him and kisses me. His red lips are soft as they crush in to mine. It's a gentle kiss at first, I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him back, deeper. I had no clue how many minutes passed while we kissed, but I did know that it was the best kiss I had ever had. It was the same as when we touched the first day we met, when sparks literally flew, it was like that kissing him but multiplied by a million. It was like there was an electrical undercurrent pulling us in to each other. I couldn't explain it. I was dizzy and overwhelmed as he drew back, his strong hands cupping my face.

"You were saying?"

His eyes twinkle as I try to catch my breath and make my heart beat return to normal.

"I can't remember." My voice is barely a whisper.

He chuckles gently.

"It was something about me being hot. We can go from there."

I laugh, playfully pushing him away.

"I will pick you up tonight just like we said. 7:30 . No arguments. See you later beautiful."

He walks out, leaving me staring after him in a daze. I hear a distant bell, and realise with a jolt it is time for the afternoon to begin. Dance class passed with no drama. I had a cow for a teacher, Cassandra, but she knew what she was doing so I enjoyed learning from her. I also had Tina and Marley in the class with me so it wasn't all bad.

I met Brittany at the parking lot after school. She linked my arm like always as we started walking home.

"No Santana joining us for the walk home then?"

The look of lust crosses her face at the mention of Santana. I tried not to laugh at her expression.

"Nope, she left school early to prepare for our date tonight."

I raise an eyebrow, looking at her in question.

"What? She left school early to prepare for a date?! It's our second day! She will get in trouble!"

Britt chuckled.

"I know. That's what I told her but she wouldn't listen. I'm so excited about tonight though! You must be my lucky charm Rachel Berry, who would have thought, both of us bagging dates so quick with the two hottest people at that school."

I laugh.

"Blaine isn't exactly 'at the school' though, but yes, you are right!"

"Of course he is 'at the school'. He's the caretaker and Glee teacher. He is more 'at the school' than anyone! Anyway missy, you have to fill me in on todays gossip. Don't think I didn't notice you chasing after him for the second day in a row and not coming back. What happened?"

I can't help but smile at the memory of earlier, the feel of his lips on mine, the look in his eyes just after he kissed me…

"Nothing happened. We just had a chat."

"Oh pull the other one. Look at your face! Come on, spill."

I sigh, realising she is not going to give in.

"Fine. We uh…. He …. He kissed me."

She makes a squeal of delight and jumps in the air.

"He kissed you?! Wow, he must be keen. You just full on kissed in the corridor? What was it like? Is he good?."

I giggle , my cheeks turning pink.

"What is this? 101 questions. Yes he kissed me, No it wasn't in the corridor, it was an empty classroom , it was magical, and yes… he was good. He was amazing."

"An empty classroom? Are you sure you only kissed? Wow, Rachel Berry, getting down and dirty at NYADA on her second day. I will have to keep an eye on you."

I laugh again, then become serious.

"Speaking of 'keeping an eye out' …. Be careful tonight Brittany. I , I don't want to upset you but… be careful with Santana. I'm still not sure on her."

She squeezes my arm as we begin to climb the five sets of stairs to our room.

"Chill out roomie. You have only known her two days, it's fine. She seems nice. What's the worst that could happen?"

I can't answer that. I didn't know why, I just had the feeling Britt was going to get hurt. Although I could hardly talk, I was going on a date with a guy that had spent the last few days giving me mixed signals.

"Where is Santana taking you?"

She shrugs.

"Where is Blaine taking you?"

I shake my head.

"No idea. I didn't know if we should grab some food before the date or something."

She rubs her belly.

"Are you kidding? Of course I am getting some food before the date, I am starving."

"But what If Santana is taking you to some slap up three course meal or something?"

She grins as she unlocks our room, chucking her bag down near the door. I follow suit.

"Then I get lots of food tonight which makes me a happy girl."

I look at her in amazement.

"How do you stay that skinny?!"

She shrugs again and starts making herself a sandwich.

A few hours later , I am turning my wardrobe inside out in search of something to wear when Britt walks in to my room.

"Wow. You look incredible Brittany S Pearce! Santana isn't going to know what hit her."

I had only seen her in her PJ's or her cheerios outfit with her hair in a high pony. Tonight, she had a baby pink skater dress on, her blonde locks flowing over her shoulders. She done a little twirl.

"Thanks. I would say you look good too but I hope you aren't going to be wearing that towel."

I roll my eyes at her, throwing my clothes back into the wardrobe in frustration.

"I have nothing to wear. Ah this is so stressful."

She walks over to the wardrobe and starts pulling all the clothes out again one by one.

"You told me he said you looked beautiful in the clothes you wear right?"

I nod.

"But those are my daily uni clothes. I have nothing to wear for a date."

"Calm down. If he said you look beautiful in what you usually wear, which you do by the way, then I think …. This"

She pulls out the one plain black dress I own.

"And this, we still want you to be you, it's why he likes you."

She pulls out my mustard cardigan with little bows all over it. I smile at her, the outfit was perfect.

She helped me put my hair up in a bun. I applied a coating of mascara and a bit of lipgloss, and I was done. I checked my reflection, not fully satisfied with what I saw in the mirror , but Britt was right…. This was who I am and I couldn't and didn't want to change that.

Seven o clock rolled around and I said bye to Brittany as she ran out excitedly for her date when she heard Santana's car beep. She was out of my hands now and I had to worry about her another time, but I knew that if Santana hurt her, then I would hurt her back.

As the seconds dragged by, My stomach was doing somersaults and my palms were sweaty. I was so nervous. I hadn't dated anyone since high school and I didn't know if I was cut out for this.

At exactly 7:30, the buzzer for our room went. I took a deep breath and started heading downstairs.

This was it.


	5. Chapter 5

**New York State Of Mind**

**Chapter 5**

My breath caught as I left the grey building and walked out into the chilly night air. Blaine was leaning against a lamp-post looking sexy as ever, a half-smile on his face.  
He was wearing casual jeans and a white v neck t-shirt. His usually slicked back hair was curly, soft, and flopping over his forehead slightly. It made me want to run my hands through it. He looked hot as hell.  
As I walked over to him, he straightened up , looking me up and down then making me blush by wolf whistling.

"You look beautiful Rachel."

I smile gratefully.

"You look rather dashing yourself."

He grins at that, touching his hair.

"You like it?" He asks, his huge eyes glowing under the lampposts glare.

"I love it."

He plants a quick kiss on my cheek , then grabs my hand and starts walking down the street.

"Where are we going?"

He looks at me cheekily.

"If I told you, I would have to kill you. And as I asked you on this date, that would be a bit pointless so…"

I laugh, loving the warmth of his hand in mine.

"It's just when you said you will pick me up, I was expecting a car or something."

"We don't need a car for what we are doing."

I raise an eyebrow at him in question.

"And what are we doing exactly?"

"I just said, I can't tell you."

"No, you said you can't tell me where we are going, not what we are doing."

He rolls his eyes in an affectionate way.

"Aren't you the smart one. Have you never heard of a surprise?"

"Sure. But have you ever heard of people who don't like surprises?"

He chuckles at that, shaking his head.

"Just relax. I'm not going to kidnap you and keep you hidden away forever. Although that is a tempting thought..."

I laugh again at his words.  
My laughter turns into confusion as we walk towards the NYADA building.  
We walk past the entrance to the building and around the side til we reach the cheerleading grounds. We carried on down past the football fields , until eventually, we stopped outside a hut. It reminded me of the hut Hagrid had in the Harry Potter films.  
He climbs up the three rickety wooden steps, and unlocks the door, opening it wide. He gestures for me to go in first. I do as he asks and my jaw drops in amazement.

"Blaine…. This is – I can't…. wow."

He comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my neck softly. I lean back into him, feeling protected, as I gaze around the hut in wonder,  
It had a huge log fire burning on one side, and there was an inviting cream fluffy rug with wine and glasses nearby. Everywhere had been scattered with rose petals, like somebody would do on a five year anniversary rather than a first date , and there was soft music tinkling from a vintage record player. On the worn but comfortable looking sofa was a huge teddy bear and box of chocolates, and the light in the hut was dimmed, casting a romantic glow over the whole place. If I didn't know we were in the NYADA grounds, I would have thought we were in a log cabin somewhere exotic.  
I turn to him, reaching up, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"This is gorgeous. Thank you."

I pull him to me, my heart racing at the thought of making the first move. He grips me around the waist, holding me close to him. I could feel his warm breath on my face as he stares at me with those intense eyes. I had been thinking about his incredible eyes since the moment I saw him, but it was only now I noticed the flecks of gold in them. They were green, brown and gold, and shining with affection.  
Just when I thought I couldn't bear not kissing him any longer, his lips dart to my mouth. He tasted faintly of peppermint as I kissed him. Sparks shot through my body. It was as magical as yesterday, probably even more so. Things were way too steamy and it was only the start of the date, I break away, my breathing heavy.  
He smirks, he knew exactly why I broke away and he was loving every second of it.

"Can I offer you a glass of wine ? Or perhaps… a cold shower?"

I hit him on the arm playfully, my cheeks turning red. He grins as I sit on the cream rug, waiting for him to join me.  
He sits beside me, our legs touching as he pours the wine.

"Thanks" I smile as I take a sip of the wine he just handed me. Then I shuffle over, so we are no longer touching. He pouts, turning his huge puppy dog eyes on me.

"Don't play dirty Rachel. You can't sit away from me. Talk about unfair."

"I can't sit too near you Blaine. The animal attraction is too raw, If we sit too close, I won't be able to control myself and I will need that cold shower after all."

I said it in what I thought was a joking way, until I realised he was staring at me with that look again. The intense, lustful look I already had become used to. I gasp as he grabs my hands, and pulls me to the floor with him, kissing me again. I was one step away from straddling him and jumping his bones when a knock on the door made us jump.  
He sighs dramatically as he stands up.

"Just when I thought I was about to have my wicked way with you."

I watch as he opens the door to a Pizza delivery guy, pays him, then comes and sits back beside me.

"I'm just going to be honest here, I can't cook. Like, I am seriously bad at it. So… I ordered take out. And if you don't want it, we can just skip straight to the desert."

His eyes linger on me as he said the word desert. He sounded sultry and sexy. He was driving me crazy and I had only been here ten minutes.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I love pizza."

I reach over him to the box , grabbing a slice. He shrugs his shoulders, grabbing a piece too. I watch as a string of cheese lands on his chin. He still managed to look adorable even making a mess. He wipes it off, grinning at me.

"I meant the chocolates Rachel. Don't go getting any ideas."

"Sure you did. But just so you don't get any ideas either, I don't usually have desert on a first date…."

"I can wait for desert. I would never pressure a girl to eat desert on a first date. I know how fussy they can be about their figures."

He looks me up and down appreciatively not for the first time that night.

"But you have no worries about that. Your figure looks delicious from where I am sitting."

I giggle while biting a huge bit of pizza.

"I'm not sure if we are talking about sex or desert right now, but thanks anyway."

He smiles wickedly, licking his lips from the pizza he has just had.

"Seriously, what do you take me for? We can talk about sex if you want though."

I look at him in mock horror.  
He holds his hands up in surrender.

"What? I said talk about it. Not do it. Although….."

"You are terrible!"

I laugh, shaking my head as I finish my slice of pizza. As soon as I am done, he grabs me again, making me lay with him. We kiss for a while. My whole body felt like it was on fire as I ran my hands over his T-shirt, feeling his abs through the thin material. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I definitely needed to cool off a bit, otherwise I would be breaking my rule of having desert on a first date. He was also feeling the same , he kept going to touch me, then deciding against it until he broke away.

"OK , OK , I'm stopping. You touching me like that doesn't help anything."

I feign innocence.

"I hardly touched you. I didn't do what I wanted to do."

He raises an eyebrow in question and I beckon for him to come back to me. When he is back , I kiss him again, running a hand through his curls. He moans as I kiss his jaw line, down to his neck. I run my hand down his t-shirt again, lifting the hem when I reach the bottom. I couldn't wait to see him topless. I lift the shirt higher, sprinkling him with kisses the whole, time, and just as I am about to take the shirt off him, he stands up, walking over to the other side of the hut.  
Now it is my turn to do the puppy dog eyes and pleading.  
His hair was all ruffled from where I had been touching it. I drink the rest of my wine, while still staring at him, trying to make him come and sit with me.

"Don't give me that look Rachel. You really aren't playing fair today. Jeez."

He breathed out hard, and started pacing up and down.

"You are enough to drive a guy insane."

I carry on pouting while helping myself to another glass of wine.

"Fine. If you don't want to touch me, I understand."

I try not to laugh at his face. He came back over, sitting down but not touching me.

"You are a bully. Now stop teasing me and eat more pizza."

I smile, grabbing another slice.

"So, are you going to tell me about this place then?"

He looks around the hut, smiling.

"It's a long story, but my Dad let's me rent this space because he is the head of NYADA"

I try not to choke on my pizza.

"What? You kept that one quiet!"

He nods.

"Yup. He's the one I had to phone the other day to inform him that two girls blackmailed me into opening up the building for them."

He grins at me. He looked devilishly handsome in the glow of the fire, he still looked pretty flushed from our steamy exchange earlier.

"Oh you poor thing. Being blackmailed by two girls, how terrible for you."

He fills his glass for the second time, taking a pause and sipping, before carrying on with the story.

"Yeah, he wanted me to be a student here, but I didn't want it. So we came to a compromise, I work here instead. Have done since I was eighteen. I do all the maintenance and odd jobs, he pays me, and I rent out this hut. It has everything I need it in it. I'm happy."

I couldn't be sure if I was imagining things, but he didn't sound happy when he said he was.

"Why didn't you want to be a student here?"

"Because I didn't want to become a pretentious , stuck up spoilt rich kid with dreams of being famous that will never come true. I would rather make a real living."

I look down at my legs, not knowing what to say to that. I start picking at the rug in the awkward silence. He sighs, putting his glass down on the floor. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't look at him.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean you."

"Of course you did. My parents are wealthy, they worked hard for their money and wanted me to have the best education. And I do have dreams of being famous. I'm sorry that rubs you up the wrong way but…."

I go silent, not knowing how to finish.

"Rachel, I've been here for three years now and I have never met a student like you. You are not stuck up your own ass like most of them and anyway, you are different. You will be a star."

This makes me look up at him.

"But you just said those dreams never come true. Why am I any different?"

He scoffs.

"Oh come on. Let's not pretend about this. We all heard you in Glee club yesterday. You blew everyone away, and what's more, you know you did. But not in a big headed way. I have never come across anyone like you, you seem so sure of yourself when you sing, and you have every right to be. You will reach your dreams. You know it, I know it, heck … the whole of NYADA knows it and you have only been here two days."

I can't help but smile at that.

"Thank you. But why are you so against it all? Are you forgetting that you sung in Glee club as well? You were amazing Blaine, you have the talent to make it as well, but you seem so… disheartened by it. It doesn't make sense."

"You and my Dad would get on, you sound just like him. I don't want it. I don't want any of it."

I frown at that, he wasn't making any sense.

"Then why do Glee club?"

"It's worthwhile. I like singing and performing, it doesn't mean I want to make a living out of it. And you have to keep it on the down low because I shouldn't be getting paid for it as I'm not an actual teacher, but my Dad is paying me a bit extra to do it every week."

I stand up, smoothing my dress out, wrapping my cardigan around me.

"I don't believe you. You do want it, I can tell. I will find out one day you know, the truth always comes out in the end."

He stands up with me, taking my hands in his, looking into my eyes.

"Believe what you want, but it's the truth. Some people want it, some people don't. And I don't. But I know what I do want."

His eyes become heated as he steps towards me, closing the gap between us.  
He places a hand on my face, tilting my chin up so I am looking at him. Then he moves in for a kiss.  
The night carries on like this for the next hour or two. We repeat the pattern of drinking, eating, getting too carried away and then cooling down. In the end , it gets too much for both of us, So I suggest I should head home. He reluctantly agrees. We both know if I stay we will end up doing more than we should. We walk back to mine hand in hand , him carrying my giant teddy and me carrying the huge box of chocolates, chatting and laughing the whole way. When we arrive outside my building, he leans against the same lamp-post as earlier, a sexy grin across his face.

"Well Miss Berry, tonight has been….."

I nod in agreement , even though he hasn't finished the sentence I knew what he was trying to say. I smile shyly.

"Thanks for everything Blaine. It was great."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Great. I was at least hoping for perfect or something awesome like that."

I giggle, kissing him on the cheek.

"Tonight was perfect. I mean it. Thank you. So uh, let me know if you want to do it again sometime."

He cackled loudly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Oh wow, you are too funny. Are you kidding? We will be doing it again. Even if I have to steal you in the dead of the night, we will do it again."

He leans in for another lingering kiss, I break away after a couple of minutes, giving him a warning look. I knew that if we carried on I would end up inviting him upstairs. I sigh, wanting to carry on the night, but knowing that it had to end.

"So…" I start.

He kisses me on the top of my head sweetly.

"So….. I'll be seeing you"

I watch him walk away until he has disappeared out of view.

I run up the five flights of stairs, smiling dreamily, trying to recall every memory of the night. I float into the dorm rooms airily as I remember his lips on mine.  
My happiness is soon forgotten when I see Britt sitting on the couch, crying with her head in her hands.  
I rush over to her , putting my arm around her shoulders.

"Britt, honey, what's wrong?"

She looks up at me, mascara streaming down her face.

"You were right about Santana."

_**A/N- I love you too Avid Reader! Thanks for always supporting me, I appreciate it loads.**_

**Side note, please drop by and leave a review if you are reading :-D xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**New York State Of Mind**

**Chapter 6**

I make Brittany a cup of tea to calm her down so she can explain to me what happened tonight. I hand her a tissue to wipe her tears away and sit next to her on the couch, waiting for her to speak in her own time.

"Before you say anything , I know I shouldn't be crying over somebody I have known for two days. I mean, It's two days for goodness sake. But we were hanging out every minute and we were texting each other all last night, I was so excited for this date."

I think about the way I already felt about Blaine, he gave me butterflies just thinking about him and I had only known him a few days, I understood what she meant.

"You don't have to explain the way you feel Britt. I know, I get it. Just tell me what happened."

She sniffs, wiping a tear away , managing to smudge her already ruined make up across her face.

"When she picked me up earlier, everything was fine. She told me I looked amazing, and she… well, you should have seen her. She looked incredible Rach. Anyway, we drove to this restaurant, talking and laughing the whole way there. It was really posh and we were having a three course meal. She told me how happy she was that I agreed to go on the date. She told me that every time she looked at me , she got tingles and that she knew it was only a good thing. We had a beautiful starter and main, then we ordered a desert. We were both pretty full so we decided to share one. We were giggling like mad as she tried to feed me a bit of the ice-cream but it went over my face instead. She went to wipe it off with her hand, and just as I thought she was going to kiss me, the waitress who was serving the next table made like…. A gagging noise or something, and Santana stood up. I thought, I stupidly thought, that she was going to give the bitch of a waitress a piece of her mind, but she…. She….."

I rubbed her shoulder as her lips trembled and yet more tears fell.

"She threw her drink over my head and told me to get lost."

I gasped. I was not expecting that.

"What? You have got to be joking. Why did she do that?"

She sniffled again, taking a huge gulp of air, trying to get the words out before the sobbing started again.

"She said I had the wrong idea. She said that if I thought she was 'that way inclined' then I was mad. She shouted , the whole restaurant was staring when she told me that I was disgusting and she threw some money down on the table and walked out. I had to call a taxi home. I am so upset Rach, why would she do that to me? I thought…. I thought she was in to me."

I hugged her as she let more tears fall, my fury rising. When I saw Santana, she wouldn't know what hit her.

"It's OK Britt, it will be OK . Forget about her. She is mad to walk away from you."

"I can't forget about her. I have to see her every day and she humiliated me. And the horrible thing about it all is that even after tonight, I still like her. I'm such an idiot."

"Sssshhhh, no you are not. Drink your tea, things will be better in the morning. I promise."

We spent the next hour talking. I told her about the date with Blaine . It seemed like a distant memory now after Britt's horrible story. At first , I tried to leave out as much detail as possible, until a tear-stained Britt rolled her eyes and told me she wanted all the gossip. She said she could tell from my face it had went well, and that she wanted to hear it, it would make her feel better.

I felt bad telling her how wonderful everything had been when she had just been though such a bad experience, but it did seem to cheer her up.

The next morning when I woke, Britt was already up and showered, sipping on a coffee. She looked tired, she clearly hadn't had much sleep.

I showered and dressed. I went for casual today in black shorts and a plain red t-shirt. I threw my hair into a pony tail, not caring much what I looked like when Britt was so sad.

Luckily, we had acting class together first thing so she didn't have to be by herself. She acted out scenes with me again, April Rhodes, our acting teacher had said that she loved our partnership last time so she paired us up again. We were made to do comedy scenes, but you could tell it was the last thing Britt wanted to do.

At lunch, we grabbed some food and went to the table we had sat on the last two days. After five minutes, we were joined by Tina, Kitty , Sam, Marley and Jake.

I whispered to Tina, making sure Brittany didn't hear.

"Where is Santana?"

Tina looked at Britt, clearly realising it was something to do with her and replied with a low voice.

"Last time I checked, she was hanging around Coach Sylvesters office with a miserable look on her face. We didn't have cheer class this morning but we are in all the same classes and she wasn't there. But like I said, she is definitely at school because I saw her earlier. "

I nod, then stand up.

"Where are you going Rachel? Do we smell or something?"

Sam smiled up at me with a mouthful of sandwich.

"Yep, you do smell, but that's not why I'm going."

I grin at him, while Brittany frowns at me.

"SO where are you going then?"

"Just going to see if I can find Blaine. Back soon, don't eat my lunch."

I look at Sam as I say this, and the table starts laughing, while he feigns innocence.

Britt is still frowning.

"Why don't you just wait here? He usually turns up with his broom, staring at you all googly eyed while you eat your lunch."

"Yep, and then something you said offends him so he walks out in a strop and you run after him. That is our daily entertainment, don't spoil it by going to find him!"

I roll my eyes at Tina's words.

"I guess you will have to make your own entertainment today. See you in a bit."

I walk off before I change my mind, Brittany already seemed suspicious of my disappearing, and she would have good reason to be. I walked through the cheerleading grounds, the anger from seeing Brittany upset last night spurring me on.

I glare at the cheerleaders who were all looking at me like I had no right to be there. If I could take on Kitty, I could take on any of them.

I stomp through the corridor where the coach's office was situated, looking in every room. I found her sitting in an empty classroom opposite the office. She had her back to me as I walked in. I shut the door quietly.

"No wonder you felt the need to hide out. What you done last night was disgusting."

She jumps at my voice, turning to face me. It looked like she had been crying, but I didn't care about that.

"Get lost dwarf. Don't get involved in things you don't know."

I fold my arms across my chest, staring at her in disbelief.

"I do know about it though Santana. I know, because I was the one hugging her as she sobbed her heart out. How could you do that to her? You humiliated her."

She stares out the window and shrugs her shoulders. Her high pony wasn't as high today, and she looked just as tired as Brittany did.

"What's done is done. I can't change what happened."

I scoff.

"No, you can't change embarrassing her and hurting her feelings, but you can get your sorry ass in that cafeteria and apologise to her. She's a mess, because of you."

She looked guilty at that.

"I didn't mean to hurt her…. We have only known each other a couple of days, I didn't think she would be bothered."

I walk over , sitting on the table opposite.

"You would have to be either crazy or stupid to think that she would be OK with what you done. She likes… liked you Santana. And even if she didn't , you still made her the talking point of that restaurant, she was mortified. I warned her about you."

She looks at me now, her brown eyes full of anger.

"Do not come here lecturing me. You think you know what went down, but you really don't. You have no clue. And you are hardly one to take the moral high ground. Didn't you go on a date with Blaine last night? As in Blaine the caretaker?"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

She shrugs again, a grim smile appearing on her face.

"Ask him."

I frown.

"Ask him what?"

"Ask him why you have no right to come here shouting at me about hurting Brittany. Things never stay secret at this place for long."

My heartbeat speeds up. She was angry, and she was trying to turn it around on me.

"You are making no sense. Anyway, I have to go eat lunch with my friend. I have to go and hug her and tell her that everything is going to be OK and that she is not a bad person for liking girls. Because that is how you have made her feel , you should be ashamed of yourself."

I cast her a scathing look before heading for the door. Just as I reach it, I hear her voice.

"I did it because I like her. I'm scared."

I swing round to look at her, and notice a tear falling down her cheek.

"What?"

She looks at me, her eyes full of sorrow.

"I'm scared Rachel. Nobody knows that I- I…. nobody knows. I can't tell people. I'm not ready."

I walk back over, and to my astonishment as well as hers, grab her into a hug.

"Don't be scared. It will be OK . What would be the point in living your life as someone you're not? You have to tell people eventually. You can't keep it in forever."

She squeezes me back, crying into my shoulder.

"It will destroy my family. They are always going on about the day I bring home a nice man I can settle down with and marry. I think they know in a way, which is why they go on about me finding a man so much. It will kill them."

I rub her back, soothing her. It seemed it was all I had been doing since last night, soothing people.

"I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or worse, but I knew from the moment I met you. I guess the way you were undressing Britt with her eyes gave you away."

She laughs at that, wiping a tear away.

"What am I going to do? I have blown it with her. She will never forgive me."

"Let me have a word with her. She's not going to forget about what happened just like that, she told me she had never been more embarrassed or upset."

A pained look crosses her features.

"Give her time, let me speak to her, then wait for her to get in touch . Things can be fixed."

She scoffs.

"That's what my Gran said when I tried to tell her I didn't like men…."

I sigh, disturbed by the fact that there were still people in this world that held those views.

"Your sexuality can't be fixed Santana. Because it is not a problem to be fixed. It's you. It is a part of you. Nobody can change who you are. You are not a problem to be solved, you are just you. And being you is a great thing. But the problem with Brittany can be fixed. Like I said, wait for her to call you. She will come round. She sees the good in everyone."

She nods, and I hug her one last time before walking out.

I hear her whisper thanks, then I head back to the cafeteria. Half of the lunch hour was gone now. I wanted to get back to Britt and make sure she was OK . I wasn't going to tell her about what had just happened until tonight.

As the cafeteria came into view, Blaine appeared in front of me, with his broom in hand and in his messy overalls. His hair was slicked back with gel like how he usually had it. Last night seemed ages ago now.

"Hey beautiful. I've just been looking for you."

He grins at me, pulling me close to him with his free hand. He leans in for a kiss, but I back away. I hadn't meant to, but the words of Santana suddenly came back to me.

His brow furrows in confusion.

"It's OK Rachel, we won't get into trouble. Like I said before, I'm not an actual teacher, we are allowed to date."

I shake my head, looking down at the floor, unable to look at his hypnotizing eyes.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

For some reason, I couldn't tell him about what Santana had said. I had a feeling she was just angry at me and had been trying to hurt me. But I also had a feeling there was something in her words. I stood back from him, not getting within touching distance.

"Nothing."

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Even as he says this, I continue to look at the floor, noticing a smear of yoghurt that had been spilt, probably by some jock walking along, deliberately making a mess. Blaine was no doubt the one who had to clear it up.

I don't know what to reply, I am at a loss for words. I don't want to confront him about the things Santana said, but I can't look at him either.

"Rachel, talk to me, what the hell is wrong?"

He grabs my hand, his touch reminding me of last night, all the laughs and intimate moments, I finally look into his hazel eyes.

"Sorry. I uh… I just got into a bit of a downer, I didn't mean to worry you. Brittany had a date last night and it didn't go too well. I guess seeing you, here , just made me feel guilty that we had such a good time and she is feeling rotten."

It was the half truth. I did feel bad that my night had been amazing and hers had been awful.

He breathes out in relief, putting his free arm around my waist again. This time , I let him, and I wrap my arms around him, drinking in his smell.

"Oh baby, It is not your fault we had a good time and Britt didn't. You worried me there. I thought I had done something , or… I don't know."

He kisses me on the cheek. He leans in for my lips again, but I pull my face away, searching his eyes.

"And have you?"

He raises an eyebrow in question.

"Have I what?"

"Done something wrong?"

Crowds of people start to exit the cafeteria, all staring at us as they walk by. I guess it did look odd, Blaine and I standing here, our arms wrapped around each other, gazing in each other eyes.

A flicker of anxiety crosses his face, or was it guilt? I couldn't tell.  
"What? Of course not."  
Why was my gut telling me something different? I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was wrong. I wanted to be away from him now, I needed to see Britt.

I give him a quick kiss on the lips , breaking free from his embrace.

"I have to go, I haven't had any lunch yet."

Blaine looks uneasy as I back away from him.

"OK . Well… I'll be seeing you."

I had to smile at that. I loved him saying it, even though that time he sounded unsure. I wanted to see him again of course, I just had to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was making all of this seem wrong.

I head straight for the table, Brittany was staring at her full lunch tray while everyone else had finished eating.

She looks up from her lunch as I sit down, her eyes dull and sad.

"Blaine was just looking for you."

I smile at her, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"I know, I just saw him."

She looks suspicious.

"But you left about half an hour ago, and he was in here not even ten minutes ago. Where have you been Rachel?"

I try to look innocent as I chew.

"I was trying to find him of course, it's what took me so long. He was looking for me, I was looking for him, we kept missing each other."

She and I both knew I was lying.

"How does take away , drinks and a girly film tonight sound?"

Her face brightens at this , she nods eagerly.

"It sounds like just what I need."

To my surprise, Kitty pipes up.

"Can we come too?" She points to Tina.

I glance at Brittany in question, who shrugs.

"Sure. Bring drinks."

Marley, who I thought had been dozing in Jake's arms sits up.

"How about me?"

I smile at her warmly.

"Of course."

Jake looks very put out by this.

"Hey, why can't I come?"

Tina and I both answer at the same time.

"Because it's a girls night."

Britt sighs, gulping down the rest of her drink before speaking.

"Technically, Jake is allowed to come. After all, no offence girls , I am sad because of you. Not you lot specifically, just… just girls. They can be so cruel. So I don't see why we can't invite Jake."

He smiles at this, sitting back smug in his chair.

"Uh… Hello! Or am I invisible?"

We giggle at Sam, who was sitting in the corner pouting.

"You can come as well Sam."

We all have smiles on our faces as we leave the cafeteria for next classes. Tonight was going to be fun.


	7. Chapter 7

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 7

Britt and I went shopping after classes to get some food and drinks in for the gang later. As I watched her sadly putting bits and bobs in the shopping cart, I knew I had to tell her.

"So uh, please don't be mad but…. I …"

"I know you did, what did she say?"

She picked up a packet of cheetos, studying the packet as if she didn't know what they were. She appeared to be doing anything to not meet my eyes.

It didn't surprise me that she knew, I had a feeling she was suspicious of me earlier.

"If I tell you what she said, will it make you feel any different about what happened?"

She shrugged, throwing the cheetos in the cart.

"Try me. I feel pretty lousy about everything right now, so I can't feel worse can I?"

She had a point.

"Listen Britt, she's scared. She didn't mean to hurt you ."

She scoffs.

"Wow, I was not expecting you to _defend_ her. She must have wrapped you right round her little finger."

I sigh.

"You know I am on your side right?"

She shrugs again, glancing the shelves holding the drinks.

"Doesn't seem like it."

"What she done to you was disgraceful, and she knows that. At first, she tried to play the big bitch, refusing to acknowledge what she done. I got pissed, and just as I was about to walk out, she told me she was scared. It was genuine. Her family have been giving her a hard time, they have a feeling she likes girls and keep trying to get her to 'bring a nice man home' . They even told her it was a problem that could be 'fixed'."

This news makes her look at me, a frown on her face.

"What? That's disgusting."

I nod, picking up some lemonade and putting it in the cart, then we start heading to the checkout.

"I told her I would talk to you. I also told her to give you some time. I made it clear that what she done to you in that restaurant was awful. She knows it as well. She's not expecting you to forgive her just like that. All I am saying is, give her the benefit of the doubt, just this once. You know that I haven't been her biggest fan, but today, I saw just how vulnerable she really was. I also saw that she really likes you. Think about it, give it some time, and maybe you could try again."

To my relief , she smiles, giving me a quick hug.

"Thank you for speaking to her Rach."

I hug her back.

"You're not mad?"

She laughs, her first one all day, shaking her head.

"How could I be? You were only being a friend. Thank you."

I fill her in on every detail of the conversation on the way home, but I leave out the doubts Santana put into my head about Blaine. There were two reasons for that, the first being that if I voiced the doubts out loud, they would be real, the second being, Now that Britt was starting to feel less angry at Santana, I didn't want her to get mad again at her for putting the doubts in my head in the first place.

When we get back, we have fun making pizzas, laying out snacks and getting some drinks ready. Then I grab a bubble bath, trying to block out all thoughts of Blaine. It was hard, but I didn't want to think about the niggles that I felt every time I pictured his face. I wanted to feel like I did last night after being with him, Happy, Glowing, not feeling dread. I didn't blame Santana for making me think this way, I guess the doubts had always been there. There had been warning signs ever since I knew him. The way he snapped at me in the cafeteria, the way he sometimes couldn't look at me in the eyes. Something was going on. But I couldn't think about it now. Tonight was all about fun.

I decided that rather than getting dressed after the bath, I would put on my pink and white onesie. Britt thought it was a great idea, she put her blue one on and texted everyone who was coming to wear their onesies.  
I threw my hair back into a scruffy pony tail and done a bit of cleaning before everyone arrived.  
Not too long after , the buzzer went, letting us know the first guests had arrived. We buzzed them up, grinning as Sam walked through the door in a superman onesie. Tina followed not long after in a black one with pink hearts all over.

"Sam! You are such a big kid!"

I giggle as he makes himself at home on the sofa, doing superman impressions. The others followed not long after, Marley in a onesie that looked like a panda, and Jake in a plain grey one. Kitty was last in, wearing a red onesie where the legs had been cut down to shorts and the arms had been cut into straps. She was also wearing high heels.

Sam and Jake's mouths hit the floor as she walked in, while Britt rolled her eyes.

"Kitty, the purpose of tonight was to chill out and be comfortable, not to come as a tart. You look like you are going clubbing."

She groaned , helping herself to a drink.

"You guys are such a buzz kill. I am comfortable in this , duh. Anyway, I brought some games to liven the night up, and I stumbled across this little gem."

She produces a huge bottle of vodka from her bag, while putting twister and a pack of playing cards on the table.

"We can do strip poker and strip twister. Strip twister is really fun."

She looked at Jake as she said this, making Marley glare, clutching on to his hand tighter.

"We have classes in the morning Kitty, we can't all get flat out drunk. And we are not playing strip anything. We are wearing onesies, that is only one item to take off."

Sam looks up at me, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"You're not wearing any underwear Rachel? Then I am definitely up for strip twister."

The room bursts into laughter while I try to stop my cheeks from going red. In the end, we all pour some drinks, deciding a little bit of drink won't hurt.

The group agrees to play twister, minus the stripping and we are all in fits. Kitty turned out to be surprisingly good fun. Britt, Sam and I giggled as Tina, Jake , Marley and Kitty played against each other. Marley was out first, her sense of balance was terrible, and in the end, Kitty was declared the winner.

"Come on then you three, winner stays on."

Britt , Sam and I all stood up to join Kitty on the twister board.

"We clearly have no chance against you."

Kitty laughs, waiting for Tina to spin the board so we knew where to start. To our surprise, Kitty was out first. She accidentally lost her footing, followed soon after by Brittany.

It left just me and Sam playing against each other. I couldn't help the giggles as I somehow ended up underneath Sam.

"He grinned at me, as I done a crab like statue underneath him.

"You know I'm going to win right?"

I smirk back at him.

"We will just have to see about that won't we?!"

I faintly hear the door buzzer just as Tina calls out another instruction.

I groan as I try to get my right foot on green, but it meant putting my leg over Sam. I gasped as I fell on top of him, putting us both out of the game.

"This looks cosy."

I gasp as Blaine walks into the room, followed by a sheepish looking Britt who mouthed sorry at me.

"Blaine! Wh- wha – what are you doing here?"

I scramble of Sam, my cheeks turning red at the thought of being seen like this. Sam stood up, clearing his throat. He walked over, high fiving his friend.

"Hey Bro! What's up? You staying for a bit?"

He shakes his head, he looked seriously pissed off.

"No, I wouldn't want to break up the party. I just needed a word with Rachel."

I gesture to Blaine to step out of the room, following closely behind. I shut the door behind us and listen to everyone in the room start their chatter up again. Then I look up at Blaine, he looked more handsome than ever. His hair was curly again just like last night for our date (wow, was that really last night?) , and he had a dark blue shirt on with black trousers.

"Hey, what's up?"

I try to keep my voice casual. Things were weird between us and I didn't know what to do about it.

He runs a hand through his curls, and it actually made me jealous. I wanted to do that, just like I had before, but it didn't seem right. Something had shifted.

"I came to see if you were OK . You seemed… I don't know. Something seemed off earlier between us, and it upset me. Last night was amazing, and now things are…."

He sighed, looking at the wall behind my head as if he would find an answer there.

"I guess I didn't need to worry about you. You seem to be having fun. With my best friend."

My cheeks turn pink as I see the flash in his eyes, anger? Jealousy? I couldn't quite tell.

"That wasn't what it looked like Blaine. I fell on him. It was a game. Haven't you ever played twister before?"

He nods, managing to at least look at me now.

"Sure I have. But strangely enough, I didn't end up straddling anybody. And I didn't play it in my PJ's either. Still, I guess it's none of my business."

I shrug, staring at the foot of my onesie.

"I guess not."

"Is that why I didn't get an invite? Because you wanted to hang out with Sam? Is that what this whole awkwardness has been about today? Because you could have told me that before…. before last night Rachel. It may have only been one date, but it was amazing, and now I feel like an idiot for even thinking about liking you."

Now I was pissed off. He was trying to turn everything around on me and that wasn't fair.

"Don't be an idiot Blaine. You were just in that room, it's not like me and Sam were in their alone making out."

He laughs, only it sounds bitter and cool.

"You may as well have been."

I groan, frustration building up inside.

"Grow up. I don't like Sam in that way. He's a friend. He is a friend who was invited with a load of other friends. I don't see why you are making a fuss about it."

"If that's the case, where was my invite?"

I felt guilty at that. After all, nearly everyone else was there.

"It started off just me and Britt having a girly night, then somehow Tina, Kitty and Marley got invited. Jake wanted to come with Marley and we couldn't leave Sam out could we? I didn't think you would want to come to a girly night."

He frowns.

"Didn't look very girly where I was standing."

I sigh again, I wanted to start banging my head against the wall.

"What do you want me to say Blaine? I don't know what you are expecting me to say right now."

His huge eyes gave me chills as they looked at me full of sorrow.

"Forget it."

His voice is barely a whisper as he walks away from me and down the stairs. I debated leaving it, but for some reason, I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to go after him.

I caught up with him on the third set of stairs. He looked at me in shock as I grabbed his hand , pulling him down to sit with me on a step. Then I took a deep breath and said what I needed to say.

"Last night was the best night I have had in a long time. Everything was perfect. I have only known you for a few days , and I felt myself falling for you. And that is a scary thing Blaine, having feelings for somebody that quick."

His hand reaches out to touch my face. I put my hand on top of his, kissing his palm.

"Today, at NYADA, Santana said something that worried me. Something about how I couldn't take any moral high ground because I went on a date with you. She made it sound like you have this huge secret and that I shouldn't be going near you, which is why I stayed away today."

It was at that moment that I wished he didn't have such descriptive eyes. I saw everything in them. I saw guilt, followed by pain, followed by looking cool, as if I hadn't said anything worrying at all. It was then that I was certain Santana was right.

"Santana as in the head cheerleader?"

He keeps his voice calm and collected, but I sensed the urgency in it.

I nod.

"What is it you're keeping from me Blaine? Please, tell me. I have a right to know."

This time, he cups my face with both hands, drawing me in for a kiss. I hated how comfortable this felt, being in his arms, my lips against his. It hurt when I knew he was hiding something, and yet, I kissed him back.

"Listen, Rachel… I- ….. , You…. I can't."

He shakes his head, then tries again, his eyes on mine, never breaking away.

"OK , there is something. But I can't tell you. Not yet. Not until the whole horrible mess goes away. All I can say is that I would not do anything to hurt you. Do you believe that?"

As much as I didn't want to, I nod. I did believe him.

"You might hear some things, not just from Santana, but loads of people. And I want you to just turn the other cheek. I want you to not listen to any of it. I'm a good guy Rachel. And I am seriously falling for you. I can't keep away. Please, just give me a chance? Don't let everyone else come between us. Don't let this thing, this awful thing that I have to keep from you drive us apart. Just know that I wouldn't hurt you."

I had to admit I was scared. I was scared of whatever it was he couldn't tell me. But I also trusted him. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. It was weird how certain I felt about that.

I nod again, not able to say anything.

He drops his hands from my face, wrapping me up in a hug, I hug him back, breathing him in. It was crazy how familiar he already was. It truly did feel like I belonged here, in his arms.

"So Miss Berry, after all that, will you go on another date with me?"

I kiss him on the cheek, feeling giggly again.

"Yes."

The ever present butterflies in my belly started up again, It seemed to be the case every time he was near me.

"Even if you hear stuff about me?"

I squeeze his hand in reassurance.

"Yes, even if I hear stuff about you."

He seems happy with that, and breathes out in relief, standing up.

"Right, well in that case, I'm going home now. Are you free tomorrow night? Half seven again?"

"Yes. But don't you want to come back up and stay with us tonight?"

He glances up to the ceiling as if he could see them all from here and shakes his head.

"No, I wouldn't want to disturb you and Sam."

I elbow him gently in the ribs.

"Oi, stop it. I don't go for blondes anyway."

He grins at me, his hazel eyes dancing as he looks full of mischief.

"Oh? Sam will be heartbroken."

I laugh.

"You, Blaine Anderson, are a devil. Now stop winding me up and go home. Before I steal you and have my wicked way with you."

His eyes light up at that.

"Maybe I should hang around for a bit longer then."

Now it's my turn to grin at him.

"You will?"

He pulls me in for a lingering kiss.

"Sorry beautiful, I have to go."

He starts walking down the stairs and just before he reaches the bottom, he turns to me.

"I'll be seeing you."

My belly does somersaults as he speaks those words.

As I walk back upstairs to my friends, I feel euphoric. I try not to think of whatever this thing was Blaine couldn't tell me. He swore it wasn't anything that could hurt me, and I had to take his word for it.

I knew one thing for sure, I had already fallen a bit too far and I couldn't seem to dig my way back out.


	8. Chapter 8

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 8

The next day at NYADA passed with no drama. I briefly saw Blaine in the cafeteria, but there was no time to talk, he just blew me a kiss and carried on with his sweeping. Britt had cheer class in the afternoon and told me she said hi to Santana. It was better than nothing.

Back at our dorm after school, we cleaned up the mess from last night. There were bottles, old food and cards strewn all over the place. Kitty had been wearing dark sunglasses all day, she obviously hit the vodka a little too hard.

I hold a rubbish bag open as Britt starts piling stuff in to it.

"Last night was so fun! I think Sam has a bit of a crush on you. How do you feel about that?"

I arch an eyebrow, frowning at her words.

"I don't feel anything about it because it's not true. Besides, he's best friends with Blaine."

Britt nods.

"I know. That could make things awkward. And it is true. He kept staring at you. And when you fell on him during that game of twister, he looked like the cat that got the cream. And Blaine didn't look too happy."

I shrugged.

"I explained it all to Blaine last night, it was only a game. And Sam does not fancy me so there will be nothing to worry about with him and Blaine. And speaking of the hunky caretaker, I need to get ready for the date soon."

Britt smiled, saying that she would carry on with the cleaning. I went and had a nice bubbly bath, trying to relax. I had the usual butterflies at the thought of seeing Blaine. When I was finished in the bath, I had another frantic search in my wardrobe for something to wear. In the end, I went for a black skirt with thick black tights, and a heavy cream sweater. I knew I would be boiling in it later, but I had my reasons. Or rather, reason. The fact that I had been wearing a skimpy dress on our last date did not help matters when things started to get steamy between us, so I hoped this outfit would make him realise we wouldn't be getting as 'involved' tonight.

I left my hair down , tumbling over my shoulders and left my face make up free. To my dismay , Britt frowned when I walked into the living room.

"Rachel, It's a date, not a 'come dressed as your granny' party."

I tug at my sweater self-consciously, then fetched myself a glass of water, mainly to give my hands something to do.

"Thanks Britt. Way to make me feel good about myself. Anyway, that's the point, the outfit is supposed to be off putting."

She collapses on the sofa, picking up the nearest magazine and flicking through it.

"Oh? And why is that?"

My cheeks turn pink as I remember the other night, how close our bodies were, how good it felt, how all I had to do was take my dress off and I would have let him have his way with me just like that.

"Nothing you need to know about, don't worry."

She looks up from the magazine as I join her on the sofa.

"Rachel, your outfit is not going to put Blaine off. You still look gorgeous, even in that."

I smile my thanks at her and she goes back to flipping through the magazine .

"I want you to do something for me tonight."

She doesn't look up as she casually nods to my statement. I assumed that meant she would do it.

"I want you to text Santana."

She drops the magazine at this, staring at me, her crisp blue eyes shining with emotion.

"I'm not ready."

I take her hand in mine, squeezing it.

"Yes you are. She is hurting as well Britt. You are miserable not talking to her. Just give her a text, explain how much she hurt you, then try and move on from it, together."

She looks down at our clasped hands and sighs.

"I suppose a text wouldn't hurt. If she really is as scared as you said she is, then maybe she could do with a friend."

I nod enthusiastically, jumping up at the buzzer. She stood up with me, kissing me on the cheek.

"See you later roomie. Just give her a text and take it from there."

I grab my bag , waving bye to Britt as she tells me to have a good time.

I basically run down the five flights of stairs, eager to see Blaine again. I smile as I catch him leaning against the lamppost like last time, a sexy grin on his face. His hair was curly, I figured it must always be like that when he wasn't working, and he was wearing a bright multi coloured patchy shirt that he somehow managed to make look hot, and a pair of light blue jeans.

I skipped over, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him, taking him by surprise. He still had the faint taste of peppermint, he did every time we kissed. His lips were soft and his breathing became fast as we explored each other. I pushed him against the lamppost even more, pressing my body in to him. He breaks away from me breathlessly, a glint in his eye.

"Wow, that was a nice hello! What did I do to deserve that?!"

I shrug, grabbing his hand and linking it with mine, a huge soppy grin across my face.

"Nothing, it's just good to see you."

He chuckles, pushing himself forward from the post and we start walking the same way we did the other night.

"You look beautiful by the way. Even if you are in an outfit designed to keep my wandering hands away."

I blush, smiling up at him.

"We don't want a repeat of last time. I had to take precautions."

He pretends to look hurt at my words, but I could see the laughter in his eyes.

"I want a repeat of last time. You can't make all the decisions around here you know, that's not fair."

I giggle, squeezing his hand.

"Are we going to the hut again tonight? I love it there."

He shakes his head which puzzles me as we are heading straight for NYADA like we did last time.

"Then where?"

He taps his nose with his free hand, keeping his poker face on.

I groan, stomping my foot as I walked like a five year old would do.

"Don't you remember the talk about me hating surprises?"

He nods this time, a little smile forming at the corner of his mouth.

"Sure I do, but I also remember you being speechless at the last surprise and giving me the best kiss I ever had. So I thought I should surprise you again."

I grin, looking down at my feet as I walked along.

"Well I hope this is as good as last time, otherwise you are going to be disappointed."

He chuckles lightly again, running his free hand through his curls as we head into the NYADA grounds.

"You already left me breathless back at yours with a kiss, so if that is all I get tonight, then I consider myself a very lucky man."

We stop talking as we climb the three steps to NYADA'S main entrance. He grabs a bunch of keys from his pocket, looking through them until he finds the right one, then opens the heavy doors, gesturing for me to go inside.

I raise an eyebrow in question as I step past him into the building, my eyes trying to adjust to the dark.

I gasp as the heavy doors shut behind us, Blaine steps behind me, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"Don't be scared baby girl. Remember how you said you trust me?"

"Yes." I whisper, as I feel him wrap a blindfold around my eyes. It didn't really make a difference if I was being honest, my eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark anyway so I couldn't see a thing either way.

He wraps one arm around my waist and grabs one of my hands with his, then gently starts guiding me through the building. Neither of us say a word as we walk. Just as I thought I couldn't take it any longer, he lets go of my hand , and I hear the creak of a door open in front of me. He shuffles me forward, then asks if I am ready.

I give one quick nod of the head, feeling apprehensive. As he takes the blindfold off, I blink as my eyes adjust to the flickering light. We were at the back of the auditorium, and I gazed round, my mouth open in shock. Every step down to the stage had been lined with candles either side, casting a romantic glow over the whole place. On the stage itself was a table and chairs, draped in white fabric and right in the corner of the stage, a man sat on the piano, tinkling the keys softly.

I turn to Blaine, mouth still open in awe.

"Did you do all this? For me?"

He nods, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head, then takes my hand and leads me down the steps. He pulls out my chair for me and I sit down, feeling shy and nervous. The piano man was so far back that he wouldn't be able to hear our conversation.

Blaine sits opposite me, his eyes looked huge in the dim glow of the candles and he places a hand on top of mine, looking happier than ever.

"Our food and drink will be here soon."

"What?" I ask in surprise, I hadn't even thought about the fact we were sitting at a table in the auditorium until he just spoke.

"I hired some caterers, they are out the back right now, cooking as we speak. They are the best of the best. I asked Britt at school today what foods you like and what you don't, so hopefully you will be happy with the menu."

I open my mouth to speak, then close it again, not knowing where to start. Instead, I lean across the table, cupping his face, pulling him towards me. Just as our lips are about to touch, I whisper thank you, then kiss him, leaving us both feeling dizzy by the time the first course and drinks are brought out.

"If I had known you were going to do something like this, I would have dressed up."

His eyes sparkled as he poured us both a glass of wine.

"You would look hot in a bin bag Rachel. And don't worry, we can always take some clothes off if you are really that uncomfortable in what you are wearing."

I giggle, casting a quick glance at the piano player as Blaine catches my drift and shakes his head.

"Don't worry, we will be alone once the meal is over."

I raise a suspicious eyebrow while taking a bite of my food.

"Is that your plan Mr Anderson? Getting me alone in a huge empty space so nobody hears my cries for help?"

He chews his food before answering, still with that same twinkle in his eyes.

"Trust me, when I make you cry out, you won't be screaming for help."

We both laugh, trying to keep quiet as possible so the piano player doesn't hear the conversation.

"I can't believe you done all this for me Blaine. It's magical. But why the auditorium?"

He leans forward, as if about to tell me a secret, but his voice is loud and clear.

"Because after our food, you can thank me by singing for me."

I finish my starter, my belly doing somersaults at the thought of singing to him. I shake my head slightly, the nerves clearly showing on my face.

His eyes widen at my actions, but it was also as if he expected me to react that way.

"Yes. You are singing for me. And I have something to sing for you as well. No good playing shy with me Rachel. After Glee club, I had a bit of a nose through your personal records and watched a few videos from your competitions . You are amazing. And I want you to sing to me."

The caterers come to clear our plates away, and quickly bring out the main course.

"You can go first then."

He nods at this, smiling now I had agreed to do it. I still felt terrified, and went through a list of songs I could sing in my head while Blaine waffled on about something that happened at lunch today.

By the time the desert came out, I was feeling confident in my song choice. We laughed the night away and had a few more glasses of wine between us before everything was cleared away and Blaine was ready to sing. I took my place in one of the audience seats in the front row, while he wheeled the piano over to the middle of the stage.

He sat down, clearing his throat and speaking into the piano microphone.

"OK , so, now I am actually up here doing this , I feel a little nervous. But…. I have been wanting to tell you how I have felt this last week and I think I will do better in song so… here you go."

He started playing the piano. I smiled as his smooth voice echoed around the room. It was one of my all time favourite songs, and it was a good job I had been sitting down because my legs turned to jelly.

**"Never knew I could feel like this  
****Like I've never seen the sky before  
****Want to vanish inside your kiss"**

He played the piano expertly while looking at me singing.

"**Seasons may change, winter to spring  
****But I love you until the end of time  
****Come what may  
****Come what may  
****I will love you until my dying day"**

I got chills as he carried on singing, his voice angelic. You could tell he meant every single word in the song and I melted as he gazed at me.

**Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
****Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
****Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
****It all revolves around you  
****And there's no mountain too high  
****No river too wide  
****Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side  
****Storm clouds may gather,  
****And stars may collide  
****But I love you  
****Until the end of time  
****Come what may  
****Come what may  
****I will love you until my dying day**

As he finishes the song, I jump from my seat, clapping enthusiastically, then I run up onto the stage, sitting down on his lap, and sprinkled him with kisses all over his face.

"Does that mean you liked it?"

I beam at him, nodding, too moved to speak.

He looked pleased with himself, then gently stood up, making me sigh as I had to get off him. He chuckled.

"Hey, no pouting. You can sing now and then after…. Well, you can erm, sit on me for as long as you like."

I laugh, blushing at the words as he made his way down to the seat I had just sat on. I didn't know what it was about Blaine, but I seemed to laugh all the time in his company, which could only be a good thing.

I quickly ran backstage to get the piano player who Blaine had told to stay until we finished the songs, whispered to him which one I wanted , and he nodded , taking his place in front of the ivory keys.

I didn't really pick a song that told him my feelings like he had done for me, I picked one more suited to my voice. I suppose some of the song was romantic, but he told me to sing, and I thought this would be the best one.

"Your song was perfect Blaine." He grins up at me from where he is sitting, and my nerves start to disappear. After all, I lived for singing, just because it was Blaine watching me, it didn't make any difference.

I nod to the piano player, then take a deep breath before launching into my song.

**"Take me back into the arms I love  
****Need me like you did before  
****Touch me once again  
****And remember when  
****There was no one that you wanted more  
****Don't go you know you'll break my heart  
****She won't love you like I will  
****I'm the one who'll stay  
****When she walks away  
****And you know I'll be standing here still"**

I suppose you could say that when I sang, I got lost, it didn't matter what I was singing, where I was, or who I was singing to, I was transported into my own little world.

Which is why I didn't notice the anger on Blaine's face as I carried on with my song.

**"I'll be waiting for you  
****Here inside my heart  
****I'm the one who wants to love you more  
****Can't you see I can give you  
****Everything you need  
****Let me be the one to love you more  
****See me as if you never knew  
****Hold me so you can't let go  
****Just believe in me~  
****I will make you see  
****All the things that your heart needs to know  
****I'll be waiting for you  
****Here inside my heart  
****I'm the one who wants to love you more  
****Can't you see I can give you  
****Everything you need  
****Let me be the one to love you more  
****Some way all the love that we had can be saved  
****Whatever it takes we'll find a way  
****Believe me  
****I will make you see  
****All the things that your heart needs to know  
****I'll be waiting for you  
****Here inside my heart  
****I'm the one who wants to love you more  
****Can't you see I can give you  
****Everything you need  
****Let me be the one to love you more"**

I felt pretty pleased with myself as I managed to hold the end note of the song perfectly. That was, until I saw Blaine's face. He looked angry, upset and confused. He didn't clap me like I did for him, just stood there, looking at me with those beautiful eyes, eyes that were now angry.

"What…. What's wrong?"

Maybe he had a text or something while I was singing. Maybe something had happened.

"Who have you been talking to?"

His voice actually sounded like venom.

I hurry down the stage steps to him, closing the gap between us. I went to touch his arm but he flinched away from me.

"Answer me god damn it Rachel."

His voice was raised, he was almost shouting. I take a step back like I had been scolded.

"I… I- don't understand. Have I done something wrong?"

My heart was thudding fast, I had no clue what was going on, but I didn't like it.

"You promised me last night that you wouldn't listen to gossip about me. You said that you would ignore all the talk. I want to know who has told you."

OK , I really had no clue what he was on about now, and my anger was rising. He had no right to make me feel bad for something I knew nothing about.

"Blaine, what are you on about? Are you crazy? I haven't been speaking to anyone. Who told me what?"

He laughs, but unlike the happy laughter from earlier, this one was cold.

"It was Sam wasn't it. You are just covering his ass because he has a crush on you. I thought that asshole was my friend."

I reach out for him again, still not understanding.

"Sam hasn't told me anything. I mean it. What's gotten into you? I told you I wouldn't listen to anything I heard about you and I meant it. Why won't you believe me?"

My eyes are watering now, I didn't want to cry, but he was pushing me to it.

"Then why the song Rachel? If you haven't been talking to anyone , why the song?"

I tug on my jumper to give my hands something to do as he wouldn't let me touch him, staring into his eyes, trying to make him see.

"You asked me to sing for you. I like that song… I really don't see what the…."

"Get out."

My heart sinks like a stone. It felt like I had been punched in the gut.

"Excuse me?"

He turns away from me, refusing to look at me. His eyes were watering too and he clearly felt as miserable as I did right now.

"You heard me. Get out. Just go. Now."

I had no choice but to do what he asked. He wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't explain what was going on, there was something I was missing here. I walked up the steps slowly, looking back at him twice. He was glaring at the wall, and didn't look up once.

As soon as I got out of the auditorium, I ran out of the NYADA Building, tears falling freely now. What the hell had went so wrong?

It was only when I got back to my building, I realised. I wanted to throw up I felt so sick. It honestly felt like my heart had been ripped out and stood on. The song .

**"She won't love you like I will"**

I wince with pain as the lyrics come back to me.

**"I'm the one who'll stay**

**When she walks away"**

I sobbed loudly now as I thought of Santana's words. She said I had no right to take the moral high ground. All the signs were there. Blaine begging me not to listen to other people. The song.

I collapsed against the lamppost and clutched my chest as I realised that Blaine was seeing someone else.


	9. Chapter 9

**New York State Of Mind**

**Chapter 9**

Needless to say I didn't sleep much that night. I tossed and turned, and by the time I got out of bed in the morning, I looked a state. Britt was already in bed when I arrived home last night, and I got up so early this morning that I showered, threw on a t-shirt, blue cardigan and a black and white dotted skirt, shoved my hair up in a messy pony tail and left the house before Brittany had even woke.

I wanted to go for a walk to clear my head. NYADA didn't open for another hour so I wandered aimlessly around the campus, checking out things I hadn't noticed before. I had only been here a week and it already seemed like a lifetime, how could that be? How could so much have happened in such a short space of time? How could I have been such an idiot for falling for somebody who was clearly a lying scumbag.

When it was time to go into the school, Britt came running up to me from behind, calling my name.

"Rach! Wait up."

I turn to look at her, trying to force a smile.

"What the hell? You look awful. Are you OK ?"

"Thanks Britt. I'm fine."

My voice sounded dull. I couldn't help that.

Realisation hits her face.

"Blaine. What happened? It's him isn't it? I knew I should have waited up for you last night. Tell me Rachel."

I shake my head . not knowing where to start. I wanted to tell her, but standing in a corridor in NYADA wasn't the best place.

Britt jumps as Santana comes up behind her, grabbing on to her shoulders.

"Hey you! Thanks for the texts last night. They made me smile."

Brittany barely glanced at her as she continued to study my face. This made Santana look at me, and when she did, she looked sheepish.

"I guess you found out then. I know I was a bitch to you the other day and when I said those things about you seeing Blaine, I said them in anger, but I didn't really want you to get hurt. He's a lying scumbag. Forget him."

I flinch as she confirms what I already thought I knew. Blaine was a liar and a cheat. I couldn't speak as I turned from them, walking into singing class.

Marley, Jake and Sam were already in there. Their faces dropped as I sat in my seat, trying not to look at any of them.

"Uh… Rach…. Are you OK ?"

I could see Sam out of the corner of my eye staring at me in concern.

"Wow, I must really look like shit today. I'm fine, now piss off."

Marley leans over, shocked at the my words. I felt a bit guilty at the hurt look on Sam's face.

"Rachel, that was rude. What on earth is the matter with you?"

I ignored Marley, instead choosing to look Sam straight in the eye.

"You were all round my place the other night. We had fun, we had a laugh, you told me to have a good time when I said I was going on another date with Blaine, your best friend… and you didn't think to warn me he was seeing someone else?"

I feel a stabbing pain in my heart as Sam's face drains of colour. After what Santana said earlier, and now Sam's reaction, it was clear I had been right when putting two and two together. Blaine didn't want me to listen to anyone in case they told me he was with someone. Blaine hated my song because it implied I knew he was seeing someone. Everyone knew apart from me, and now I looked like a relationship wrecking bitch.

Sam runs a hand through his floppy blonde hair.

"You uh… you know about that? Look, Rachel… you have to understand, Blaine wouldn't have wanted you to be upset about this."

I laugh, a horrible bitter sounding one, then look at him with dismay.

"He didn't want me to be upset? What the hell did he think I would do, happily play along with it all while he has a lover tucked away somewhere?"

"No, it's not like that. How did you find out? Did he tell you?"

I shake my head.

"No I put two and two together. There have been alarm bells ringing in my head all week about him. Things that weren't right . And now I know. And you wanted me to be hurt, you willingly let me go on that date because you have a stupid crush on me. You wanted me to be angry at Blaine so I would fall into your arms."

I immediately regret the words as soon as I say them. Sam's cheeks flame red as Marley and Jake stare at both of us , a look of amusement and horror on their faces.

I grab Sam's hand, it wasn't fair to take anything out on him. He wasn't the one who had hurt me.

"Sam… I – I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… "

He shrugs my hand off.

"Don't bother.." He stands up, heaving his bag on his shoulder and walking out. I was about to run after him when Mr Schuester walks in, ready to start the class. Sam didn't come back to class at all, and by the time Marley, Jake and I walked to the cafeteria for lunch, I was even more miserable then what I had been earlier.

I didn't want anything to eat, so I go straight over to the table we usually sat at. Only Britt and Santana were there , giggling about something. It made me feel good to see they were getting along again. Maybe things would work out just fine for them, I hoped so.

"Girls, have you seen Sam anywhere?"

Santana raises an eyebrow as I sit down opposite them.

"Why would we have seen him? We just had cheer class. He's in singing class with you isn't he?"

I nod sadly.

"Never mind."

I look down at the table, picking at a name that had been scratched into it.

I sensed that Blaine was near me before he even spoke.

"Rachel, we need to talk."

I look up from the table, Brittany and Santana were staring at me with sympathy on their faces. Then I stand up, deliberately walking all the way round the table to avoid Blaine and head out of the cafeteria. What was it about lunchtime that constantly made him appear? What did he even want anyway? He was the one who told me to get out last night, and now, knowing what I knew, I had no desire to even look at him, let alone speak to him.

I run down the three grey steps outside the NYADA building, and start heading for the fields, I wanted to find Sam. Maybe he was at the football grounds or something. I hear Blaine calling my voice behind me as I start running , eager to get away from him.

Unfortunately, running had never really been a strong point of mine, and by the time I had past the cheerleading grounds, he had caught up with me , grabbing my arm.

"Will you stop? We need to talk."

He spins me around to face him, I look at the ground, studying his paint splattered shoes. I hadn't actually seen him doing any painting yet, so I wondered why his overalls and shoes were covered in paint.

"Look at me."

I shake my head like a kid, trying to get his hand off my arm. He was too strong for me. He wasn't hurting, but he wouldn't let go either. I sigh in frustration.

My sigh turns into a gasp as he grabs me by the waist firmly, and starts pulling me down the fields. I try to protest but it's no use. I scan the fields in case there is any sign of Sam, but I couldn't see him anywhere.

By the time Blaine has unlocked the hut door and pushed me in, I was furious.

"What the fuck are you doing? I would have thought you would be clear on this, but I will say it loud just so you are certain, I don't want to talk to you."

He shuts the door behind us, and I stare at him, feeling all my emotions build up at once. I wanted to look away , but I couldn't. Besides, if I turned away, it meant I would be faced with the cream rug and fireplace we had been so happy near just a few nights ago.

His eyes were watering, like he was on the verge of tears. His hair like usual, was slicked back for work. I was surprised to see dark shadows under his eyes like he hadn't slept. Wasn't I the one who had been hurt?

"We have to talk, we can't leave things like this."

I scoff, tucking my hands into the pockets of my blue cardigan. I didn't break eye contact. I didn't want him to think I was weak.

"Are you thick or just a dick head? I have no wish to speak to you."

I stepped forward, reaching out for the door. I gave up and put my hand back inside my pocket once I realised he wasn't going to move. And I didn't want to have to touch him.

"Come on Rachel, don't be like this."

I glare at him, despite feeling a quiver of weakness as his huge hazel eyes stare into mine, I wasn't going to back down.

"Fine. Let's get this over with. When were you going to tell me?"

"Look,… baby.. I…"

"Don't you dare call me baby. When were you going to tell me that you are seeing someone else?"

His eyes widen, guilt, upset, and anger in one single look.

"So that song was to get back at me then? That song was to teach me some sort of weird lesson, is that it? You didn't have to be so cruel."

My mouth gapes open in shock. Was he for real?

"How am I the bad one in all of this? You are in the wrong Blaine, not me."

I take my hands from my pocket, folding my arms across my chest. I was fidgety. I had that annoying , desperate feeling of wanting to touch him, wanting him to touch me, yet at the same time hating him.

"You are in the wrong. You didn't have to let me believe we were on some perfect date then throw a bombshell like that at me… why didn't you just ask me about it like a normal person would?"

"Because I didn't know." My voice was so high, I am almost shouting. I was so frustrated that I wanted to pull my hair out. " Do you really think if I had known before the date, that I would have went anywhere with you? It wasn't some revenge plan Blaine. I chose the song because it is one of my favourites. I chose it because I can hit all the notes perfectly. It was your reaction that made me realise. Santana's warnings, you telling me not to listen to rumours, the words in the song… I had no clue until I got home after the so called date and cried myself to sleep."

He steps away from the door, walking closer to me. I am still determined not to break eye contact. To let him see me crumble now would be humiliating.

"You didn't know? You really had no clue before the song?"

I shake my head, my heart beating fast as his familiar scent hit me. I wanted more than anything to throw my arms around him, but he was a lying cheating scumbag.

"I wasn't even one hundred percent certain I was right, I thought there may have been a slight chance I had got it wrong, at least… I hoped I had. Until today when Santana and Sam confirmed it. You have been wining and dining me when all along, there is somebody else. And to put the cherry on top, you are standing here, being a shit to me like it's my fault."

He gives an exasperated sigh and walks over to the old worn but comfy sofa. As he sits down, I know then that I should walk out, that I should just leave him , but I don't. I wait for him to explain.

"I knew I should have told you. Maybe if I had just explained everything from the start, we wouldn't be in this mess right now, but I just stupidly thought things would work out, I thought we could conquer anything. I didn't want to hurt you Rachel but then I just couldn't seem to keep away and you didn't ask if I was single so I just didn't…."

I gasp out loud, not believing what I am hearing.

"Wait, so it is still my fault? I didn't ask if you were single so you thought it was OK ?. The reason I didn't ask Blaine, is because you chased me for a date. I never dreamed in a million years you were already with someone. It's not usually how somebody acts when they are hitched to someone else."

He shakes his head, then rests it in his hands, looking helpless and forlorn.

"I didn't mean it like that. I didn't know this was going to happen. I have hated myself this week, I tried to stop talking to you, but I just couldn't help it. Those times I snapped for no reason, I was angry. Angry that life has somehow made me meet somebody like you when I can't be with you."

Even though I had known all day that we couldn't be together anymore, the words still stung. He stood up again, walking over to me, cupping my face.

"I am so sorry I hurt you. More sorry than you know. I didn't want this. I didn't want any of it. It just happened."

I could see the torture in his eyes. And I knew it probably made me a soft touch, but I believed him. He was hurting, just like I was. I was still angry for what he had done, but I could see that he meant it, he didn't want this to happen. I place my hands over his, then bring them down to my shoulders, looking into his eyes.

"Try not to…. Try not to beat yourself up over this Blaine. We all make mistakes."

He smiles a sad smile. Our faces were inches apart and it would have been so easy to kiss him. I was tempted. Tempted to taste his sweetness once more before I walked away for good, but then I knew that would only make my pain worse.

"You weren't a mistake Rachel. You were never a mistake."

His voice is a whisper. He looks so wounded that I can barely take it.

I let go of him, stepping towards the door. I immediately felt lost at the lack of contact, but it was either let go or hold on for good, and we both knew we couldn't do that.

I reach for the door handle, and even though I knew I should just walk out, I turn to him again, my breathing erratic and fast while my heart thumps wildly in my chest.

"Who is it?"

He looks surprised at my question.

"Do they go to NYADA?"

I would hate that, the thought of Blaine with someone else was hard enough, but the thought of having to see them together was awful. I realised with a cold jolt that they must be known around here… after all, everyone at the school had known he was with someone apart from me.

"Don't do this to yourself. It doesn't matter."

I let go of the door, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Of course it matters. I want to know. You can at least give me that Blaine."

He shrugs, staring at me cooly.

"Why? Nothing I say about this situation can make things better for us, so why torture yourself with it? It's too late now. It doesn't matter who she is. All that matters is that I done wrong, and I am sorry."

I couldn't explain why, but I walked back to him, throwing my arms around his neck and let a tear fall down my cheek. He was stunned at first, then wrapped his arms around my waist as if he were never going to let go.

When I was back at school, I had been out with a few guys, some for months , but no break up had ever been as hard as this. And I had only known him for not even a week.

I breathed him in as I hugged him to me, I felt an ache that I knew would be here from now on. The thought that was the last time I would get to touch him was horrendous.

"Please don't cry baby girl."

He whispers in my ear, his breath warm and tickly, sending shivers down my spine.

I take a deep breath, and wipe my tear away. Then closing my eyes, I place a soft kiss on his lips.

I couldn't be sure , but as I ran out of the hut, feeling like my heart would break, I thought I heard a strangled cry from inside. But either way, I didn't look back.

_**A/N - So, some of you may still be confused by that chapter, or it may have cleared things up, all I want to say is... Don't hate Blaine! Not yet...**_


	10. Chapter 10

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 10

I tried to keep the tears in as I made my way back to the main building. I didn't want to cry. Blaine had already seen me shed a tear over him, I wasn't going to cry anymore. But then why did I feel so desperately sad? I had never believed in love at first sight, and I still didn't, not really. But I knew after this week that it was possible to let yourself fall way too deep for someone. And I hated that I had been so weak.

Just before I came to the grey steps of NYADA's entrance hall, I saw a blonde head of hair over near in the parking lot. Sam. He was leaning against a car, looking like he had the whole world against him. I was the one who had made him feel so shit and I couldn't bear it. I ran up to him, he gasped as I launched myself at him, wrapping him in a huge hug.

"I'm so sorry. Please don't be so sad. I was a bitch. I'm sorry."

He hugs me tightly back, not in the way Blaine would wrap his arms around my waist, in a different way. He held me in his strong arms, patting my back in a friendly way.

"It's OK . I over reacted. You are not a bitch."

Now I couldn't hold the tears in. He was being so nice, and I had been awful.

"I am. I was a bitch. We both know it. Why else would you have stormed out of the class and not come back?"

He holds me at arms length , he looked embarrassed but he kept eye contact.

"Because I was mortified. I didn't think you knew I … I had a bit of thing for you. I hoped you wouldn't find out, I didn't want to make anything between us uncomfortable."

I hug him again, I couldn't help it. He was so sweet , and was being so lovely when I didn't deserve any of it.

"Nothing will be uncomfortable Sam. You are awesome, and I shouldn't have used you liking me as a weapon. So I am going to say sorry again, and you are going to accept it because I was a cow.. I'm sorry."

He smiles at me as I pull away from him.

"Fine. Apology accepted. We still have ten minutes left of lunch, I know you haven't eaten anything because I saw you running into the fields and Blaine chasing you at the start of lunch, you wanna go grab something out of the machine quick?"

I smile gratefully, brushing my tears away with the back of my hand and link his arm, the way Britt always done to me. Then we start heading into the building.

"I was looking for you when I ran out you know. I feel awful."

He looks down at his shoes as we walk along.

"I'm the one who should say sorry. You were right Rach. I should have told you about Blaine. The whole school knows what's going on with him and it wasn't fair on you. But I was stuck. I have only known you a few days, Blaine has been my best friend my whole life. I know how much he liked you, and I know how hard he has found it this week."

I sigh, the last thing I wanted to talk about was Blaine, but I guess we had to as that was how we fell out in the first place.

"Don't feel too sorry for him Sam. It hasn't been that hard for him. He had his cake and ate it this week, most guys would say he's had a brilliant time of it."

I watch Sam as he puts some money in the machine, and buys two drinks, and two bars of chocolate. He hands a bottle and a bar to me, I thank him as we sit down against the wall in the corridor, it was quiet out here, and it would kill time until dance class.

"He's been in hell Rachel. Look, we might as well be honest about things here, I fancy the pants off you." His cheeks turned pink as he said these words. He took a sip of his drink and carried on. " I have no reason to defend Blaine or stick up for him, In fact, I have a lot more reason to demand that you hate him so I could somehow have a chance with you….. but he is hurting. He hates what has happened." He shrugs then, opening his chocolate bar, takes a bite. "Besides, whether Blaine is single or not, as long as you go to this school and he is here, I will never have a chance. I've seen the way your eyes light up when you see him. So like I said, don't hate him too much. It's rough on him."

I didn't know how to answer any of that without making things awkward. The truth was, he was right. I couldn't even think about looking at another guy while Blaine was around.

"If it's been so rough, then maybe he should have thought with his brain instead of his dick, and not dated two girls at once."

He chokes a bit on his drink at this, then looks at me wide eyed.

"You are kidding right? He didn't think with either when it came to you, he went with his heart on that one. He never, and I mean never… wanted you for just sex if that's what you are thinking."

I shrug at his words, I still didn't feel anything but anger for Blaine right now.

"He didn't get sex anyway, we only….."

"Uh, I don't want to know. I haven't stopped fancying you in the last ten minutes you know? It will still make me jealous hearing about what you got up to."

I wince at that, I was being thoughtless.

"Sorry."

The bell rings for the end of lunch, and we stand up grudgingly.

"So, I'll see you in Glee club this afternoon?"

My eyes widen, and my mouth drops open. I had forgot all about Glee club. My first reaction was to say no, to say that I wouldn't be going… but then I thought, if I do that, then Blaine has won. I nod, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"See you later Sam. And like I said, I'm sorry."

By the time dance class had finished, I was a hot sweaty mess, and the last thing I wanted to do was face Glee club. My dance room was at the opposite end of the school to the choir room, and as I made my way there, my stomach filled with dread.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the choir room door, annoyed to find that I was the last one there. Blaine had already started the lesson, and was leaning casually against the piano talking to the class. I went straight over and sat next to Sam. He had saved me a seat, and it was right on the front row. I would have been better sitting in a corner somewhere, pretending I wasn't here, but still.

Blaine stops, staring at me with a confused look on his face as I sit down. I decide to be brave, and look him in the eye to show that I could handle this. Just seeing him made me feel weak , he was out of his overalls now, in a smart black shirt. He looked devastatingly handsome and it wasn't fair.

He shook his head, like he was trying to clear it, then looks up at the class, looking at anyone but me.

"So anyway, as I was saying, It's no good practicing for these competitions if we don't have the passion inside to want to do them. And that is the lesson today. I want you all to come up and sing a song you feel passionate about, something that means something to you. I was going to start but uh…." He glances at me, then looks away, clearing his throat. " But I think I will let someone else go now."

I honestly wasn't trying to wind Blaine up , but I stuck my hand in the air. He deliberately ignored me for what felt like forever, the whole choir room engulfed in an awkward silence, before we heard Santana's voice from the back.

"Hey Anderson, Rachel has her hand up. Maybe you could ask what she wants , or are you going to make it a habit of humiliating her whenever she is near you?"

Blaine's jaw clenches in anger as he glares at Santana, I turn around and smile at her in thanks, delighted to see her and Britt were clutching hands.

"Any more lip from you Lopez, and you can get out." He faces me, not looking in my eyes, he stares at my legs instead. " Yes Rachel?"

"I was just wondering why you were going to start off the songs, and since I walked in, you're not. You are our teacher, you are supposed to lead by example. Don't let me put you off."

The glee club all starts muttering around me in agreement. He shakes his head, never looking at my eyes once, then walks to the piano, thudding down in anger.

Just before he starts playing, he does look me in the eyes this time.

"You might think you are the victim here, but just remember, I'm hurting too."

I fold my arms across my chest, showing no sign that his words affected me. Sam leaned over as the music started up, whispering in my ear.

"I told you. He's broken."

I ignore it as the song turns into a slowed down familiar tune that I knew and loved. I gasped as he changed the first few words to the song, looking straight at me.

"_**I think you're pretty, without any make up on  
I think you're funny, when you tell the punch line wrong,  
I know you get me , so I let my walls come down… down.**_

_**Before you met me, I was alright but things were kind of heavy,**_  
_**You brought me to life,**_  
_**now every February, you'll be my valentine, valentine."**_

I could feel my eyes tearing up as I watched him sing, he didn't even take his eyes off me to look at the keys he had to play, he just stared , intensely. This slowed down version was beautiful. It gave me chills.

_**Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance, until we die  
You and I, will be young forever**_

_**You make me feel  
Like I'm livin' a  
Teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away and  
Don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back**_

_**My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance and  
Don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back**_

_**We drove to Cali  
And got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and  
Built a fort out of sheets  
I finally found you  
My missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete**_

_**Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance, until we die  
You and I, will be young forever**_

_**You make me feel  
Like I'm livin' a  
Teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away and  
Don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back**_

_**My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance and  
Don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back**_

_**I'm a get your heart racing  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight**_

I shifted uncomfortably on my chair as he sang. I couldn't deal with this. I know I told him to do it, but I didn't think he would get this intense, be this upset. His eyes were watering , and he was just about to cry, but he stopped the song short, stood up, and went back to his stance of leaning against the piano.

"Satisfied now Rachel?"

I look down at my feet embarrassed. Sam starts clapping , the only one in the room, Marley who was on the other side of him, nudged him on the ribs , making him stop.

"Could you be any more of a jerk?" It was Santana's voice again. I sighed, not looking at her, I kept my eyes on the white board in front of me , pretending this wasn't happening.

"Excuse me?" Blaine's voice was so angry, I was glad I wasn't looking directly at him when he spoke.

"Let's get this straight shall we, just so the whole Glee club are up to date. You dated Rachel and swept her off her feet, making her fall for you a little bit deeper every day, then she finds out what we all already knew, that you are already with someone. That you made a laughing stock out of her. And then, just to show what a real jackass you are, you do a heartfelt song , acting as if you are the victim. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I didn't know whether to feel proud that Santana was sticking up for me or mortified.

"Keep out of stuff you know nothing about. I warned you before, and I will warn you again, you will be out if I have any more back chat."

I couldn't bear the situation any longer, I stood up, clearing my throat.

"I'll go next, I came here to sing, so let's get on with it."

Blaine looks shocked as I march to the front of the class. I tell him the name of the song I want. He shakes his head , taking his seat and starts playing.

_**If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong**_

_**Is it over yet  
Can I open my eyes  
Is this as hard as it gets  
Is this what it feels like to really cry  
Cry**_

I didn't look at Blaine as I sang. I didn't look at anyone. This was my way of telling him that yes, I was sad… but I would move on. We can all move on, pretend like none of it happened. I finished the song to a round of applause, then I took my seat back next to Sam, and convinced him to go next.

The class cheered up a bit as more people sang , and by the end of the session, most people left in high spirits. I hung back, waiting for everyone to leave the room.

Blaine knew I was there, but he chose to flick through some sheet music. I waited an acceptable amount of time for him to acknowledge me, and when he didn't, I launched into what I wanted to say.

"Teenage dream was beautiful . I can see this has been hard for you. And like I said earlier in the hut, Don't beat yourself up about it. Shit happens. Seriously. We both have to work together now and kick some ass at the competitions, I don't want there to be any tension between us , so Let's forget it all… and move on."

He puts the sheet of music down, heaving himself up to sit on the piano, looking at me with sorrowful eyes.

"Do you mean that?"

I nod, I wasn't lying. Unfortunately, however much I hurt inside , I had fallen for him enough to not want him in pain.

"I just want you to be happy now Blaine."

He laughs, bitterly.

"Is that some kind of sick joke?"

I shake my head in confusion.

"No, why would I joke?"

He shrugs.

"Because life is some weird sick joke for me at the moment. I finally, _finally _meet a girl I am crazy about , and I can't be with her."

I raise my eyebrow in question.

"You mean you aren't crazy about this girl you are with? Why be with them then?"

He wasn't making any sense to me. None of this whole sorry situation made sense.

He looked ashamed as he hopped down off the piano.

"Because of money."

Then he walks out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

_**Your reviews are amazing, thanks so much!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 11

I stood there for a minute, wondering whether I should go after him or not. Apparently, I didn't have a choice. My legs, or my heart… decided for me. I ran out into the corridor, catching up with him. He didn't look at me as I walked along side him.

"Money?"

I struggle to keep up with him, he is walking so quick.

"Money. The thing that makes the world go round ya know?"

"I know what it is Blaine. I want you to explain. I'm not leaving you alone until you do."

He lets out a huge sigh, and we exit the NYADA building. Brittany, Santana and Sam were all waiting in the parking lot for me.

I gesture at them to go . The girls start walking off, clutching hands again. Sam runs up to us, clearly not getting the hint.

"Rachel, are you sure you're not going to come back with us? The girls just suggested we go grab a milkshake or something."

Blaine grimaces at this, and starts walking even faster down the fields. I shake my head, trying to keep pace with him as Sam walked along behind.

"A milkshake? How very high school."

I frown at Blaine's words as Sam looks a little put out.

"Wait a minute bro."

To my surprise, Blaine stops, turning to face Sam.

"Are we OK ?"

Blaine shrugs, his golden hazel eyes looked cool as he looked at his friend.

"You tell me."

Sam ran a hand through his hair, it had been getting long lately and it seemed to be a habit of his.

"You just seem… I don't know man. I know you've been through a lot this week, but you just haven't been yourself. You are distant. It's not like you. You need to chill out."

Blaine scoffs, staring at his friend in disbelief.

"How can I chill out when the person I thought was my friend is taking every opportunity to stab me in the back?"

Sam looks baffled at this. I stand there awkwardly, not knowing who to look at. I hated seeing them fight. They were meant to be best friends.

"What? What are you on about? I would never stab you in the back. You are my best friend. "

Blaine looks at me pointedly , then back at Sam.

"You know how unhappy I've been Sam. You were the one person in my life who knew everything. I phoned you up last weekend raving about Rachel." They both look at me now, clearly embarrassed. " I told you that I had met the best girl in the whole world, and the next day, I see you sitting with her at lunch. And everyday since. I also caught you practically having sex with her in her dorm room during a game of twister, seen your puppy dog glances at her, and watched you perv over her in Glee. You just couldn't bear to see me happy, so you have tried to worm your way in. That is not very 'bromance' of you… bro."

He basically spat the words at Sam. I wanted to say something in defense, I had to, I couldn't let them talk to each other like this.

"Blaine, it's not like that. I invited Sam to sit with us the first day at lunch after I met him in singing class, we are friends. It's what friends do. He has never been anything but a gentleman to me, don't get yourself so wound up."

Blaine shakes his head, while Sam stood there glaring at his friend, still unbelieving over what has just been said.

"Don't defend him Rachel. He knew who you were. I told him your name, I told him how beautiful you were, you think it was coincidence that he chose to sit next to you out of everyone in that class?"

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I couldn't really answer that. Had Sam come after me knowing that Blaine liked me? Because if he did, then I could see how it must have felt to Blaine.

Sam rose up to his full height, he was clearly angry.

"Listen, I have already been forced to admit it today, and I will admit it again, I fancy Rachel OK ? She automatically accepted me into her group of friends, she is gorgeous, she is talented , and even though I never meant to hurt you, she deserves better than you. And if you really respected her, you would agree. She is too good to be cheated on."

I watched as Blaine clenched his fists.

"Are you really the best judge of what she deserves Sam? After all, you knew I had someone else but you let her…."

I hold my hands out to both of them, I was tired of this now.

"Shut up. Both of you, quit it. I am here, you don't have to speak about me as if I'm not. Only I can decide what is good enough for me, and at the moment, It's neither of you."

Sam shakes his head, still glaring at Blaine.

"I'm outta here. You coming Rachel?"

I looked sadly as Blaine started marching down the fields once more.

"I'm sorry Sam, I have to…."

Sam stares at me with horror.

"Him? Even after all that was said? Whatever. I'm done."

He walks away in the opposite direction. I wanted to call him back, he was a good guy and I didn't want him to feel shit because of me, but my heart was screaming to run for Blaine. My breathing became fast and hard as I tried to catch him once more. I reached him just before he went to go inside his hut.

He hadn't realised that I was behind him this whole way after the angry exchange, and he looked at me in surprise as I grabbed the keys from his hand, unlocking the hut door and dragged him inside. I shut the door with a bang, and looked him in the eye.

"Explain. I am not leaving until you explain what money has to do with anything."

He rolled his eyes, leaning back against the door.

"Why Rachel? What is the point? I hurt you, I'm an awful person. Why are you here, in my hut, still trying to figure me out?"

The only answer I had was to kiss him. I was as shocked as he was when I practically launched myself at him, pulling him towards me to feel his lips against mine.

He gasps pushing me away gently, searching my face.

"What- what are you doing? Sam was right you know, You don't want someone like me. I hurt you Rachel . I can't treat you like shit and then have you kiss me."

I groan, and cup his face with my hands.

"Stop saying that Blaine. Stop it. Just explain what is going on. Please."

He grabs my hands, and leads me over to the rug. I sit down, and he sits behind me, his legs either side of me, wrapping me up in a hug. It felt good being like this. I felt safe.

"Fine. But you can't judge me anymore than what I am judging myself OK ? It's not a story I am proud of. But I guess I owe you the decency to tell you the full truth."

I nod, turning my face to kiss him on the cheek.

He takes a huge breath of air, then gulped. Obviously it was a story he didn't want to tell.

"A few years ago, I was a jerk. I thought I was a pretty big deal. I had a few people interested in my singing, and my Dad was loaded. Seriously, he had a lot of money and I am ashamed to say, I took it. I never earned the money he gave me, I just expected it. To cut a really long , horrific story short, I lost nearly all my Dad's money in a poker game."

I gasped, turning to look at him in shock.

He nods sadly, confirming what he said was true.

"One lousy poker game. I was drunk, and I bet all my Dads money, not even my money, my Dads. And you know what made me feel even worse about the whole thing? He wasn't angry. He shrugged his shoulders, and he applied for this job to be head of NYADA. Before I lost his fortune , he would never have had to work again. But I fucked it all up for him. I didn't realise how drunk I was, and how much I was betting…. He lost everything because of me."

I didn't know what to say. What could I say? He had done something terrible.

"So ever since he has been working here, I work for him. He wanted me to pursue my music, I told him no. I have no right to do good things when he lost everything because of me. Can you believe he even wanted to PAY for me to attend NYADA , to give me more of a chance." He shook his head bitterly. "After all I done to him, he is still offering me a free ride. I only take now what I earn. And I make sure I earn it as well, I can't bear the thought of my Dad giving me any more hand outs. So yes, I do look at all NYADA students and judge them. I judge them because I was one of them. Getting a free ride. "

I swiveled my body now so I was facing him completely, and I started picking the fluffy rug.

"I get why you would have those feelings now Blaine. It makes sense. But how does…. How come…."

Another look of shame crosses his face as he stares at the fire.

"How does the girl I'm seeing fit into it?"

I nod. I didn't really want to know, but it was something I had to know.

"Well here is the really dickish part. The part that will make you hate me forever. About a year ago, I met this girl here. I thought she seemed cool so we went out for a coffee and started to date. Things went sour pretty quick. By the end of my first two months of being with her, I wanted to dump her. But then my Dad found out who I was seeing, and his whole face lit up. He said he knew her parents well, and that they were stinking rich. As we speak, my Dad is doing some sort of investment or something with the girls Dad, and if I break up with her, my Dad loses the deal. If I stay with her, My Dad has a chance of making everything he lost come back. How can I dump the girl, when it was me who lost everything in the first place? My Dad knows I don't love her. He knows I am staying with her because of this deal. And it is taking way longer than we thought it would. And before you think my Dad is a monster, he has told me to break up with her if I am so unhappy."

I sigh. I understood now. And I think I hurt even more now , knowing the full truth.

"But you won't? You won't break up with her?"

He shakes his head as he stares into my eyes.

"Not until my Dad has the money I lost him back. "

I nod. , then stared down at the rug again. I had nothing else to say now. I decided I might as well leave. Now I knew everything, it was time to go.

I don't know what hurt worse, the fact that I thought he was cheating on me, or the fact that he didn't even like the girl he was with.

I stood up, walking over to the door.

I hear some noise behind me, he was standing up as well.

"You're leaving?"

I don't look at him as I nod my head.

"You know Rachel, it never bothered me before now. I didn't give a shit. The fact I was with a girl I had no feelings for never annoyed me, I had done wrong, and this was my way of making it up to my Dad."

He sighs.

"And then you happened."

I looked at him, my eyes swimming with tears. This was the second time today I had been in his hut and neither time had been pleasant. What could I say to him?

"I didn't mean to walk into your life and shit you up Blaine. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, laughing at my words.

"So I just told you that I have a girlfriend even though I have been dating you the last week, that I lost all my Dad's money in a poker game when I was too young to gamble, that I don't love , or even particularly like the girl I'm with, and _you _are the one saying sorry.?"

I shrugged, tucking a strand of hair that had escaped my loose pony tail behind my ear.

"I understand that you have to do this. I also know that what we had, whether it was for a day , a week or years … it was special. I knew it from the moment we shook hands in the entrance hall at NYADA. And in a way, it makes it harder, knowing what could have been. But it also makes me happy. It makes me smile knowing that you weren't some player who just wanted a load of girls at once. Because I know that you did have feelings for me. It sounds stupid, but I have never been so certain of whatever this was being real than anything in my life. And maybe someday… if it's right… we will find each other again."

It was weird to think jut a while ago we had been in Glee club, and now we were here, speaking like this. I open the door, but he comes up behind me, pulling it shut again.

I had the intention of telling him to let me go, to make it easier on both of us. I was supposed to tell him that I couldn't look at him right now, that it was too hard.

Instead, he placed a finger over his lips, indicating I should be quiet. . I watched him with a confused look as he takes his phone out of his pocket, presses a few buttons and holds it to his ear. His gaze never leaves me as he listens into the phone. I hear somebody's voice answer. It was her. I wince as she squeals into the phone with delight, I could hear everything.

Blaine listens as the woman talks without pausing for breath, when she has finished, he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

I hear a pause on the line, I wanted to look away but I couldn't. I listen as she asks what he meant.

"I can't be with you anymore. It isn't working out. You know it isn't. Doing t over the phone is cowardly, and I apologise for that, but I can't do it anymore. Let's meet up, tonight, clear the air, and go our separate ways."

I look away fully now as I hear some sobbing down the phone. I felt like a home wrecker. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell him to stop.

"Let's meet tonight, usual time. I have some stuff I have needed to say to you for a while."

He listens as she agrees to meet, then hangs up the phone.

A few minutes go by as we just stand there, him looking at me, me looking at the floor.

"Rachel, look at me."

I don't. I carry on staring at the floor.

"Baby girl, look at me Please."

He tilts my head up gently so I have no choice.

"I- I… I didn't ask you to do that."

He looks bewildered at my words.

"I know you didn't."

"What about your Dad?"

The mix of emotions that crosses his face at my words are easy to read, humiliation, guilt, anger.

"I will get him his money back. If it takes me the rest of my life, I will pay him back what I took from him. But that wasn't the way to do it. And I only just realised that now, with you stood here. I can't let you walk away. I can't do it."

I still had no idea what to do. The fact that he had just done something so huge, for me, was crazy. I didn't want him to resent me for being the one who messed up his plans of getting money.

"I have to walk away. You will never be happy with me, not now you done that. It will eat away at you."

He laughs, holding my face in his strong hands.

"I have always known I was wrong staying with her. You just made me realise how wrong. And what you just aid, never being happy with you? That's crazy. I've known you for a week and I would quite happily take a bullet for you Rachel. I feel lighter after that phone call. It had to happen."

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath before looking at him.

"So… what do we do now?"

His eyes sparkle at my question as a half-smile appears on his lips.

"I go and make my peace tonight. I explain to her how wrong it was to have stayed with her knowing I didn't love her. And you go home, and all I can ask is… think about it . Think about us. Just because I ended it with her Rachel, doesn't mean I expect you to fall into my arms. I hurt you , whatever my reasons, I hurt you. And you have to make up your mind if you could be with someone who has already hurt you so early on. Because I know you must have doubts. Then, on Monday, I will be waiting for you. Whatever you choose, I will wait."

I smile up at him. I gasped as he pulled me into his arms, and kissed me. It was like a first kiss and a last kiss all wrapped up into one. I felt dizzy as I walked down the hut steps, looking back at him before he shut the door.

"I'll be seeing you."

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way home.

I certainly thought about it over the weekend. I done nothing but think. I told Britt all about it, and her eyes widened in surprise as the story went on. She told me that she would stand by me whatever I had to do. She also reminded me that I got her and Santana back on track after the unthinkable had happened with them, and that things always worked out in the end.

Leaving for NYADA on Monday morning, there were only two things on my mind that day. Giving Blaine my answer, and mending my friendship with Sam. The argument him and Blaine had was weighing on my mind. I didn't want anyone falling out over me, and I really did like Sam as a friend.

I left Britt at the parking lot, telling her I would see her in acting class soon. I still had fifteen minutes before class, and I wanted to get the first thing out of the way. I walked quickly to the hut, my heart thumping with each step I took. I was nervous, but I knew I was making the right choice. I felt it in my heart.

I knocked on the hut door, my belly somersaulting as I straightened my skirt and tucked my hair behind my ears. I imagined how it would go in my head. I was here to tell him I wanted to give things a go. I was here to tell him, that no matter what _had _happened, that it wouldn't affect us from now on. It was a clean slate. Would he do that grin that I found so sexy? Would he pull me into his arms, kissing me until I felt dizzy and faint. Would his eyes dance and sparkle like they did when we were laughing together?

I took a deep breath as the hut door opened, I couldn't help the smile on my face.

It soon disappeared when I saw who had answered the door.

I knew it was Monday morning, but surely I wasn't that tired. Last time I checked, Blaine wasn't a young, blonde, stunningly pretty girl in nothing but a towel around her middle.

She looked at me in confusion. I stared up at her with my mouth open.

"Can I help you?" She asks, a perfectly arched eyebrow raised in question.

"Uh… I uh…. I was looking for Blaine. Who are you?"

She grins at me, holding a manicured hand out for me to shake.

"I'm Quinn Fabray, Blaine's fiancée."


	12. Chapter 12

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 12

Obviously I was dreaming. I had to be. Not dreaming, having a nightmare. It was the only explanation. Maybe if I shake her hand, it will rouse me into waking up, reminding me this isn't real.

I reach out timidly, she grabs my hand, shaking it hard. It seemed I was still awake. I stare at her open-mouthed.

"I'm sorry… you're what?"

The pretty blonde beams at me, her teeth white and even. She really was stunning.

"I'm Blaine's Fiancée. And you are?"

It wasn't a dream. It was really happening. My heart seemed to be thudding too fast. I was sure that at any minute it would drop out of my stomach. I felt tears behind my eyes. I couldn't cry. Not here. I wouldn't cry.

"Rachel B-Berry. I uh… I…"

She stares at me. She seemed to be getting more confused by the minute. What could I say to her? I'm the girl your fiancé has been cheating on you with? Fiancé? How could this be. He broke up with her the other night. I heard him. I heard her. What was going on?.

"I just needed some keys for a store cupboard. It doesn't matter . I can come back later."

Her smile returned at my words. I couldn't tell if I didn't like her because she was the woman who had just tore my heart in two, or if I just didn't like her in general. She was beautiful but she seemed… fake. Her smile wasn't genuine.

"Yes, maybe that is for the best. Blaine is erm… busy at the moment."

I felt sick. Why was this happening. I was just about to leave when I heard some noise behind Quinn. The wood from the hut made a lot of noise whenever somebody moved. I should know. I had experienced it first hand.

Blaine came walking up behind Quinn. Thankfully, he was fully clothed. I don't think I could have handled it if he had walked out in a towel as well.

His eyes widened as he saw me. His jaw dropped. Guilt written all over his face. The thing about Blaine was… he didn't have a poker face. He would make a shit liar.

"Rachel, what .. what are you doing here?"

I muster up all the strength I could manage and look him in the eye.

"You told me to come remember? You wanted me to make a choice. You wanted me to think about it." He looks at Quinn quickly who still had a fake smile plastered on her face. I decide to make it easy for him, though he doesn't deserve it.

"You wanted me to make a choice about what materials to choose from the store cupboard. But I can see you have had other things on your mind. I hear congratulations are in order?"

How I managed to smile at the end I will never know.

More guilt crosses his face as he runs a hand through his curls.

"Oh. Materials. Right. We can go through it later if you want? Come back around lunch time."

I notice how he doesn't respond to my congratulations. He was deliberately avoiding it. I shake my head, never taking my gaze off him.

"There is no need now. I had come to tell you I decided it was a yes. That I wanted to use the materials you suggested. But now I realised… I don't need them. Sam was right all along. He told me not to bother with the materials. I should have listened."

I watch him as he looks down at the floor sadly. Good. I wanted him to be hurt. I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. Although that was a long shot, I wasn't the one with a fiancé after all.

I walk down the three wooden steps.

"Rachel, wait."

As my feet hit the grass, I turn to face him and Quinn, folding my arms across my chest.

"Sam is wrong. Come over at lunchtime. I promised I would help you with the materials. I meant it."

I raise my eyebrow and laugh.

"And I meant what I said. I don't need them now. Maybe I never did."

I glance at Quinn one more time, noting her look of bewilderment, then I walk across the fields. I don't cry. I won't cry. As I near the NYADA building, I see a familiar blonde head with a checked shirt getting out of his car. I run over to him, flinging myself into his arms as he slams the door car door shut.

I bury my head in his shoulder. He hesitates at first, then wraps his arms around me, soothing patterns into my back as I grip on to him. I won't cry. I won't cry.

"Rachel… what… what's wrong? I thought after Friday we were… well. You know."

I shake my head and squeeze him tighter.

"I'm sorry Sam. I'm sorry."

He smooths my hair down and tilts my chin up so I am looking at him.

"It's OK . Forget it. What's wrong?"

I shake my head again, squeezing my eyes shut. He can't see me cry. Nobody can see me cry over Blaine Anderson anymore.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. Sam was looking down at me in concern. I still had my arms wrapped around him. He had one hand still on my chin and the other resting lightly on my shoulder.

"You were right."

He looks confused for a second, then recognition hits his face.

"Blaine?"

He sounds bitter when he says the name. I guess Blaine had made a few people feel shit over the last week, not just me.

I nod, then finally let go of Sam, leaning against his car.

"I just met his fiancée. She's beautiful."

Sam had been fiddling with the hem of his shirt, but his mouth dropped when I spoke. He stared at me in disbelief.

"What? His what? You mean Quinn?"

I nod, wincing at the name. Her name now stabbed me like a knife whenever it was mentioned.

"So Blaine and Quinn are… they are engaged?"

"It's usually what fiancée means… yes. "

Sam mouths wow, then leans against the car next to me. I barely came up to his shoulder when we were side by side like this.

"She's got nothing on you."

I look at him, a little smile tugging at my lips despite my sadness.

"Why are you so nice to me Sam?"

He shrugs, running a hand through his floppy blonde hair.

"I figure you will come in handy when you are famous. If I keep you on side I can get in to all the celeb parties and stuff."

I laugh.

"Good plan. You are a clever man Sam Evans."

The bell rings for first classes. He holds his arm out to me so I can link mine through and we head into school together.

"Will you be OK this morning?"

I nod, squeezing his arm a little.

"I'll see you at lunch OK ? I have Britt in my acting class this morning, and you this afternoon in singing. I will get through. Thanks Sam. You are a star."

He gives me a dimpled smile before walking off in the opposite direction.

I quickly fill Britt in on Quinn and Blaine before we have to start work in class. She looked as shocked as I felt.

I tried my best not to think of Quinn, standing there in her towel, in Blaine's hut. But I couldn't help the thought sometimes creeping into my head. And every time it did, it felt like I had been punched in the gut. It wasn't just an emotional pain, it was a physical one.

We walk into the canteen and Britt gets us some food, trying to convince me to eat something. We sit down at our table, Sam, Jake and Marley were already there.

Sam smiles at me from across the table.

"Still holding up?"

I smile weakly and nod at him, pushing my tray of food away, much to Britt's annoyance. Sam grabs my tray and sets it in front of him. Then he slides a chocolate bar across the table to me.

"Chocolate. The cure for everything."

He starts tucking in to what was my lunch and I throw him another grateful smile before I unwrap my chocolate bar. I was half way through when the cheerleaders walked in, sitting at our table like usual. Tina, Kitty , Santana and… no. This could not be happening. I put the chocolate bar down on the table as I stare at Quinn. She was sitting almost opposite me, next to Sam. She was wearing a cheerio's uniform, her blonde hair in a high pony.

Sam looks from her to me in shock, as she stares at me with distaste and confusion. She was still probably wondering what that conversation with Blaine meant earlier. I felt nauseous as Britt leaned over to shake Quinn's hand.

"I didn't know we had a new cheerleader! Hey, I'm Britt."

She takes her eyes away from me , and the fake smile from earlier comes back as she shakes Britts hand with enthusiasm.

"Hey! Nice to meet you, I'm Quinn."

Britt drops Quinn's hand as if she has been scolded.

"Quinn? As in caretakers fiancée Quinn?"

She raises an eyebrow, throwing me a look of disgust.

"Yes. That Quinn. Wow, word sure gets around fast."

"Uh actually, I told everyone. I was happy for Blaine and wanted to share the good news. How are you Quinn? Been a few months since I saw you."

Yet again, Sam comes to the rescue. As soon as Quinn takes her angry glare of me, I mouth thank you.

"I'm good Sam. Back in my rightful place , as you can see. Oh and uh… Britt was it? I'm not just a new cheerleader. I am the head cheerleader."

She shoots a dirty look at Britt and then at me. She had obviously taken an instant dislike to both of us. Sam looks at me, then frowns at Quinn.

"Yeah, about that…. What are you doing back here? You left?"

She rolls her pretty eyes, they were an unusual colour. It pained me to look at how beautiful she actually was. It wasn't hard to see what had initially attracted Blaine.

"No shit Sherlock, still as dumb as ever."

I slam my hand down on the table, I hadn't realised I was getting angrier by the minute.

"Hey. Don't speak to him like that. I have already chucked a drink over one cheerleaders head, don't make me do it to you too."

Kitty rolls her eyes at this, biting into an apple, while Quinn continues speaking to Sam as if I had never spoken.

"I decided I missed Blaine too much so I transferred back here. It feels right to see out my last year at the place I started."

I felt like screaming. The thought of seeing her everyday filled me with dread.

I gasp as Blaine walks into the cafeteria , broom in hand, a look of guilt that seemed to just be a part of him now. I should have known he would come in here, he did every day last week. It was his job after all. I guess I had just hoped he would back off a little bit and give me time to process what had happened. Sam turns to see what I'm looking at. When he realises, he stands up, his jaw set in a hard line. He picks his tray up and walks over to me, squeezing in between me and Britt. He leans over before Blaine reaches the table.

"Stay calm. Pretend he's not there. Just talk to me."

I nod, but I was still looking at Blaine. I couldn't help it. He was just so handsome. All the memories from last week came back. The feel of his skin on mine, the way he kissed me, the way we just seemed to spend all night laughing.

"Rachel, look at me. Talk to me. Seriously, I know you are hurting, but I have been in the company of Blaine and Quinn many times before and it's…."

Before he could finish the sentence, Quinn stood up, pulling Blaine to the table. I tried to ignore the stabs of pain as she grabbed his hand, kissing him on the cheek.

"Here's my man! I've missed you so much today."

I was still staring when she basically straddled him, ticking her tongue down his throat. Now I knew what Sam meant. I look at him, my eyes shining with tears. I repeated my mantra in my head. I won't cry, I won't cry, I won't cry.

"I tried to tell you. I'm sorry. She is just like that. She is overkill."

I nod again. I figured I better talk to make it seem like it wasn't bothered. But everyone knew I was . Everyone but Quinn. It didn't help that I could see Britt beside Sam, her mouth open in shock as Quinn and Blaine performed a soft porn show next to the table.

I vaguely heard Blaine telling her to stop because he was at work. Then I decided for my own good, I had to drown it out. I had to be here everyday and I was damned if I was going to chuck away my whole NYADA education for Blaine Anderson.

"So, singing class after lunch."

They were the only words I could manage, my voice felt stuck. Sam bobbed his head up and down, focusing on only me. It made me feel calm.

"Yep. You will kill it, you always do. And uh… Glee club?"

He asks it as a question. His kind blue eyes look into mine. I couldn't help but smile as he carried on eating food from both his tray and the one he had taken from me.

"I'm not going to let a little thing like having my heart ripped out stop me doing something I love."

He winces as I say the words, I have to try and remember that this was hard on him as well. He had feelings for me and my heartbreak over another man was obvious.

"You realise Quinn will be there?" His voice is barely a whisper. We didn't want to be over heard. "She was in Glee Club when she used to attend here, so I imagine she will be now."

I had suspected as much. I let out a gentle sigh, careful not to let anyone else but him hear me.

"It's fine. I will just have to crush her with my singing."

He chuckles, taking a slurp of his drink but never breaking eye contact. It was working. I had no clue if anyone else was still at the table while I focused on only him.

"I don't doubt it."

I smile, wanting to hug him. He was tall and broad enough that he managed to block out the whole world for me. But I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to lead Sam on and I definitely wasn't trying to make Blaine jealous , no matter how much I was hurting at that point.

"Sam… are we cool?"

I try not to shudder as I realise Blaine is right beside me, looking down at us. It takes all my willpower to not get up and walk away. I grip on to my seat with both hands, thinking that if I hold on, it won't make me go.

I look away from Sam, realising that all the cheerleaders had left the table. Quinn was nowhere to be seen. It was only me, Sam, Britt, Jake and Marley now, all of which were staring at Blaine like he was a three headed monster.

"I don't think we will ever be 'cool' again."

I turn back to gape at Sam, his voice sounded colder than I had ever heard it. I watched in horror as he gave Blaine, his former best friend, the dirtiest look I had ever seen.

"You know my situation man. Why are you being like this? Even after everything I said to you on Friday, you are still sniffing around Rachel."

Sam stands up, kicking his chair away, his fists clenched in anger. I jump up with him, placing my hand on his chest, still not daring to look at Blaine.

"Sam, don't. Please. Don't."

Sam looks at me, his expression softening a little, then he glares at Blaine.

"I was sympathetic to your situation before last week. You were in relationship you didn't want, trying to make it up to your Dad, I knew it sucked for you . Then you dragged an innocent person into all your shit, accused me, your best friend, of trying to steal the innocent person, and then, just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any shittier, you break the innocent persons heart. And you think I'm the bad guy in this?"

I felt Blaine's eyes on me as Sam finished his speech. I couldn't look at either of them, so I stared at Sam's chest instead.

"When you put it like that, yes.. I've been a jerk."

I scoff . Jerk was an understatement.

"But the 'innocent person' won't give me a chance to explain what's happened. What the hell am I supposed to do? I didn't expect to lose my best friend through the whole mess."

I look up at him then, trying to be braver than what I felt. His eyes caught me unawares. The gold around the hazel green was breath taking. They looked extra huge right now. They were pleading with me.

"You haven't lost your best friend. I never wanted that to happen." I look at Sam, unable to look at Blaine and his puppy dog eyes anymore. "Sam, you stay here and patch things up with him." Sam was about to protest but I cut him off. "I mean it. Until you have sorted it , I won't be able to look at you properly. Please. You were best friends. For me?" He reluctantly nods. I turn back to Blaine before I lose all my strength. "And you, you haven't lost your best friend. You lost me. And you can't lose what you never had."

He inhales sharply at my words, his eyes betraying what he tried to keep hidden. My words had just hurt him.

I muster up the last of my courage , forcing a strained smile.

"Quinn is beautiful. I hope you are very happy together. See you in Glee club later."

I throw a quick smile at Sam before walking off, hoping that they would patch things up.

My heart, not for the first time that day, was in pieces.


	13. Chapter 13

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 13

In singing class that afternoon, Mr Schuester was in a foul mood. He wasn't the only one. Jake and Marley had a tiff at lunchtime, I was in a mood for obvious reasons and the whole class in general seemed in a funk.  
The only one who seemed relatively happy was Sam. He had briefly informed me that him and Blaine had settled things after I walked away and that they were back on track. I was happy for them, I really was. But I knew it would be hard being friends with Sam when his best friend was the man who had been capable of breaking my heart in just a week.  
By the time we made our way to Glee club, the only one smiling was Sam. I sat next to him in the choir room, saying hi to Britt and Santana as they came and sat the other side of me. Britt clutched my hand.

"You don't have to be here you know."

I smile and squeezed her hand.

"Yes I do."

I take a deep breath as Quinn walks in the room. Instead of taking a seat at the back with the rest of us, she perches herself on top of the piano, giving me and Britt daggers.

Santana leans over, grabbing mine and Britt's hands together.

"That bitch stole my title of head cheerleader. I've got your back Rach. We all have. Nobody liked her when she was here before due to her ability to be a stuck up princess used to getting her own way, and we certainly don't like her this time round."

I couldn't help but feel touched at Santana's words. I mouthed thank you at her, then sat back in my seat, the three of us holding hands. Sam noticed what was happening and grabbed my other hand. Despite the support from my friends, My heart still felt like it was about to drop out of my stomach when Blaine walked in.  
He glanced at me quickly, and walked over to the piano. I watched as Quinn wrapped her arms around him and started kissing his neck. He pushed her off.

"Quinn, go and sit with the others."

Her jaw drops at his cold tone.

"I'm your fiancée. You don't need to treat me as if I'm one of them."

Her teeth were gritted as she speaks, but we still all heard what she said.  
He looks at her, not with the love of a boyfriend, but with contempt.

"In this room, you are one of them. Not my fiancée, not my anything, but a student. Go and sit down before I have to throw you out of the class."

Santana does nothing to stifle her giggles as Quinn stomps furiously to the back, sitting down and crossing her arms.  
He glares at Santana.

"You are dangling by a thread anyway Santana, don't make me chuck you out as well."

Quinn scoffs, I turn around and throw her a dirty look. She pretends not to notice.

"You are such a jerk. You really think that anyone respects you in this room? You need a personality transplant, pronto."

I gasp at Santana's words. I squeeze her hand then lean over Britt.

"It's OK , you don't have to. It's not worth it."

Blaine drops a sheet music book he had been holding , making a loud bang that echoed across the room. He looks at her with more anger than even I knew he possessed.

"Get out." He hisses.

I have to speak up, this is awful. I didn't want any of this to be happening because of me.

"She didn't mean it. She's just.. she's had a bad day. It's not nice to have somebody swan in and take your place. Let's just get on with the lesson."

As much as he had hurt me, I couldn't help but feel my belly somersault as his eyes changed from hard to soft when he looked at me. He carried on looking as he speaks.

"We all have bad days. It doesn't give us the right to mouth off at everyone." He looks at Santana again now, the steel in his eyes coming back. "Get out. Don't make me say it again."

She smirks as she stands up, then walks right up to him.

"You need to be careful about throwing people out of classes Mr Anderson. You never know who could go running their mouth off." She swings her pony tail and struts out of the classroom.

Brittany stands up and looks at me.

"I'm sorry Rachel, but I can't stay here. Not with him."

She follows Santana out of the classroom, quickly followed by Tina and Kitty. I stare at them open-mouthed as one by one, everyone starts to leave.  
Jake scrapes his chair back and shoots Marley a dirty look.

"I didn't want to be here anyway today."

Marley sniffles as she watches him go, then runs out of the classroom, her hands over her face as she goes.  
It was only me, Sam and Quinn left. Sam stands up uneasily.

"Bro, I know uh… I know we patched things up earlier. But that was not cool. You can't keep taking your shit out on other people. When you sort it out, I will happily come back."

Blaine leans against the piano, defeat written all over his face as he watches Sam go.  
To my astonishment, Quinn stands up before me.

"No point in staying in a Glee club with no members. You can ring me tonight and apologise profusely about the way you just spoke to me."

She glares at me before walking out, her blonde hair bobbing behind her.  
I stand up, fiddling with the hem of my cardigan.

"Ironic how you are the last one here when everybody walked out in defence of you. You better go catch them all up and have a bitching session about me."

I clear my throat and walk up to him.

"I'm not going anywhere. Now let's get on with the session shall we?"

His eyes widen as he stares at me, bewildered.

"What? You can't stay here. They walked out because of you Rachel. You have to go."

I shake my head, facing the empty chairs.

"I came here for Glee club. I didn't ask any of them to walk out. Nothing will ever get back to normal if everybody is going to act like this all the time. Sit."

I point to the piano. He frowns , then takes a seat.

"I'm going to sing Without You. We need some strong songs for the competition and it's one I thought we should try out."

He lets out a deep sigh.

"I can't play that song for you. I'm not going to sit here while you sing about how I broke your heart."

I shrug.

"I can sing it a capella. And don't be so big-headed. It's not about you. Not everything is about you."

He sighs again and starts playing.

**I can't win, I can't reign**

**I will never win this game**

**Without you, without you**

**I am lost, I am vain,**

**I will never be the same**

**Without you, without you**

**I won't run, I won't fly**

**I will never make it by**

**Without you, without you**

**I can't rest, I can't fight**

**All I need is you and I,**

**Without you, without you**

I power through the song, not realising that by the end I had a tear streaming down my cheek. I wiped it off quickly, hoping he didn't see. There goes my promise to not cry over him.

I stiffen as he walks up behind me. I can feel his breath on my neck. Another tear falls down as he wraps his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Please , stop this. It's no good torturing yourself Rachel. I have hurt you so bad, and you can't bear to be near me. I can't see you like this. I can't face you knowing I am the one who has done this."

"I just don't get it Blaine. You dumped her. I heard. I was there. And now you're both blissfully engaged? How?"

I gently take his arms from my waist and turn to face him. I wanted to look into his eyes.

He shrugged sadly, now I was close to him I could tell he hadn't been sleeping well. Everything was such a mess.

"She uh… I… It's a long story. Why bother? You don't want to listen to it so …."

I twiddle my hair round my fingers. I needed to keep still, but I couldn't stop fidgeting.

"I'm here aren't I? I'm listening. And you don't have anything else to do considering your whole Glee club walked out on you. So tell me. I can't be any more hurt than what I already am so you may as well explain it to me."

He grabs my hand and marches me over to the choir room chairs, making me sit. He sits beside me, then studies his hands as he starts talking.

"Friday night, I went to meet her. She was being pretty reasonable and calm which surprised me. I've known her a long time now and I know how high maintenance she can be. As we ordered some food, I told her how sorry I was about breaking up with her over the phone. I told her I knew it was a cowardly thing to do but that I couldn't keep it in any longer. I said that I had felt that way for a while. She done her famous smirk, and told me she knew."

I frown, looking at his face while he spoke.

"Knew what? That you didn't feel the same as her?"

He shakes his head, his mouth curving into a bitter smile.

"No. She said she knew that I had been using her. She said she has known from the beginning. She wanted to see how long it would take for me to cave."

I gasp, my mouth hanging open.

"Wait, so she knew you were only with her for your Dad? To get your Dad's money back?"

He nods.

"I don't how. But she knew."

"So… how did… why are you… how did you end up engaged?"

He hangs his head, speaking so quietly I can only just hear him.

"After she told me she had known all along, she produced two ring boxes. She opened them up, a his and hers ring. And she just said … we are getting married."

He held up his hand, an expensive looking ring adorned his finger. It felt like a stab in the heart seeing it officially on him. How did I not notice it before?

"I laughed. In fact, I laughed so loudly the whole restaurant turned to stare at us. I thought she had broke down or something. I thought she had went crazy. She knew that I had been using her, she knew I didn't love her, and she tells me we are getting married. I laughed until she kicked me under the table making me stop."

I shake my head, I was so confused.

"But you agreed to it anyway?"

He looks up at me now, taking both of my hands I his. I tried not to stare at the wedding ring.

"Of course I didn't Rachel. I know I have been a complete jerk but I wouldn't have just accepted it would I ? All I could think about when she was opposite me was you. I could only see your face. I know it sounds crazy , I know we have only known each other less than two weeks, but I pictured myself giving you a ring one day. ."

I shake his hands off and stand up, walking over to the whiteboard. I couldn't be near him, not when he had just said that. He couldn't be serious. We hardly knew each other.

He sighs, and slumps back in his chair.

"Don't get all freaked out. I'm just trying to be honest. Sometimes, you just know. You just know when somebody is right for you, and I can't help my feelings for you. I can't help that I've fallen in love with you."

I gasp . I felt dizzy and faint. This could not be happening.

"How… how can you say that when you are sitting there with an engagement ring Blaine? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

He stands up, kicking his chair down in anger. He looked so pained.

"If I don't marry Quinn, she will finish my Dad. Not only will her Dad not go through with the deal, they will squeeze everything he has now out of him. And I know they will. They have ways. Quinn and her Dad won't be satisfied until they see my Dad on the streets if I don't go through with it."

I knew he was upset, but I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

"So do what anyone else would do then. Tell him. Warn your Father. He didn't want you to be unhappy because of him, you told me that. He wouldn't want this for you."

He starts pacing the choir room, he looked so desolate.

"It's not that simple. She… I can't…. she's going to ruin me as well."

I knew he was upset, but I was seriously close to walking out. This Monday had been never ending and I had definitely had enough Blaine Anderson drama for one day.

I start walking to the door, trying not to notice his sorrowful gaze on me as I reached for the handle.

Before I could open the door, he walks up, leaning against the door so I can't leave.

"She told me that if I didn't marry her, she will ruin my Dad, and she will ruin me. She's going to tell people that I abuse her. That I beat her up."

I laugh again, though I felt guilty when I saw his hurt look on his face.

"Oh come on. Anyone would be able to see she is lying, it's not something to joke about."

"Yeah. That's what I thought. I walked out of the restaurant and she followed. Outside, on the street, she took her shoe off. Her high heeled shoe. And she hit herself in the stomach with it, as hard as she could."

I felt sick at his words. She wouldn't do that. Surely not. She couldn't be that much of a nutter.

"What? She… she deliberately hurt herself?"

He nods , looking into my eyes. His were shining with tears and at that moment, the heartache of the day washed away, just like that. He was going through hell, it was plain to see.

"We were under a street light, it had already started bruising up. To anyone else, it would look like someone had just whacked her one. Then she…. "

He gulped, resting his head against the door. I cupped his face in my hands forcing him to look at me. I didn't want him to hurt anymore. I felt like I would throw up any minute, this was too much to take in.

"She uh… yanked her own ear-ring out."

I blinked in shock and dropped my hands away from his face.

"Excuse me?"

"She ripped her own ear-ring out Rachel. She tore it from her ear, and she didn't make a sound. There was blood just dripping on to her shoulder, and she didn't even flinch. Then she looked me in the eye and said she would tell everyone I done it. And that she was capable of doing more."

I grabbed him into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. I could feel his heart thumping wildly. He snaked his arms around my waist, holding on to me for dear life.

"You can't stay with her. I will make sure everyone knows you didn't do it. We will tell people she's crazy Blaine. If she went to the police, surely they would have to have your fingerprints or something for proof. You can't stay with her because she's blackmailing you, if she is capable of that, she could hurt you."

He inhales sharply, then held me at arms length, searching my face.

"If I leave her, she's going to kill you."

I take a step back, my eyes wide with fear. He runs his hand down my cheek as I shake my head frantically.

"She knows that I was seeing someone last week. Don't ask me how, but she knows. After she made her ear bleed, I started to walk away, telling her she was off her rockers and that nobody would believe her. I said the same thing as you, I said the police would need evidence. And that is when she dealt me the last card. That is when she told me that she would kill my new girlfriend."

My mouth feels dry as I try to search for words. Words to make him see it wasn't possible.

"But…. she would have… she would have done it. She's been here all day. I've seen her multiple times. She's all talk. She's not going to try anything."

"She doesn't know who you are. She said he would make it her mission to find out who I had been seeing if I leave her. When you turned up at my door this morning, I …. I have never felt so panicked in my whole life. If she figures out it's you…. I can't…."

His breathing was fast and heavy as he spoke, his eyes looked frantic. He was scared.

"I have two choices Rachel. I can marry Quinn and live an unhappy life, which quite frankly… I deserve. It was my mistake after all, I'm the one that got myself in to the whole mess. Or, I can leave her, ruin my Dad, probably go to jail myself for allegedly beating her up and have your death on my hands. Come on now, it isn't a choice. It's simple. You know, I can cope with my Dad being ruined, I can cope with being labelled a woman beater because I know I'm not. I would fight for my Dad, and I would fight for my innocence. But I can't…. I just can't put you in danger. You need to stay away. I mean it. It is going to tear me up seeing you every day knowing I can't be with you, but I can't even begin to explain what it would do if you… if she…."

I pull him to me, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'm not scared of her Blaine."

He groans in frustration, and rests his head against mine so we are nose to nose.

"Rachel. Don't. Don't make this any harder for me. For us. Please. I shouldn't have told you anything, but now I have, you have to act like you don't know. You have to act like you don't even know me."

I shrug, pulling away to look at him properly.

"Everyone knows what went on between us last week, you really think Quinn isn't going to hear it from somebody else?"

He closes his eyes, his jaw set in a hard-line.

"She could find out. But most people hate her guts, so the chances of somebody willingly telling her what she wants to know are slim. Besides, if she does find out, it shouldn't matter. I agreed to marry her. She said she would carry out the threats if I leave her. But to be on the safe side, you need to keep away."

"You expect me to watch from the side lines as your whole life crumbles away with a girl you hate?"

He shakes his head, managing to raise a little smile.

"I will catch her out. When she is in one of rants, I will make sure she is found out. I have already thought of bugging the hut and wearing recording equipment all the time to catch her out. But for now, she is playing the perfect fiancée. It's going to take time, but I don't intend on letting her get her own way forever."

I felt selfish asking the next question, but I knew I had to.

"Are you…. This morning when she was in just the towel…. Are you two , well you know?"

I couldn't say the words, it hurt me too much to say out loud.

"Are we sleeping together? No. We haven't slept together for nearly eight months. She eventually stopped pestering me for it when she realised I didn't want to anymore. But if she starts again now we are 'engaged' , I will have to think of something."

I let out a sigh of relief, unable to hide my emotions.

"So you want me to just walk away now, and pretend like I don't even know you?"

He kisses me on the top of my head, nodding.

"Yes. You have to. Judging by the other night, I don't know how far she will go. And I need you to keep your distance. We will figure something out Rachel. I won't let her win. But until then…."

I nod in understanding, then tilt my head up to kiss him again. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see his face. I couldn't stand the hurt and anger that were in his eyes.

I walk away, trying desperately not to cry again. Before I walk through the door, I glance back at him and muster up a smile.

"I'll be seeing you."

He smiles sadly at my words, then I walk away quickly, my head and heart hurting with each step. I knew what I had to do. Tomorrow, I was going to tell Quinn everything, despite Blaine's warnings.

I had meant what I said in the choir room.

I wasn't scared.

**A/N - THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. YOU ARE ALL SO KIND! THERE IS A BIT OF A PLOT TWIST COMING UP SO KEEP READING AND THANKS AGAIN! **


	14. Chapter 14

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 14

That night, I didn't get any sleep. I was tossing and turning in bed, and each time I started to drift off, I had the image of Quinn in my head, ripping her own earring out .  
I knew it sounded crazy, but even though Blaine had told me she would kill me if he left her, I didn't feel scared. Well, at least, not scared for me. I felt scared for him. He was in an awful position, and I couldn't believe the overwhelming need I had of wanting to protect him. I kept picturing his devastated face as he explained the story to me, and sadness gripped my heart.  
I climbed out of bed on Tuesday feeling groggy and anxious at what I had to do today. I showered and decided to wear my green dress with white stars, black pumps, and put my hair in a side braid, then I left the room before Brittany had even woke.  
I started heading for the NYADA grounds. I didn't know whether Quinn would be at Blaine's hut or not again this morning. The thought made me feel ill. I hated the thought of Blaine having to spend time with her when he didn't want to, but I also hated the fact that he was that close to another girl, even if I knew the truth behind it all. I couldn't help feeling jealous.

As the hut came into view, my heart rate sped up. I couldn't speak to her if she were at the hut anyway, I didn't want Blaine to know what I had planned to do.  
As I drew closer, I saw the door open. I hid behind the nearest tree, hoping I hadn't been seen. It was still really early and if Blaine saw me, he would know that I was here for a reason.  
I watched as he stepped out of the hut in his work overalls, locking the door behind him. That meant that Quinn wasn't in the hut. I pressed myself against the tree as he headed straight for me, sighing in relief as he walked straight past and towards the NYADA building.

I decided to explore the NYADA grounds while I was waiting for classes to start. I had nothing else to do and needed to pass the time. Besides , after everything that had happened in the last week, I hadn't had the chance to look round properly.

Despite everything on my mind that morning, I couldn't help but smile as I looked at the beauty of the old university. It really was magnificent here, and I couldn't believe that I had got in. I was living my dream and had spent the first week in a drama with Blaine. Once all this Quinn business was out of the way, I vowed to enjoy being here.

I wandered down the cheerleading camp, and into the football fields. As I walked along, gazing at everything in awe, my eyes were drawn to a single car in the football field parking lot. I knew that car. I ran towards it with a smile on my face. I hadn't spoken to Sam since he walked out of Glee club on Friday, but I knew we were OK now. I knew that he had patched things up with Blaine and it made my heart happy. I didn't want to be the cause of best friends falling out.

My smile turned into a frown as I got closer and realised he wasn't there. It was definitely Sam's car, I had spent many times last week sobbing against it over Blaine while Sam reassured me.

I touched the car as I reached it, wondering where on earth he was and what he was doing here at this time in the morning. It was then that I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked at the bleachers, and gasped. What on earth? It couldn't be.

I walked over, trying to keep myself hidden which was pretty hard to do as there were no trees to hide behind. I crept up quietly, praying I wouldn't be seen. I caught sight of a litter bin, near to where the movement in the bleachers was going on, and hid behind it, crouching down.

I could see the back of Sam's head and his checked shirt. His voice could be heard in the still of the early morning. I listened, trying not to breathe in the smell of the garbage that obviously hadn't been changed. I briefly wondered if Blaine was responsible for changing the bins, then shrugged it off. He had been through a rough time lately, it didn't matter if he had forgotten a few bins.

"Sooner or later, we are going to have to come clean."

Sam's voice really was as clear as day to me right now. Who was he speaking to? Why was he under the bleachers?.

I tried to stifle my gasp of shock as I heard the unmistakable sickly sweet tone of Quinn.

"I keep telling you, not yet. You have to give it time."

"I have already given it time. How much longer do you expect me to wait? Come on Quinn, I could probably win an award for the most patient boyfriend of all time."

I couldn't help it, I gasped again. Boyfriend? My ears had to be playing tricks on me. They had to be.

"I know baby. I know it's hard , but this whole mess was your idea. Just wait a little bit longer, and it will all be over."

I hear Sam sigh, and see his blonde floppy hair shaking from side to side. I still couldn't see Quinn from my hiding place. I felt sick.

"That's what you said months ago Quinn. I'm tired of this now. How long does it take to ruin that man?"

I see Quinn's arms wrap around Sam's shoulders. I try to block out the kissing noises that follow. This was not happening.

"Blaine will get what's coming to him Sam. You should be thanking me. Not many girlfriends would agree to ruin another man you know. It's a lot to ask."

Another deep sigh from Sam. I felt dizzy even though I was crouching down. In fact, maybe I was still dreaming. That was it probably. I thought I had woke early, but maybe I was sleep walking and this was all an awful dream. But I knew it wasn't. Just like the other day when I saw Quinn standing in Blaine's hut with just a towel wrapped around her. I knew it was real.

"OK , fine. I guess you are right. At least it proves your love for me. It can't be easy pretending to be madly in love with a loser like him."

They both laugh hysterically at that. I put my hand over my mouth, trying not to make a noise. My breathing sounded like thunder claps right now, I was in a world of panic.

"I just want this marriage over and done with. Then you can take him for everything he's got, get him locked up, make sure they throw away the key and then we can be free to … we can just be together."

I felt numb as I realised it wouldn't have mattered if Blaine stayed with Quinn or not. They were planning on destroying him either way. I couldn't let this happen. Tears had sprung to my eyes. I felt devastated for Blaine. This was his best friend. Or clearly not.

"But you know baby, we could be a lot further along if you just told me who he's been fooling around with. It will be a lot quicker. I still don't get why you haven't told me."

I listen in even harder at this, trying not to blow my cover.

I see Sam shake his head again.

"No. I told you before, this is the way it has to be. If you marry him and then carry out the plans, it will have more of an impact. It will crush him. It makes no difference if he was fooling around or not."

I watch as they change positions. I could see both of them side on clearly now. I saw Quinn pout.

"But he was cheating on me Sammy. How can you let a guy cheat on me and get away with it?"

Sam chuckles as he wraps his arms around her waist.

What the hell? This was the single weirdest and most horrifying thing I had ever been witness to in all my life.

"Because if he is in the arms of another girl, it means he isn't focused on you. I may have wanted you to do this, but it still makes me sick to think of you two together."

"Oh come on. You know I haven't touched him like that since I fell for you baby. It makes me sick as well."

Sam runs a hand through his hair. Just ten minutes ago, it was a habit I loved about him. Now it disgusted me.

"You seemed to do a good job of being all over him at lunch the other day."

She groans as she looks at him.

"We have already been through this. I have to make it realistic. Do you want your cover to be blown?. Anyway, you are just trying to change the subject. Why won't you tell me who the girl was?"

"Why does it matter?"

I see his shoulders shrug as he speaks the words.

"Because ruining the girl Blaine likes as well as the man himself would be delicious don't you think?"

She laughs. It was funny how a laugh could sound like poison.

"Let's just stay focused on the main job Quinn. Nobody else matters."

She sighs in frustration.

"You know I heard the whispers the other day. People seemed sure it was that Rachel girl he was seeing."

"I told you it wasn't her. Forget about it."

Sam's tone is snappy. I see the hurt look on Quinn's face.

"Why do you get so angry whenever I mention her?"

I see Sam pull her into a hug, resting his head on her shoulders while rubbing her back. Much the same as he done to me last week when I was distraught over Blaine. I shudder at the thought of ever letting him touch me.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I already told you. It's not her."

"Shame. She really has a face I would like to kick in."

I dig my fingernails into my palm as I listen. I close my eyes and count to ten in my head, forcing myself to stay where I was when what I really wanted to do was go and knock them both out. I knew I wouldn't stand a chance though.

"Don't let her wind you up so much. It wasn't her. She's a decent girl."

What was this? Why was he defending me? I didn't want him covering for me.

"There you go again. Always praising her up. She's awful Sam. Just the way she dresses is enough to make me want to torment her. And her voice is so grating. And don't even get me started on the way she was speaking to me the other day…."

"Shhhh" Sam cuts her off. " Stay focused Quinn. Blaine. Blaine is the one we need to be angry with. He is a shit. He has been a shit to me my whole life. All of our neighbours always loved him more than me, he just oozes charm. He has always had the advantage of being older. He has always had more friends than me. More money until he lost most of it. It even got to a point where my parents started liking him more than me, their own son. He has never had to work hard at anything. He just always gets things. Better grades, better friends, better girls. I could always cope. Until the day I met you and he won you first."

I see Sam's head drop. Quinn places her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her.

"I'm here now aren't I? I always knew you were the one . Blaine just paid me attention and you didn't. Don't stress about it Sam. I love you. I'm yours. I just don't see why you won't let me have a little fun of my own bitch slapping the tart he was screwing around with. Or if not her, then at least let me at that Rachel Berry girl."

"No. We are not ruining anyone else's life. We are good people."

I try with all my might to cover the bitter laugh that came from my mouth. He was seriously deluded.

"Rachel hasn't done anything to you. Blaine Anderson is the target. Let's not forget it."

She sighed, and I watch repulsed as they kiss each other. I thought they were one step away from full on sex before Quinn broke away, holding Sam's hands.

"Speaking of Anderson, I have to get going. He will be expecting me to show up at the hut soon. Fiancée duties and all that."

Sam kisses her hand.

"Just as long as the duties don't stretch to what actual engaged people do, then fine. And while we are on that subject, don't make me watch you all over him in Glee club again or the cafeteria. It makes me want to kill him. Our cover will definitely be blown then."

She laughs again, then blows him a kiss and climbs out from the bleachers, walking away quickly without looking back.

I stay crouched as Sam stands like a statue for a few minutes, watching her go, then he suddenly turns his head right in my direction. I press myself against the bin, praying he can't see anything. I hear him clamber over the bleachers and poke my head round again, breathing a sigh of relief as he heads to his car, getting in and driving away from the football fields. When he has disappeared, I fall on the ground, clutching my racing heart.

My head was spinning. Sam. It was Sam all along. Sam wants to take Blaine down. And I had to stop him. I couldn't figure out why Sam was protecting me, but I didn't have the time nor the feelings to care. All I cared about right now was Blaine.

I stood up shakily, dusting the grass and twigs off my dress from where I had been crouching, then I made my way to the NYADA building. The parking lot was nearly full now, ready for classes to begin.

I run into the building, Frantically searching every class in the hope of seeing Blaine. I only had five minutes before the bell would be ringing, and I had to tell him. I had to. I checked every store cupboard, the cafeteria, the auditorium and every corridor. I even thought about running back to the hut but the bell rang. I took a deep breath as I walked to singing class.

What could I do? I sat next to Sam in this class. I kept seeing Blaine's face in my head. I had to keep things normal for him. Until I could tell him what I knew. Otherwise there was no telling what would happen. Sam and Quinn both seemed crazy to me, and if they were capable of destroying Blaine because they just felt like it, then they were capable of anything.

I walked into the room, relieved as I noticed Sam wasn't there yet. I sat next to Marley and Jake, who had clearly made up at the weekend and were clutching hands, smiling sweetly at each other.

I made small talk with them, trying to keep calm. Despite my constant telling myself to seem natural, I flinched when Sam walked in. He smiled cheerily at us, just like he would have done last week. It was all an act. I froze as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

He sat next to me in his usual spot and frowned.

"Are you OK ? Have I done something wrong?"

I tried not to laugh at the question. I wanted to answer him. I wanted to say "No, the only thing you have done wrong is plotting an evil plan to try to and destroy the innocent man I love."

I gasped at my own thoughts. Love. Loved. I realised at that moment that I was in love with Blaine. I had thought he was crazy when just yesterday he told me he loved me. I thought he was off his rockers. You can't fall for somebody that quick. But now I realised it was true. I did love him. And I needed to protect him.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

I look at Sam, remembering I had just gasped out loud.

"Tummy ache."

It was the only cover I could think of, and it was lame. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You want me to take you to sick bay? You can lie down or go home or something. Come on."

He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me up. I shook his hand off with force, trying not to growl in protest at his touch.

I realised I was acting suspiciously, if I kept it up, he would soon know something was wrong.

I smiled at him, knowing the smile was weak. I wouldn't ever be able to smile at him the same way again. He was no longer my smiley funny friend Sam. He was a monster.

"Girls Tummy Ache if you know what I mean…. Nothing I can't handle."

He nods shyly then looks to the front. It amazed me how innocent he could be. It was all a lie.

I had never been so happy to see Mr Schuester walk in the room . It meant I didn't have to speak to Sam anymore.

The lesson dragged by, all I could think about was Blaine. Mr Schu paired us up to sing a duet, and there were more girls in the class than boys so I ended up with Marley. My heart wasn't really in it and she kept asking if I was OK . By the time lunch came round, I ran to the cafeteria. Britt and Santana were sitting down at our table when I got there.

"Hey, have you seen Blaine?"

Santana rolls her eyes.

"Don't tell me you are still chasing after him? Even after yesterday when we all walked out? Come on Rachel, give it up. He's not worth it."

I hadn't told Brittany about the stuff Blaine had said yesterday. I didn't want to make it worse for Blaine so I had kept quiet. She nodded her head in agreement and looked up at me apologetically.

"Santana is right. Don't chase him anymore."

I knew why they were concerned. I really did. And I appreciated the fact that they were being friends. But I didn't have time for this right now. I saw Sam , Jake and Marley heading in the lunch room, I couldn't stay here with him. I pleaded with Brittany.

"Please Britt, it's important. Have you seen him?"

She sighed, then shrugged her shoulders.

"He was over by his hut when we walked here for lunch. He's probably gone by now though."

She shrugs again and I run out. As I go, Sam tries to grab my arm. I shake him off and try not to listen as he shouts my name.

I run out to the fields again, and head straight for the hut. Just as I am about to knock on the door, Blaine opens it, broom in hand. His eyes light up as he sees me.

"Hey you. I was just about to come do the lunch rounds." He smiled at me, and I couldn't help beaming back. I loved him. I was in love with Blaine. Of that I was certain. His happy expression turned nervous as his hazel eyes searched the grounds, then he pulled me in the hut, locking the door.

"I told you yesterday, you have to keep away. I can't risk you getting hurt Rachel."

I grabbed his hand, I needed to touch him.

"I know. But…"

I stopped. I looked at his unbelievably handsome face. I had to tell him that his best friend, the guy he had known since he was three years old…. Was trying to ruin his life. How did you tell someone that?

He raised a thick black eyebrow in question.

"The thing is Blaine… I… uh…."

I jumped at the shrill ring of his phone. He smiled apologetically then took the phone out of his pocket and answered.

It was his Dad. He rolled his eyes, muttered a few yeahs, then hung up.

"Sorry beautiful, I have to go. Huge drama with a burst pipe in one of the toilets. I get all the glamorous jobs hey."

He goes to open the door, I hold his arm, stopping him.

"Blaine, You don't understand. I need to talk to you."

He frowns, waiting.

I still couldn't find the words.

"Look, you know I want to listen right? You know I'm here for you? But right now, I have to go sort this out. And, you really shouldn't be here. If Quinn sees you here… I just, please baby, make this easier for me."

His phone started ringing again, and he shook his head, looking exasperated at it.

"It's Dad again, I have to go. We will talk OK ? I promise."

He kissed me on the top of my head, then ushered us out of the hut, locking the door behind us.

He gave me a sad smile, and started running off towards the building.

I hurried away from the hut in case anyone saw me, inwardly cursing myself for not telling him as soon as I walked in.

What the hell was I supposed to do now?


	15. Chapter 15

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 15

Just as I reached the grey building a few minutes after Blaine ran in to fix the pipe, Sam came rushing out of the double doors. He almost ran into me.

"Woah. Hey Rach. Didn't see you there."

I try to keep my face cool and calm. He couldn't see that anything was wrong. I wouldn't allow that.

"It's fine. What's the hurry? Anyone would think you were plotting something evil and had just been found out."

I watch as his mouth falls open for just a second, then he starts laughing as if what I had just said was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

"If only my life were that exciting! I have to go and meet … "

I raise an eyebrow in question.

"Yes?"

"Uh.. I have to go and meet erm.. Blaine. I was wondering if he was at his hut."

My stomach drops at the thought of Sam going anywhere near Blaine. If I couldn't warn Blaine for now, I could at least keep them apart.

"I just saw him running off, some emergency in the bathrooms or something."

He studies my face and shoves his hands in his jeans pockets.

"How would you know that Rach? You shouldn't be sniffing around him anymore. He's with Quinn remember? You need someone decent. Somebody who will treat you right."

I look down at the ground, trying not let my anger spoil my poker face.

"I heard the commotion in the bathrooms actually, I just came out to get some fresh air."

He was still looking at me like he didn't believe a word of it.

"So you ran out of the cafeteria earlier in a hurry because you needed the bathroom?"

I shrugged.

"Like I told you in singing class, time of month."

He once again looked embarrassed . I decided if I were going to beat Quinn and Sam at this evil game they were playing, I had to do everything I didn't want to.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and done what I thought was my most shy look.

"So… what were you saying? Something about needing somebody to treat me right?"

He looked surprised at the turn in the conversation.

"Oh. Yeah. You do deserve somebody who loves you. Somebody who isn't going to cheat on you."

I laugh.

"Technically, he was cheating on Quinn. I was the other woman."

He shrugs at this, and I see his eyes widen when I mention Quinn. How did I not notice the way his face told a story whenever she was mentioned before?

"Well, you know what I mean. You deserve better."

I close the gap between us, and feeling completely sick at what I was about to do, place my hand on his chest. He gulps and looks down at me in confusion.

"Better? Someone like you perhaps?"

His cheeks turn pink and his mouth opens to say something.

"Seeing as you can't speak to Blaine right now, do you want to go hang out somewhere for the rest of lunch? With me?"

His face creases into a smile as he links my arm, nodding with enthusiasm.

"Where to?"

I shrug , trying to play it cool.

"How about your car."

He looks startled at the proposition, but we start walking towards it.

He opens the passenger door for me and I climb in, feeling more panic inside than I was outwardly showing.

The car sunk down as he got in next to me, and he started up the engine. I hadn't banked on this, I thought going to his car so I could try and catch him out would be a good idea, but I didn't think we would be going anywhere.

"Uh , Sam, we only have forty minutes left of lunch, we haven't got time to go on a road trip."

I try to make sure my tone is jokey, so he can't detect the nervousness within me.

I even throw in a light-hearted laugh.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes, a smile on his face.

"I'm just going to drive to the back of the fields. It's quieter around there."

I felt relief at that. The thought of even being alone with Sam in a public place gave me chills, let alone going anywhere else.

"We should do that one day though."

My mind had been on how I could catch him out. I wasn't listening properly.

"Do what?"

I watched as he rolled his eyes again while backing out of the parking lot.

"Where is your head at today Rach?! A road trip. Just me and you. We should do it."

Right on cue, I shuddered. He glanced at me, a puzzled look on his face.

"Sorry, Just got the chills. And yeah, one day we should. Sounds good."

I kept remembering to act normal around him. I had done a terrible job of it so far, he would soon realise something was up.

We came to a stop on a quiet road that ran along the back of the furthest field. He took his keys out of the ignition, took his seatbelt off, and turned to me. I did the same, turning my body towards him. I had to concentrate on him now.

"So, here we are. Hanging out."

"Yes."

It was all I could say. I felt so weird, sitting here in a car with a guy I thought had been my friend but was now my enemy. I opened the door a little, mainly checking he hadn't locked me in. I wouldn't put it past him.

Again, he throws me a curious look as I take a lungful of air.

"So Sam, tell me about yourself."

If he looked confused before, the look on his face was priceless now.

"Me? Why do you want to know about me?"

I kept eye contact with him.

"Because you are my friend. And because… well… because."

I stop, looking down at my legs.

He grabs one of my hands, It takes all my will power to not flinch away.

"Because ….?"

I took another deep breath and looked up at him, fluttering my eyelashes slightly. For some reason, he had defended me earlier when speaking to Quinn. As much as I hated to admit it, he liked me. He had a problem with Blaine, a huge problem, but he seemed to be fond of me, even if I now realised he never liked me like that. But two could play at this game. If you can't beat them, join them.

"Because things didn't exactly work out with Blaine and … I am kind of glad. It means I can get to know you."

Not for the first time since we had been talking today, his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Oh. Well I would like that. What do you want to know?"

I decided to jump in at the deep end. I squeezed his hand back and edged a bit closer to him.

"Are you dating anyone?"

He shakes his head immediately. Now I knew he was lying, you could tell he was a liar if that made sense.

His reaction was too quick, too insistent, to be the truth.

"No. No no no. You know I'm not. What an odd question."

"Well can you blame me after what happened with Blaine? I need to make sure that anyone I like from now on is a free agent."

He started nodding, then looked out of the front window. It was probably so he could hide the guilty look upon his face.

"That's understandable. You… you like me?"

I looked down at my legs again, which makes him turn back to me, waiting for an answer.

"I … I don't know Sam. My emotions are all over the place. I think I could like you."

To my surprise, when I look up, he is beaming at my answer. He looks genuinely happy. I found his whole behaviour weird. He was madly in love with Quinn, plotting some horrible fate for Blaine, and here he was acting like this with me. I couldn't figure it out at all.

"That's good enough for me. It's nice to know that there could be a chance for us one day."

I smile back, wondering if he can detect the fakeness.

"So, no girlfriends hiding in the background waiting to jump out at me then?"

He laughed, too nervously, too fidgety. I was amazed how I didn't see the lies before today.

"No. I'm not Blaine . I wouldn't do that to you."

My eyes narrow as I take my hand away from his on the pretence I needed to move my hair away from my face, but really, I just wanted to stop touching him.

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

He looks back out of the window at my question and shrugs lazily, his arm resting on the steering wheel.

"There was somebody once"

His answer surprised me. And the look of pain on his face surprised me.

"Tell me about her."

He sighed, and looked back at me, but he wasn't really seeing me. His head was somewhere else.

"Quinn. Quinn as in your Blaine's Quinn."

I had to remember to act shocked. I made my mouth fall open. Maybe the Rachel of yesterday would have been angry to know that somebody as wonderful as Sam loved a girl who I hated.

"He's not my Blaine. And Quinn? Are you serious? Of all the girls Sam."

He shakes his head sadly, a small bitter smile appearing on his lips.

"You can't help who you fall for Rach. You should know that after the week you've had.."

I nod. That was the first thing he had said that I genuinely agreed with.

"Tell me what happened. How did she end up with Blaine and not you?"

He took a deep breath and fell back against the seat, looking up at the car roof.

"Not much to tell. We had a lot of the same classes together, she became my best friend. We were always laughing, joking and having fun. At first, i didn't want to risk our friendship. I kept trying to work up the courage to ask her out, but Blaine got there first."

His voice sounded venomous as he said Blaine's name.

"That's rough Sam. Sorry. And you stayed best friends with Blaine? That must hurt as well."

He shrugged, still staring up at nothing.

"Blaine is my best friend. He didn't know I liked Quinn so much. I couldn't blame him when he assumed that we were just friends. Blaine is everything I'm not."

I couldn't help but agree with the last sentence. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to shake him and ask why he would do something like this to his best friend. But I knew I had to keep the game going.

"So… you loved Quinn? Real love or just… you know?"

Now he looks at me, and puts the key back in the ignition. I close the car door shut and start putting my seat belt back on.

"Oh, it was real. About as real as anything ever could be."

He said it with such certainty. I didn't want to believe it was true, but I had to admit that no matter how messed up it might be, Sam definitely loved Quinn. It wasn't just a revenge thing about Blaine, it was Quinn. Sam probably would have coped with Blaine always out shining him if Quinn hadn't walked into their lives. They wouldn't be plotting to take Blaine down right now if Blaine had stayed away from Quinn.

"You sound like you still love her."

He started driving back towards the parking lot.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm trying to move on. That is all I can do."

"It must kill you seeing them together though."

He laughed quietly, It sounded all wrong. It was sinister.

"Things always work out in the end."

I shuddered, knowing exactly what he meant by that. It meant that he couldn't wait for the moment Blaine Anderson lost everything. I wouldn't let that happen. We pulled up into the parking lot, same space as before, and climbed out of the car.

"Maybe we can do this again sometime?"

I hadn't come close to catching him out, I really didn't know what to do now.

He nodded, walking over to me , holding his arms out for a hug. I oblige, it's what I would have done before I overheard him plotting to destroy Blaine, so I had to do it now.

"We will definitely do it again. Catch you later Rach."

He ran off quickly towards the main building. I follow behind a few minutes later. Last time I had Sam running out of the building like a loon, this time Blaine bumped into me as he came flying out the doors.

"Damn it, sorry." He looks at me, and his face turns into a grimace. "Oh it's you."

His reaction puzzles me.

"Erm… thanks?"

His huge eyes bore into me, an apologetic look briefly sweeping over his features.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head, wondering what was up with him.

"Did you get the pipe fixed? Have you got time to speak to me yet?"

He shrugged, looking around him warily.

" I thought I acted like a jerk towards you. You clearly needed to tell me something and I was too stressed thinking about this job. I came running back to say sorry, and saw you were getting into a car with Sam. So you clearly couldn't have needed my company that much"

I knew that a look of guilt crossed my face at this. He was already paranoid that there was more to me and Sam than met the eye, the last thing I wanted him to see was me going off with him.

"Oh. You saw that? It was nothing. I just needed a quick word with him."

I could still feel his suspicious eyes on me as I looked down at the ground.

"I didn't say it wasn't nothing."

I looked up at him, that was true. I was making things worse. Classes would be starting in five minutes, but right now, I didn't give a shit.

"Blaine, I need to talk to you. Please. It's urgent. Me and Sam… it wasn't what you thought it was."

He frowns.

"You are the only one making me think there is something going on. Why do you keep saying stuff like that?"

I shake my head in frustration.

"It's just hard to explain. We can't talk here."

He sighs deeply, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"All I want to do right now is whisk you away so we can talk. Get away from everything and everyone. But I can't . I can't do that. You have classes in a bit, people will talk. We will have to figure something out soon. "

"I need to talk to you now Blaine. Right now."

The urgency in my voice scared even me. This time, he really took notice. I had to tell him. I couldn't keep it bottled up any longer. I heard the bell go, signalling the end of lunch.

I linked his hand discreetly while the crowds pushed past us into the building. He gave my hand a squeeze and I took a deep breath.

"Come on."

I let go of his hand and walked away from the building and out of the parking lot. I checked behind me to make sure he was following, relief washing over me as I realised he was.

As soon as we were away from the NYADA building, I hung back, waiting for him to catch up.

He grinned at me, wrapping an arm around my waist as we walked back to mine.

"I know you will get in the shit from your Dad for bunking from work, but this really is urgent. It can't wait."

He pulled me closer to him, I instantly felt safe in his arms.

"I know. I can tell. Whatever it is, we will get through it. Don't worry about my Dad. He can make it one afternoon without me. But what about your classes?"

I shrug, and slide my arm around him, wanting to feel him. I felt complete whenever we were touching. Everything seemed right. Which was ironic, because at this moment, nothing was right.

"This is more important."

He nodded, and didn't question me any further as we walked into the dorms and up the five flights of stairs. As I turned my key into the lock, my hands shook.

It was going to be a rough deal telling Blaine his best friend hated him.


	16. Chapter 16

**New York State Of Mind**

Chapter 16

Blaine and I walked into my dorm room, and it felt weird. It was odd having Blaine at 'my place' . The only time he had been here previously was when he walked in on me and Sam playing twister. I pushed the thought out of my mind as I grabbed his hand and led him over to the sofa, pushing him gently so he sat down.

"Do you want a drink or something?"

I was still standing up, but he hadn't let go of my hand. His eyes were amused as he stared up at me.

"I want something."

I gasped as he pulled me down, making me fall into his lap. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. His other hand crept up towards the back of my neck, and he gently guided my face towards his. Just as I thought he was about to kiss me, he touched the tip of my nose with his and stared into my eyes.

"I've missed you."

I couldn't help the grin that spread over my face at his words. I traced his jaw line softly with my finger, then follow the pattern with my lips. When my mouth reaches his, he kisses me. Every kiss with Blaine felt like a first kiss. I unzipped his paint splattered over-alls, and he wriggled out of them, never breaking away from the kiss. I let my hand slide up underneath his t-shirt , feeling his chest. I would never get tired of touching him.

I moaned a little as he showered me with kisses on my neck, and just before I got to the point of ripping his clothes off, I jumped from his lap, my breathing heavy as I tried to regain my composure. I couldn't get carried away, I had made him come here for a reason.

He pouted up at me, his hazel eyes swimming with desire. It was enough to make me want to throw myself at him, but I couldn't.

"Don't look at me like that."

To my frustration, he just grinned, making me want him even more.

"This is serious Blaine. I didn't bring you here to fool around. You are making me lose concentration. I can't tell you stuff if you are doing…. That."

He shrugged lazily, then yawned and stretched his arms up, his t-shirt rose, showing off a glimpse of his toned stomach.

"You can't play the victim with me Miss Berry. You were the one driving me wild, don't lay all the sexy blame at my door."

I couldn't help but laugh at this. I fold my arms across my chest, trying to look stern.

"Sexy blame? Seriously, is that even a thing?! Anyway, what did I do?"

He stood up, which was a relief because I was seriously close to just taking his t-shirt completely off. It was driving me insane with the teasing.

"Fine. You didn't do anything. Well, I mean, you did but… it's not your fault. You can't help being so hot."

My jaw falls open at this. I didn't know whether to laugh again or drag him to my bedroom. I shook my head as he stepped towards me, pulling him into his arms again.

"Blaine Anderson, I am about to rock your world , and not in a good way. Can you just please take things seriously for once?"

My voice sounded muffled as my face was buried in his chest as he hugged me. I was on the verge of tears now. My emotions were all over the place. I hated the thought of what I was about to do.

I felt him kiss me gently on the top of my head, then he lead me over to the kitchen bar stool. He sat on it, pulling me to stand in between his legs.

"Tell me. Let's get this over with. "

I take a deep breath, and place my hands on his legs. I look into his eyes, wanting to drink in the details one more time before I unleashed a world of pain on him.

"It's Sam."

It was devastating. His eyes widened, then his jaw set in a hard line. He looked down at my hands on his legs, and the rise and fall of his shoulders told me that he was breathing deeply to try and contain his emotions.

"I knew it. Just…. I want you to be happy Rachel. I know I have brought this on myself with the whole Quinn drama, and I know that I don't deserve you . I didn't expect you to wait for me. But you know it's going to crush me seeing you two together don't you?"

He looked up at me as he asked the question, and it took my brain a minute to catch up with what exactly was going on. When the penny finally dropped, I couldn't help laughing. His eyebrow raised in question at my reaction, he still looked painfully wounded.

"Are you for real? You think I … you think me and Sam… you think…."

I break off, not knowing how to finish. I laugh again, mostly because I didn't know what else to do, then I squeeze his knees gently, while staring into his eyes.

"There is no me and Sam. I am in love with you. When are you going to get it through that silly brain of yours?"

His eyes light up and he pushes off the bar stool, making it clatter to the floor behind him. I yelp as he picks me up and swings me round, then he rests a hand on my cheek. I had never seen his smile so big.

"You love me?"

Oh shit. Shit shit shit. I hadn't meant to tell him that.

I felt my cheeks turn pink as I looked down at the floor.

"Uh… yeah. I guess. I guess I do."

"Wow. Just… wow. Can I go and just…"

He let go of me and ran to the window.

"Blaine, what are you…?"

I don't get to finish my question as he opened the window and leaned out of it.

"RACHEL BERRY LOVES ME! TAKE THAT WORLD."

My cheeks turn beet red as I run to him, pulling him away from the window, unable to control my giggles.

"Are you insane?! What are you doing?"

He wraps his arms around my waist again, pulling me close to him.

"I had to let everyone know."

In a second, his lips find mine. I close my eyes, relaxing into the 'always a first' kiss. I knew that I would never lose this feeling as long as I was with him.

Again, I nearly lost my composure. I very nearly attempted to drag him to the bedroom as he ran a hand up and down my back, pressing me closer to him, kissing me deeper. It took all my willpower to break away from him.

"You do not make things easy do you? I've been trying to tell you something. You just keep trying to stop me with your weird kissing magic."

The corners of his eyes crinkled with amusement, his mouth upturned in a sexy smile.

"Kissing magic? And Rachel, listen to me."

He places a finger under my chin, tilting my head up to meet his eyes.

"Nothing you say, nothing you tell me… is ever going to be more important than you telling me you love me."

Yet again, I can't stop the grin on my face at his words. I knew we had been through some dramas in the little time we had known each other, but whenever I was in his company, I just wanted to laugh and smile. I felt like I was walking on air with Blaine by my side.

"Except for the day you say 'I Do' . Oh and , when you tell me you are pregnant with my baby. Those words will be important."

I dissolve into giggles, playfully hitting him on his arm.

"Will you stop?!. This is serious. This is important."

He sighs, and holds my hands.

"Just say it. Say what you need to say."

Not for the first time that night, I take a deep breath . Now is the time.

"Sam hates you. He is planning some sort of crazy thing to destroy you."

I actually winced as he jumps back in shock shaking his head. The look of pain on his face is unbearable.

"This morning, I arrived early at NYADA with the intention of telling Quinn that I knew everything. That I knew she was fucking crazy and that I wasn't going to let her win this game."

His eyes turn from pain to anger. I take a step closer to him , closing the gap between us again, and just as he is about to protest, I put a finger to his lips.

"Don't. Don't be mad. I just wanted to protect you. I love you."

His eyes soften now, I take my finger away and place my hand over his heart while I carry on. I didn't know why, It just made me feel close to him.

"Anyway, I saw Sam's car over near the bleachers in the football grounds, so I ran over to the car, wondering what he was doing here so early. Then I saw him with Quinn under the bleachers. I crept over and hid behind the garbage can, and I listened as they said all this crazy stuff. They are in love with each other Blaine. They are together. Sam is the one making Quinn go through with this marriage thing. Although she's not putting up much of a fight. She seems quite happy to go along and destroy you. But Sam is… He is so mad at you. The anger in his voice was…. I'm terrified Blaine."

Even though I could see he was clearly in shock from all that I said, he placed his hand on top of mine, a small, sad smile on his lips.

"Don't be scared baby girl. I will never let them hurt you."

I scoffed, shaking his hand off in anger. I sat down on the sofa, unable to believe my ears.

"I'm terrified for you Blaine. Not myself. I couldn't give a shit what they do to me. I am scared for you."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I could tell he was having difficulty. Instead, he comes and sits next to me.

"Don't be. We will think of something. I should have known Sam would turn out like this. Ever since we were younger, I noticed the way he stared at me sometimes. If I caught him doing a certain look, it gave me chills."

He shuddered, staring at the blank TV screen in front of him.

"He looked like he could kill me. You know? Like really go to town on me if he was given the chance. Of course, I just put it down to me being paranoid. Sam is… was… my best friend. Why would a best friend want to do that?"

I knew I was being selfish, but at that moment, I wanted to cry. The whole thing was just too horrible. Too horrible for words.

"What are we going to do Blaine?"

"We aren't going to do anything. It's my problem, I will deal with it."

"Oh don't be so ridiculous. As if you are going through it alone. I'm here. I always will be."

He smiles at this, looking a bit more like himself.

"Besides, Quinn is already on to me so I may as well be involved."

I gasp as he jumps up, pulling me with him.

"What? What do you mean Quinn is on to you? Rachel, you have to hide. You have to keep away from her. You have to drop out of NYADA."

I couldn't help but laugh at this. He was so worked up and stressed that I had to calm him down. I placed my hands on his shoulders, making him look me in the eye.

"Calm down. I'm not dropping out or hiding. She isn't going to hurt me. Sam is uh… well.. don't ask why, but Sam seems to be defending me."

His eyes narrow.

"What do you mean defending you?"

I shrug. I was as confused about it as he seemed to be.

"I don't know. Quinn said that she heard the girl you had been seeing was me, and Sam insisted it wasn't. He told her that I'm a decent person and to leave me alone. And she agreed, for him."

"I don't like the sound of that Rachel. If Quinn knows it's you, she will be planning something. Even if she is in love with another guy who happens to be my best friend who just happens to be planning my downfall and ruin my life, she will be angry that I embarrassed her. Trust me, I know her well. I know you said Sam is instigating it all, and I believe you, I really do, but Quinn Fabray will not be made a fool of. You have to keep out of her way until we can figure something out."

I shrug again. I didn't feel scared at all if Blaine was right. I couldn't give a hoot about some bitchy cheerleader. My head was full of what would happen to Blaine if we didn't stop Sam and Quinn.

"So what is the plan? You can't keep up the pretence of being engaged to her anymore. You can't be pretend best friends with Sam either. But at the same time… I don't know what they will try and do to you when they find out you know."

I put my head in my hands, crying out in frustration.

It was only when I once again felt Blaine's strong arms wrap around me that I felt calmer. Safer. Protected.

"It will be OK beautiful . It will all be OK . We will sort it. I promise. And hey…. "

He pulls my hands away from my face, then embraces me again while I raise an eyebrow in question. I couldn't speak. I didn't have the energy. I was worn out from thinking about it all.

"I was right earlier. Nothing you told me was more important than you loving me."

Despite the fear I felt for him inside, I smiled at this.

He kissed me on the cheek, smiling tenderly at me before speaking again.

"And I love you. And that is all that matters. If both of us know we love each other, then we will make it through this. We will make it through anything."


End file.
